Stupid Frackin Greedy Bitches!

Fellow activists really need to stop this attitude, or mindset, that one is smarter than the other. It’s that way of thinking “I’m right, you’re wrong.” What ends up happening is that we end up bullying each-other. Trying to make someone feel stupid doesn’t help what we are trying to accomplish. In fact, it does the opposite. Rather than creating unity, it creates more fear, and deteriorates us apart from each-other.

I’ve noticed it more online, than in person. Matter of fact, I’m guilty of it. But, after much thought, I realize that is not how to go about the situation. Yes, we do encounter some ignorant people, that aren’t aware of the bigger picture. It can be challenging to explain without frustration. More challenging if the person you are trying to educate takes offense to the facts that are being said. Such as “We are all slaves.” People take offense to the word “slave”, and it should. You should be angry about it. But not take it as an attack from me or any other activist. We didn’t put you in that position, this stupid system that has been created to keep the wealthy spoiled rotten, put you in that position. I’m a “slave” too. Not by choice. I’d rather be painting, or writing. Doing what I am really passionate about.

All the people that work 9-5pm, wither they enjoy their jobs or not are slaves. Every dollar they make, they will spend, and who does it inevitably go back to? The Capitalists, Our Governments, Politicians, The Royal Family, The Pope and all those religious hierarchy,  The President, The Federal Banks, the bourgeoisie, etc, etc. The rich folk that don’t gotta do jack shit.  So while they spend your hard earned money in luxury, pampering themselves while millions of people suffer. People either struggle to make ends meet, or they are poor and starving. Not exactly fair. It’s a dumb little game, that needs to change. But this system is so ingrained in our heads, that change is feared. We are so well trained into it, we think we need money to survive. We need money so that we could eat. Say that again, we need money so that we could eat. Do we really? I bet gardeners, and farmers could live without it quite happily. What did we ever do before money ever existed?! Hmmm… Something to ponder. Before money came along, people used to trade, they used a bartering system. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that supposedly bartering has been made illegal, because the Government cannot tax it. Waaah! There’s no money for the Capitalists to gain if we bartered. Greedy bitches!

These Capitalists have become so addicted to greed, they don’t even value life anymore. Matter of fact, they will put everyone in danger, just so they can make more money. Ahem, profits they make off oil and fracking.

Look at the wars going on today. Have you not thought on why Iraq is being attacked? Because the U.S want’s their oil, plain and simple. War is no longer about fighting for freedom. It’s about fighting for profit.

As for Syria, Why is the U.S Government sending drones to kill off their people in the first place? Syria counter attacks by attacking their own people, the minority of Christians in their Country. Which Christianity is huge in the western countries. But what is it that the U.S are after that Syria feels they need to threaten Christians to scare off these military attacks?  My guess, oil. Seems to be the only thing our Governments care about. Which is freakin stupid!

These people in power don’t even think of the consequences of their actions. You cannot clean an oil spill, or a frackin spill. We do not have the technology to fix that kind of damage. But no, the Government thinks covering the land up with mesh, rolling sheets of grass over it, solves the problem. “If you can’t see it, it’s no longer a problem” kind of attitude. Just sweep it under the rug, turn your head, and pretend it’s not there. But if you look up video’s on youtube about Enbridge in Michigan, it proves, just because it’s covered up, doesn’t mean that it’s not still there. There’s a lot of damage to the environment, obviously. The animals, and the people in the surrounding area’s lives are still at risk.

I think the only thing that can truly fix an oil, or fracking spill, is lava. Lava turns everything into stone eventually. And through time, plant life begins to flourish. It’s the only thing that can put all that oil back where it belongs, in the ground. But of coarse that is something we cannot harness. That is something only Mother Nature can do. Not to mention, there aren’t volcano’s all over the world. They’re in random locations. It’s not like we can route lava from one part of the world, to another.

Back to how freakin stupid our “Leaders” are. They don’t even consider the possible futures of their own kids, or grand kids. Sure, they may be wealthy. But the environment they will leave for them will be an unhealthy one. What the heck are they going to eat and drink if we poison all our natural resources?! Hmm.. they haven’t really thought of that obviously. They are too selfish to think outside themselves, and their wealth.

Of coarse I’m concerned. I do have kids, and as a mother it is my duty to provide a bright future for them. That includes their environment. I want them to be able to eat fresh fruit, and vegetables, without having to worry about ingesting oil or any other poisonous substance, such as benzene.  I want them to be able to enjoy nature, swim in the waters, go fishing, without having to worry about the effects it will have on their health.

