The Grand Finale

Time to start thinking about what to write, this is my last blog post of 2014. I know, I promised a gratitude list, as well as a new years resolution…I’ll get to it.

I don’t really have much to write about if I write about this past week. I mean, I didn’t see my children for the holidays as I had thought I would. I thought I would see them on the 27th, and they would be over for the weekend. But yeah…holiday hours. Merrymount was closed. The exchange didn’t happen. So yeah, it was a very quiet Christmas. But I guess all that quiet time gave me an opportunity to be creative, in numerous ways. Not to mention, plenty of rest. I will see my children January 3ird though, and it will be awesome.

Now it’s time to show you what I have been doing. I’ll start off with a poem I wrote. Go to the link provided here if you’re interested in reading it. http://pooks82.weebly.com/pooks-poetry/see-with-your-eyes-closed

I also updated part of that website, the Photos of the Artist section, and added a Flashback Gallery. Which kinda gives you a glimpse into my past. You may notice a lot of the other faces have been edited and blurred out. But it’s symbolic in a way, bringing forth the neglected child into the spotlight. The only other person that is not blurred out would be my birth mother, Elizabeth King. My roots from which I came from. http://pooks82.weebly.com/photos-of-the-artist/flashback-gallery

I also did this painting that I called “Round Dance.” I attempted to do this abstract piece, that was experimenting with colour theory, mixing colours. The only colours I had to use were yellow and navy blue. Any variation in colour would have to be mixed between the two. So I was getting different shades of blue, and green. A lime colour, army green, even a greyish colour. It was very tedious trying to paint with the crappy brush I was using. My lines were getting sloppy, and for a perfectionist, that drives me insane! So I took it in a different direction, and added white paint. Painting with a bottle cap. I also added india ink, and let it drip freely as I flipped it around to get the ink moving. I recall using an old business card to swipe and swoosh with. You can kinda see my frustration in the piece. Haha! It turned out pretty cool though. Even though most of my green colours have been covered up by the layers. Some of the white paint mixed in with the india ink as it was drying. So watching the transformation was quite fascinating.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

” Round Dance.” All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

What else? Oh yeah. I take a lot of “selfies”, and have fun with photo editors. In this case, I played with this thought of meeting myself. The dark side of myself meets the light side of myself. Kinda like a Yin Yang image, but through a self-portrait. That was fun. Dress up one way, make up, hair, clothes, and what not for one shot. Then change again, different clothes, different make up for another shot, just to represent two sides of myself. I kinda wanted to capture that androgynous appeal I have as well. Then the magic begins. The photo editing and combining two separate images into one. The whole process must have taken me hours. But I did it. Voila! The masterpiece!

"So we meet again old Friend." All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

“So we meet again old Friend.” All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

So yeah, that kinda displays some of what I have been up to. On to a gratitude list. I’ll start off with I’m grateful for all this spare time I had to create whatever my lil heart desires.

Now for a 2014 review…

I am grateful for…

…. my children and their love.

.. Well I think it’s obvious, is for those friendships that have come and gone. It’s been an awakening, and made me more grateful for those that do stick with me throughout my journey despite whatever I think or say. Offensive or not. I’m also grateful that they don’t try to take advantage of my time, or hold me responsible for someone I am not even responsible for.

… soup, and potatoes. some of muh fave foods.

… Merrymount. At the beginning of the year my visits changed from 2 hours to 7 hours. Then they changed to weekends. Every third Friday is a 4 hour visit and exchanges are elsewhere. My ex and I did try to do exchanges on our own for a while, that didn’t work out because of trust and communication issues. So thank Merrymount for taking us back on, and keeping everyone safe.

… the time and experience I had volunteering at The Arts Project, and the Ark Aid Street Mission. The Arts Project surrounds me with the art community, and environment, I love it. As for The Ark, oh wow. Have I ever grown and changed a lot since I first attended that place. My perspectives have changed, especially towards those experiencing poverty and homelessness. I find myself defending the homeless to this day against judgement and labels. They too are people.

… running into people I have volunteered with, and they recognize me, and stop to say hi. That’s cool.

… my neighbors and the numerous times they’ve helped me out. Either shoveling my path, or helping me out with sugar or smokes. Even mowing my front lawn a couple times.

… all the art shows I got to be a part of. Most of those experiences wouldn’t be if it weren’t for Jeremy Jeresky. He’s like a manager that way to the New School of colour artists.  I guess he practically had to beg to get my painting into Up with Art 2014. Glad he did though, and it got in, because my art actually sold this year and it helped raise money for The Unity Project! Yaaaay!

