Okay. So I have been P.M.Sing hardcore this last little while. That’s usually the time where I need my space. So yeah, I take a day or 2 away from people. The first two days are the worst, I’m freakin loopy as hell. Anything could make me either pissed off, or cry. It’s either one extreme or other. Yesterday I was watching a movie, it was one of those sappy scenes, normally they would not get to me, but no, when I’m P.M.S I’m overly sensitive. It’s pathetic. I seriously can’t help but laugh at myself afterward because it is that pathetic.
So yeah, as long as I can get through the first two days without doing to much damage. I’m fine. Two days of being a bit psycho, overly opinionated, and being more pathetically sensitive than I already am
Anyway, enough of that, lets move on. I did manage to get stuff done finally. Without putting it off and continually saying “I’ll do it tomorrow” every freakin day. I had to pull an all nighter mind you, but it was worth it. I got everything I needed to get done by 4pm. I called Daya counseling, and of coarse, they just told me they were over booked and to try another time. I actually made it to the Food Bank this month. So I have food at home, not much, but it works. Then I had to pay my Reliance bill and hand in a copy of the bill stamped, and a receipt to OW. Done. My money will probably be released by midnight. I hope so, I need a smoke.
It looks as though I will not be getting a phone this month. $100 of my shelter money will be going to pay off Reliance. So instead of receiving $225, I’ll probably be getting $125. Unless, I sell my art or something, a new phone is not likely to be in my possession any time soon.
Although, if any reader is interested in purchasing my art, I have a little gallery of what is available at the following link:
Anyway, my next project I’m working on at the New School of Colour will be my first Oil Painting. When I sketched it out, all I can say is I even freak myself out sometimes. The stuff that comes out of my head… I really hope I can pull it off.
Besides that, there has been drama between my friends and I. One is resolved, the other, just gonna shrug it off and move on. Just because I don’t like this friends boyfriend, this friend thinks so morbidly and says “Wouldn’t it be funny if her boyfriend ran Pooks over with his bus.” Why would you even think that?! I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that wouldn’t think too lightly of this guy if they knew what the fuck my friend is going through. What he’s put her through. But no no no, she claims to be in love. And this shit is stuck on repeat. I feel like I have been placed in my sisters position that occured over a year ago, when she tried to warn me about my now ex, I did not listen. I wish I had though, because she was right.
Anyway, this friend of mines boyfriend, why I do not like him. He’s hurt my friend numerous times emotionally. Which in my opinion, is even worse than physical pain, it lasts longer. Physical pain is temporary. He has said that she does not deserve his unconditional love. He compares her to his exes and says that she is not good enough, because she’s in low income housing and on welfare. He uses her for sex. He laughed at her during the act, and called her boring, said he was sick of her.He doesn’t even trust her.
She is now planning their wedding. Because she thinks their in love. Love is acceptance, not sex. A lot of people confuse love for sex. Also, a relationship without trust isn’t much of a relationship at all. I wish there was more I could do, but I did my best, she chose to ignore my warnings and forgive him…again. Sounds so familiar. Funny how tables turn. I can only back off, and let shit run their coarse. Let her live her own life. Let her learn for herself. I am powerless. All I can do is just be there when needed, and hope that I am wrong. Hope that he can change for the better as she believes. Although if it were “love” as she claims it is, neither would have to change who they are. – Pooks