If you listen to the reality of the lives of the people that live with the results of these oil corporations actions, our Governments choices, it’s like a real life horror story. People in Michigan have gotten cancer, those that lived nearby the oil spills, such as Kalamazoo River.  People in Aamjiwnaang have similar stories, people dying of cancer.

I went to a presentation about fracking, which was presented at the University, one of the speakers was an 18 years old girl from Aamjiwnaang, and she shared a story about what happened to a pregnant dog that drank water from the creek. When her pups were born, they were all deformed, mutated, and they died. She also expressed the amount of death in her community has become a norm. People no longer mourn, they’ve become numb. Kudos to Vanessa Gray. She’s so young and brave to share the harsh realities that has effected her community.

At this presentation, a woman from Texas pointed out that at the beginning and ends of these pipelines are Indigenous communities. What’s with that? Clearly there is still some discrimination that needs to change.

If you are not with Idle No More yet, I suggest you start. As well as Occupy. We fight the same battle, against the same people. The more people that unite together, the better chance we have at stopping all this. As well as a better chance at creating a possible future for the younger generations, and those to come. The Greedy have gone too far. Life, and all living things are not something to take for granted. It’s simple, we need our water, or we’ll die. Same applies to our tree’s, we tend to forget they provide our oxygen.

The current system has it so we are in that mind-set to take care of ourselves. Yet, we should be acting as a whole, a giant community taking care of each-other, and our environment.  – Pooks

“Sooner or later, we will have to realize that the Earth has rights too, to live without pollution. What mankind must know is that human beings cannot live without Mother Earth, but the planet can live without humans.” – Evo Morales

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#trickoreat2013

Hello fellow WordPress bloggers & readers,

I have decided to join in on the Trick or Eat, Meal Exchange, to fight hunger. Since I know what it is like to be homeless,  & to be on welfare, struggling to make ends meet. It only makes sense to try to help those in need.

On Halloween, I will be dressed up going door to door collecting non-perishable food items for local shelters, and the local food bank, along with other members/ students from the campaign I joined, which is Western University.

You can assist me to help those in need by making a donation, and sponsoring me at the link provided below. I look forward to this experience. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you. Merci. Miigwech! You’re awesome! – Pooks

Trick or Eat.

“The poor themselves can create a poverty-free world. All we have to do is to free them from the chains that we have put around them!”- Muhammad Yunus

Before Thanksgiving Ends, I give Thanks

Before Thanksgiving is over, I do recall saying that I would try to post things I am thankful for. So here it goes:

I am thankful to have become a mother of two amazing children. Even though my ex, and I may have our issues that divide us, I am thankful we created two amazing children. We may not be meant to be as a couple, but our children were obviously meant to be.

I am thankful for all the support I’ve gained over the years. Not only online, but in person.

Thank you to the Ark Aid Street Mission, for their meals, their devotions, and always making me feel welcome. When it comes to religion, I prefer the Ark, over a church because everyone that steps foot in the door is welcome, and are not singled out. As I have experienced in a local church.

Thank you to the New School of Colour, the artist that created the New School of Colour, and all the members. Even though I have experienced some drama with a member, it taught me to focus more on myself, and not to worry so much about other peoples problems.  I am thankful that the art program introduced me a long lost passion of mine, and sparked inspiration and motivation within myself.

Thank you to Leads, I have an awesome supportive case worker that hooked me up with a volunteer placement that I love, The Arts Project. Thank this case worker for helping me build on my strengths, and even work on my weaknesses.

Thanks to The Arts Project, of coarse, for giving me the experience and taking me on. My experience there has been helping me with my communication skills, I even did something I didn’t think I could do, the ever so intimidating leadership skills of training another. But they encouraged and believed I could do it, and I did. Yaaay!!

Thank you to my counselor who has been working with me one my anxiety, and how to cope with it. She is teaching me a new way to think, how to problem solve, etc.

Thank you to my friends that moved to Saskatchewan. They are so supportive, and have always believed in me.

Thank you to my friend Julie, she’s been amazing. Not only does she give me a safe space to chill out at, but if I run out of something, she’s there to help. If I need to talk, she’s there to listen.

Thanks to my friend, and fellow blogger from Montreal. You know who you are. Even from a distance, she’s still amazingly supportive.

Thanks First Nation Housing for providing a roof over my head, and being understanding about my current custody battle situation. Also thank them for the opportunity to be on the Board of Directors. I was a bit timid about it at first, but they’ve all been welcoming, and it’s nice to have a place where my opinion is valued and it is not getting me into trouble.