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

…for all the people who have bought my art throughout the year. Including my “Brainwasher” oil painting. A painting that took me forever to complete.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

… silly moments where I can laugh at myself.

… that I am true and as honest I am. That I am as expressive as I am, even if some people get disturbed by it. I keep it real.

… Food Not Bombs. I enjoyed their vegan meals a few times this year. Including Christmas Eve, and before the Santa Clause Parade

… being adventurous and spontaneous. Halloween, what a freakin night! Haha! Having a blast with complete strangers.

… Completing the Intro to Sociology Summer Intermission coarse at UWO. Even with the anxiety. Kudo’s! Bravo! Bravo! At least I got away with one credit before I got the boot due to “mental health.” Nyeh nyeh! 😛

… writing a book! Which I had always dreamed of doing. A collection of my art, artist statements, poetry, blog posts, etc…all rolled into one. I might do a continuation on that.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

… water balloon fights with my children, and the other messy things we do. Get into food colouring…paint… walks through mud…Haha! They really bring out my inner-child. They bring out the best in me.

… all the summer festivals in London. Seriously, part of the reason why I love summer so much is because of the festivals and activities.

… the rain, and the numerous times I got rained on like a lil’ flower. Haha!

…the continuous learning. Even though I am no longer in school, I educate myself. And as I said before, there are places forming here in London, Free Schools, for the anti- capitalists, activists, anarchists, peace keepers, etc.

…being strong enough to dust myself off after that recent online Idle No More incident. I was feeling rather depressed, and losing faith in humanity. But like a long distant friend had said to me; “The world needs you.” Thank her for that. I’m not sure what for, but I do have a purpose here. My life is my message.

…My Leads worker. The workers I’ve had at Leads have all been amazing.

… my OW worker. Even though we got off to a rough start, I think we have gotten to a point where there’s respect. I think we understand better where we’re both coming from.

… my inspirations. H.R Giger, Salvador Dali, and a huge inspiration this year; Marilyn Manson

…being in touch with my biological family on FB. Apparently they are just as silly as me. It must run in the fam. Haha!

… the conservation areas in London. Sometimes it’s a nice getaway from the concrete jungle.

… for the days I do wake up early, and for those nights I do stay up late. It varies. I’m grateful for both.

… my numerous skills and talents. I’m not entirely sure how to incorporate them into society. But when it comes to creating for my own personal fun, I can do some amazing shit.

I’ll leave it as that for now when it comes to my gratitude list for 2014. I could keep going, but this blog post would clearly just go on and on. By doing that, I can see I had a pretty good year. Even if it did have some rough patches. I will make my 2015 awesome, wherever it takes me.

I don’t really have plans for New Years. I was supposed to be sitting here typing, but nope. I woke up early today and got an early start on this. I might go to a documentary film screening today around 5pm. That would give me something to do. But as for New Year celebrations…I don’t normally do anything.

My New Years Resolution…should be a goal that won’t lead to disappointment. Hm…To continue to become more Pooks, and what I think she is. Create more, write more, paint more, fight more for my beliefs and values, learn and grow more. That I believe I can do. So on that note, kiss 2014 good bye, and bring on 2015! I’m ready. – Pooks

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Saved this photo for the very end. The grand finale! Haha! All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

“With rebellion, awareness is born.” – Albert Camus

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Way to Represent!

So I guess I just need to get this out of my head regarding something that occurred online last night. It kinda makes me think that maybe I am not a part of any movement. I am my own entity, a lone wolf.

Apparently 50 flags have been stolen from the artist that created the International Indigenous Unity Flag. There was a status posted, and it was mentioned in the comments. The artist claims it was someone from Idle No More (Ontario) . Someone mentioned they would go speak up about it, and of course didn’t. So I did.

International Indigenous Unity Flag

I was shocked when I read that Idle No More is stealing flags from this artist. I support both. So I went and shared the news with the Idle No More – OFFICIAL public group, on Facebook, and expressed my disappointment. Why are we stealing from an artist that only wants unity?

The response I got was rather disturbing. I was just trying to get the movement to be aware of their actions.  What one of us does effects us all, because we are all one. But no, they could not grasp that. Instead they were focused on the “accusation”, and attacked me. They wanted exact details, names. An exact pin point on who to blame. So they completely missed what the fuck I was trying to say, and yeah, I think I have every right to call them dumb asses! Let’s neglect the part about the stolen flags, and focus on this “accusation” and attack. We are all held accountable damn it!

