So I burned yet another bridge with someone. This time, my supposed little sister. Seriously, if I have to start from scratch to build my supports I will. If that is the only way I am going to break this abusive cycle, so be it. I don’t want abuse in my life anymore, and I will not tolerate it.
Yeah, she’s pregnant, good for her. This is, like my mom did, who the fuck is she coming to to dump her drama on? Me. Whenever her and her man get in a fight, in come the text messages. Or whatever negative shit she can throw at me. Such as beating her dog. Which pretty much began the burning of the bridge so to speak.
Her dog is a one year old. Part Sheppard and something else. Supposedly husky, or wolf or something. But whatever, the breed doesn’t matter, if your good to the dog, it will be rather happy and behaved. But her and her boyfriend punch this dog in the head, apparently beating it is their form of discipline, and they wonder why their dog is aggressive, attacking their kitten, and other people.
She kept telling me to stop comparing her dog to a child, her dog is an animal. A beast. That’s not the point, it is a living thing! Plus, successful pet owners often do treat their pets like family.
This brought up my past. She said I left a pit-bull to die, shows what she knows. Jack shit! When a friend got me out of an abusive relationship and into the Rotholme centre. The pit-bull wasn’t alone obviously, my friend that got me out, was there. My ex got thrown in jail, the dogs were given to new owners. But unfortunately for the pit-bull, my ex kicked it in the stomach too many damn times, it died from internal bleeding, and damaged intestines. It was too late. That pit bull died for me, it protected me and fought for me.
Apparently that’s the image my sister likes to place herself as. Ya know? What the pit-bull did for me. But the truth came out, and she admitted that if it weren’t for a friend of hers, she would have punched me out. So she’s not this valiant protective sister as she pretends to be. Just a hater in disguise. She may have a pretty face, but one hell of an ugly personality.
Now, since she is expecting a baby on the way, I told her to cut it out. Stop hitting the dog. I flat out told her she was being abusive. I mean, she thinks she can lay her hands on anyone. She has hit all her ex boyfriends, her brother, cops, friends, her recent boyfriend, and her dog. Who knows who else. She’s violent, and has proudly admitted to being a predator. I told her, if she keeps that shit up she will lose her kid. And of coarse she flipped out thinking I was talking about the dog, and told me to stop acting like the dog is a child.
And of coarse, she rubbed the fact that I lost my kids in my face. She accuses me of being abusive. Yeah, I threw a dresser drawer at my exes face. It’s not like I go punching out every single person I come in contact with. I knew what I did was wrong. Did I repeat it? No! As for my son, If I give him a time out, and he just walks away because his aunt is there. Ummm.. no. Just because she’s there, doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a pushover. I will get him on his time out. EVEN IF THAT MEANS I HAVE TO DRAG HIM! No, I’m not innocent. I’ve been openly admitting my mistakes. I spanked my son once. Never again. I cried beside his bed, and practically begged him to forgive me. These days, I refuse to touch him, not without his consent. Difference between her and I is that I learn, I don’t repeat. I can respect a persons space. She doesn’t. Just like my supposed mom, she respects no one, but expects respect.
Good fuckin riddance.
She said C.A.S are closing their file, and rubs it in my face that they were in my life for 8 years. Phhht… it won’t be long until their back. I sure as hell am not sticking around for when her son decides to say no, and not listen. She clearly has no patience at all.
So yeah, another negative person kicked out the door. Not like she was ever really there anyways. Just when she wants something. Or when we talk, we talk about her. Her, her, her. Yet, I’m supposedly so selfish and so self absorbed.
Whatever. I know that’s not true. Yesterday I proved it. I got my ass out of bed, on a rainy day, a Saturday, to volunteer, and I didn’t have to. Volunteers don’t get paid cash, but the experience itself is rewarding.
Plus, I wouldn’t be taking sociology if I wasn’t curious about the world outside myself. Which reminds me, about the dog, I said hitting the dog will make it aggressive. That’s common sense. My sister made this remark like “You should have gone to class. then you’d know common sense doesn’t exist.” I missed one day! I didn’t drop out because I’d rather get fucked up on crack. So she said something along the lines that I failed from Fanshawe College because I was lazy. Umm.. no. I do have some health issues, rheumatoid arthritis, anemia ( so yeah, I’m tired all the fuckin time!!) , anxiety, and depression. You’d get depressed too if you thought you got away from an abuser, and then that person moves in. Also, the discrimination I experienced at college was quite the shocker for me at the time. Thus adding to the depression. Point is, I am back, and making another attempt at a secondary education. My solution to a better situation isn’t getting knocked up. Ahem, she’d still be on the streets of Ottawa if she wasn’t pregnant. Good luck taking care of a kid, considering she can barely take care of herself! I don’t need her bullshit in my life. I’m so done with abuse. Just tired of it.
Yeah, she says we’re two different people now, and I don’t know her anymore. Damn rights I don’t, and I don’t want to know who she has become either. Boo fuckin hoo, she doesn’t like me anymore. Good! I obviously don’t like her either.
The only way I’m going to get better is if I cut the negative, abusive people out. They just remind me of the trauma. – Pooks