Thank my OW worker for helping and making sure I got my ducks lined up so to speak.

Thank Western University, NNEC, and even OSAP for the opportunity to return back to school. I am also thankful for the support I get within the university from the Student Success Centre and Indigenous Services.

Thank all those painful experiences in my past, it has made me stronger and wiser. It has helped me realize I deserve better, and to not settle for less.

Thank my family, the ones I choose to keep touch with. The family I’ve been adopted and accepted into, and biologically. Speaking of keeping in touch. Thank Facebook for keeping me in touch with those people. I even got in contact with my biological brother and sister whom I never met yet. Hopefully one day I will.

Thank friends and acquaintances that have made these last 2-3 years interesting. Wither it be inviting me over for kombucha, or dinner with your family, or chilling on your deck in the back yard, or even a random road trip.

I am thankful to be a part of the Idle No More movement, it has opened my eyes to other issues as well, such as Occupy, and I have met some amazing people that share the same thoughts and concerns I do.

Thank all my readers and fans that follow my blog, Twitter, Facebook, or even my website.

Thank all those who love my art, my writing, my photography, and whatever else I do.

I may rant quite a bit about some shit, but I do have a lot to be grateful for. I probably missed some things, places , or people. If so, do not take offense, I do thank you as well.

Miigwech, and much love. – Pooks

In the Mirror

So my ex told my daughter my favorite song is “No One” by Alicia Keys. Haha! Yeah I used to like that song at one point in my life. When I thought sticking up for him and lying to CAS was worth it. But then he turned around and did the thing he said he would never do, and that’s take off with the kids. I went through a “2 against the world phase”, and yeah, he proved to me otherwise. He clearly doesn’t know me anymore. So he’s the last person to be asking about anything regarding me.

And let’s face it, while I was with him, we only listened to what my ex liked majority of the time. I was a metal head before I met him, and I lost that while I was with him. Sure there’s the odd song in other genres that may catch my attention, but I love metal. I’m not a big rap, and r&b fan to be honest.

And quite frankly, now that I’ve have had time to reflect about it all. I don’t think my ex ever really knew me, and vise- versa. He was trying to change me to his likings, and I was trying to change him. Just one big unhappy mess.

It’s been three years, and he still has it in his head that I will return. It is more than obvious we are incompatible. And the fact when I go to these visits with my kids, and they are saying things that make it obvious that their father is stalking me online. Such as reading my blog here after all these years. Yeah, that’s not concerning at all! Ahem, sarcasm. Move on, I am, obviously.

So I think this post will be kinda like setting the record straight. Allowing my readers to get to know me a little. Even though you may have some kind of idea, if you’re one of my dedicated followers. So maybe I’ll try to write about the little things about me, stuff like current songs I actually DO like and what not.

My favorite song is Mission by Puscifer. Thanks to my eldest brother for introducing me to Tool, and Maynard James Keenan many moons ago. I think Maynard has one of the best vocals out there.

Other vocalists I like are Corey Taylor ( of coarse, I am a proud maggot.) , Jonathan Davis, Jack White (Both Jonathan and Jack have very unique voices), and Marilyn Manson. I can’t forget Ivan Moody.

Speaking of Marilyn Manson, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before. But I see him as more than just a musician. He’s an artist. Heck, he made himself into a work of art, and I admire that. He doesn’t just create art, he is the art. I think that’s genius!

I have become quite the fan of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden over the last 3 years. I’ve also ventured into punk, horror punk ( such as Blitzkid), rock ( Tom Petty, The Rolling Stones, etc). As for those odd artists in other genres that catch my attention, wither it be the odd pop or R&B. Blondie, Gwen Stefani, Pink, Alicia Keys ( Her new stuff. Not “No One.” That song just gives me bad memories of a place and time I don’t ever want to be again.)

I absolutely love the Xenomorph. For those that don’t know, that would be the Alien from the Alien series, created by H.R Giger. I find myself pushing my own art to try to get viewers to experience what I do when I look at the Xenomorph. It is dark, scary even, but there is something beautiful and fascinating about it.

Obviously, I love art. I think it all began with counseling as a child. My counselor asked me to paint. I painted a house, a rainbow, and a sun in the top corner. Even though I didn’t follow instructions, I was supposed to paint how I was feeling. I was a very angry , confused little kid. But I remember the joy I got from painting the picture. It wasn’t much, but I was quite proud of it. I don’t think I ever forgot what my counselor wanted me to do. To use it to express myself. I think I carried that with me ever since. I may not have done it during the session, but I sure did start to do so on my own.

I also remember, as I got older, I had an obsession of drawing flying dragons. I still love dragons.

My favorite animal is the tiger, specifically the Siberian Tiger.

I’m a Detroit Red Wings fan. My favorite player is Pavel Datsyuk. That’s my ninja on ice!

I’m a huge Sons of Anarchy fan. Not only do I go gaga for Charlie Hunnam, who plays the role of Jax Teller. But I respect Kurt Sutter as a writer. He is full of surprises, and you can never be too sure what to expect.

A very close friend of mine got me into Murdoch Mysteries, and documentaries. Shows that make you think, or are educational.

I love watching cartoons and animations. I used to wish I could be a cartoon, because they can literally do anything. Plus, cartoons are so happy, and silly.

My favorite colour is blue. It’s such a calm, chill colour.

I love the moon. I like going for ridiculously long walks, with no specific direction. Just kind of, get up and go. Each walk has something special to see I find.

I never used to be a fan of reading, until I picked up The Jester by James Patterson. Which is my favorite book, and now I’m a happy little book worm, and own 3 books written by James Patterson.

I like to write, obviously. I have this blog, I write poetry….I used to write stories too. But haven’t since my dad threw 200 pages worth in the garbage cleaning out my room years ago. Yeah, that was pretty devastating. I should have cleaned my room when asked. Damn. Anyway, now that I’m back in school, I will have to learn a new way to write, not so personal and emotional. But more professional. We’ll see how that goes.

I sing and dance when I’m by myself, or when I think no one is watching.

I used to be able to do a really good Eric Cartman impression, but lost that ability over the years.

I am fascinated by other languages and cultures. I know some words in Ojibwe, French and Spanish. Bits and pieces here and there. I can say good night in 5 languages. If I could, I would learn them all. Although I have trouble when it comes to rolling my “R’s”.

I absolutely love coffee. That’s a given, to anyone that knows me. As well as potatoes. I do love my potatoes, Fried, baked, mashed, stewed ,doesn’t matter. Potatoes are good!

I can bend one of my fingers far back the other way. So yeah, I’m double jointed in one finger. Haha!

I support Idle No More, Occupy, and I’m anti-Harper.  I also support causes that spread awareness on Domestic Violence, and abuse.

I think oil should be banned, and money should be forgotten.

I like summer festivals and events here in London, Ontario.

I love the E.O.A/ O.E.V community. There really are some positive things within it if you seek the positive.

Scents I like are lavender or vanilla. I love Bodycology’s Brown Sugar and Vanilla Body Spray.

I love to dress up. I love costumes and masks. Halloween is my favorite holiday.

I love photography. I’m quite the shutter bug. But that’s a hobby on hold until I can get a new camera.

I love things that are surreal. Such as the crazy things I dream about, or scenes you can see in the movie “The Cell.” Stuff like that. Alice in Wonderland…I found that Floria Sigismondi did an excellent job capturing that kind of surrealism in her photography, even in her music videos.

I also have a fascination for androgyny. Probably because I got mistaken for a male so many times in my life time. Haha!

I’m 31, and I still get ID’ed at convenient stores. Even when I went up to Red Lake, and I went to the bar with my Aunt, the bartender thought I was underage. Haha! I got good genes. Thank you to my Mama, Elizabeth King, R.I.P.

Anyway, I’m getting tired. That’s enough for today. I’ll probably post again on Thanksgiving and write up all the things I’m thankful for. Now you know a little bit more about me. Hope you enjoyed. – Pooks

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Scissors – Part 2

I think my last post was pretty shocking to some people. I’d see things on my Facebook newsfeed, comments like: “Why do things ppl say to others bug me when it’s not directed at me…I just want to stand up for them…only now a days even written words are a threat!! verbally, physically…is not tolerable!!!” Or quotes and about judgment, etc, etc.

Am I ashamed of my post, or similar ones to it? No. Those are very real thoughts, and emotions I felt at that particular time. Yeah, people get mad at me, such as my sister, the cock-eyed red head, my ex, they all say I’m just talking shit. But the truth is, their pissed off because I exposed a side of them they didn’t want anyone else to see. They have a supposed reputation to maintain, a false persona of what they pretend to be, and I somehow threatened it with my writing. They all want the public to view them all as “saintly” people and accuse me of making myself out to be oh so perfect and righteous. Haha! That’s a joke. I’ve been bluntly honest obviously. I don’t think an orgy, or other things I have shared in my blog qualify as “perfect” or righteous. My mistakes are very apparent, and it shows within my blog where I have times in my life where I’m like: Whoops! Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I point out my own mistakes, my guilt. Unlike these people, I am hiding fuck all. Minus the mushy stuff. I don’t blog about crushes, or any current intimacy. My love interests, or love life, will be kept private because I’m shy like that. Haha! Although, there is no current significant other, I am single. I am very fussy on who I’ll trust, obviously.

No, I don’t regret sharing what I have. There were times I questioned my writing. But no, I started this blog to share the thoughts in my head, I intend to keep it that way. As honest and real from my perspective.

Sure people pity my sister, after the things I’ve said. But I’m sure some of those people would think twice had I shared the fact that she has become racist. She doesn’t like white, or black people. When we were arguing she made this remark saying: “That’s so “white” of you!” Uhhh… What?! I’m not the only native here adopted into a white family. Who the fuck does she think she’s kidding?!

Of coarse I don’t want that hateful bitter shit in my life! And I’m not going to sit around and watch her teach her son this hateful shit either.

She’s so full of hate, anger, and negativity. Yeah, shit happened to her. Shit happened to me too. Difference is I seek help to change it. Her, my supposed mom, my ex, and the cock eyed red head are all too proud to seek help. Heaven forbid they do that. Their egos are so far up their ass, they think they don’t need to. They got this “they can solve it themselves” kind of attitude. Or, like my ex, just too damn stubborn to change. Yet, they keep repeating the same fuckin bullshit over and over. Umm.. yeah, clearly their way doesn’t work. Thank you all for showing me what not to do. Seeing my counselor is a step in the right direction. Breaking an abusive cycle is not something you can do on your own, nor is it something where you’re simultaneously better out of the freakin blue. That is not realistic, and the cycle is bound to repeat as I have witnessed and experienced with the 5 years with my ex. Ya know? Whenever I did let him back after kicking him out, things would be peachy for a short while, but it wouldn’t be long until he returned to being a total disrespectful jack ass.

No, everybody is not the same. You are not me, and blah blah blah. But when it comes to abuse, the cycle is very similar.  It can vary on how extreme the abuse.

Do I regret kicking these people to the curb? No! They clearly are not interested in change, and I am. So yeah, I’ll carry on without.

As for my ex, it’s been 3 years since he broke up with me and I agreed, we do not work. How mentally fucked do you have to be to still have this fairy tale in your mind that I will be returning?  It’s been 3 years, obviously I’m not.

During my visits with our kids they have been saying some strange shit. Such as “Dad says you’ll be moving in soon.” Each time, I have to let them down.  Considering the fact that he’s filling their heads with false shit is mentally abusive. Stop fucking with their heads!!  I know my haters are reading, so that is directly to you, my stubborn ex that clearly doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “No.”

Yeah, I would like joint custody, but since my ex still has this fucked up fantasy of my return, I’m beginning to think my counselor is right when it comes to having a safety plan in place.

Yeah, I struggle with trust I think that’s been made apparent. My sister says that I will be alone forever, like my mom. But honestly I think it’s the other way around with a shitty ass attitude. Yes, I have a small group of friends. I’m not Miss Popular, nor do I care to be. I don’t want fame or popularity. I just want to leave my mark in the world. Pooks was here! I’m not trying to impress anyone. What you see is what you get basically. I’ve always been this outcast, freak, misunderstood, awkward introvert. I accept it, I’ve grown to love it. Not to mention critical, and analytical. I need to think  about, and analyze everything. Including the people I allow into my life. You want to label that as judgmental, fine! I do it for my own safety and well-being. I believe I deserve better than to surround myself with abusive, negative, hateful, bitter people. That’s not a crime. So my standards have been raised. I got a better idea of what I want in my life, so for that I can thank them all. My supposed mom, my supposed sister, the cock eyed red head, an ex that killed the pit bull, and my ex who is the father of my children, thank you all!! You’re all a blessing, a painful blessing mind you, but still a blessing.

As for the people and their attempts to make me feel ashamed for sharing the things I share. I suppose you expect me to apologize that you find it offensive. I’m not going to. This blog is just a collection of thoughts. MY thoughts. You don’t like it? Who cares?! It’s not your head. Carry on with your merry life.

I apologize for the wait for the new post. I do try to do this weekly, but now I actually have a schedule to work around. Such as my classes, homework, my appointments (w/ my counselor, OW & Leads) , evenings I volunteer, New School of Colour, and of coarse my access with my children. I’ll post when I can. Please be patient. – Pooks

“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you’ll drift in that direction.” – Warren Buffett