Anyways, speaking of accusations, while they’re busy saying I’m accusing them, they accused ME of being a sheep, a troll, a person just trying to divide the movement, and that I should go seek professional mental help. I even got labeled as one of “them” (a Capitalist). Are you fuckin kidding me?! Sorry I feel for the artist, and that I actually have some fuckin empathy!! They got down right cruel. Classic online bullying. Bravo! Way to represent Idle No More!

So excuse me if I am starting to think that maybe Idle No More isn’t the movement I thought it was. I mean, if they go attacking their own like that, not cool. They won’t get anywhere behaving like that.

I have been a supporter for over a year now. Matter of fact, I’m one of the only few members of Idle No More in London that actually does try to go out and do shit. Geez! If you only knew how many protests and rallies I’ve gone to wondering where the fuck is Idle No More?! Ughhh… It’s disappointing. Maybe people just like to say they are Idle No More, and not actually BE Idle No More. Just a bunch of dumb ass posers that aren’t actually aware, they’re just looking for a fight and it doesn’t matter against who.

Anyways, I didn’t really get much support from the artist either when this took place. Just a comment saying “I didn’t ask you to do that.” Well then, why the hell did you bitch about it in the first place?! I was defending him, his art, does he have my back? No. Thanks a lot.

If it wasn’t me that spoke up, somebody else would have took the heat and lack of support. But as an artist myself, who has had art stolen before, I can understand. So yeah, I’m going to say something! But since giving a shit blows up in my face, as always…

Fuck Idle No More. Fuck the International Unity Flag. I’m still against Capitalism, but maybe these movements aren’t my thing. I just kinda get alienated out of whatever social circle I get involved with.

For awhile there I was thinking fuck you all! Burn and rot for all I care! I hate people. I hate the world. But then I think of my children. They do deserve better, it’s just too bad there’s too many stupid fuckin cowardly slaves in this world. I’m kind of out numbered there, and it gets very frustrating to even deal with their ignorant stupidity.

I can’t really see Idle No More making any progress if this is how they treat each-other. So count me out. I seek solutions, not immature childish bullshit. And in that moment of time, I was spreading awareness of a situation. But no, they treat Idle No More  like a club where only certain people can be included.

I honestly thought I was one of them. I am an Ojibwe woman fighting for my culture, beliefs and rights. I fight for the land and water. I fight against Capitalism. But no, I’m not one of them, not according to them. Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll just do my own thing on my own. After all, Pooks is an alien. – Pooks

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

The Confusing Species

Happy Christmas Eve, or Happy Holidays..Happy whatever. Happy Another Consumer Holiday.

I find it funny how my blog day lands on Christmas Eve, and next week it lands on New Years Eve. So I guess you know what I’ll be doing for New Years…blogging. Haha! Life is so exciting.

During this very long ongoing period of time, which we call the holidays. Instead of running to the malls, I found myself doing the opposite. I was at home, cleaning. I figure, it’s about time I get rid of some shit. Less shit, less stress. And maybe the whole chore of cleaning won’t be so damn overwhelming due to having too much junk. Some of the junk I have been holding onto are representational of the past. A past I don’t want to remember. So why am I holding onto it? Time to throw it out. Unfortunately I am not donating. Many businesses are closed for the holidays, so yeah, off to the curb it goes.

I hope this cleaning will give 2015 a fresh, less cluttered, piece of mind for myself. The more spacious the environment, the less anxious the mind. That’s what I’m hoping to accomplish anyways. It’s a bit symbolic in a way. Out with the old, and on with the new beginnings.

I mean, I still have sticker charts from when I was in elementary school. Nuh uh. I don’t need to hold on to that. Time for keepsakes and whatnot from the next generation, my children.

My home is slowly turning into my daughters art gallery. I got her pictures she draws for me everywhere. That’s more like it. All her art on display. Yup. I’m a proud mama.

Other than that, during my breaks between rummaging what is now trash, and what isn’t, I’ve been watching documentaries about the human brain. Perhaps I’m just trying to understand my own brain, and how it works. Even though the human brain still remains a mystery, I find these documentaries interesting touching up on points such as how one of our biggest challenges is co-existing and communication with each-other in society. So I did some reading, and I read an e-book called Presenting an Effective Message which goes over a lot regarding communication, both written and face to face. I found that very informative considering I’m not exactly a master at face to face communication, even though a test result stated that I have the communication skills of a director/controller. Anyways, it gave me thought on some details I never really noticed before, such as the direction a person may be looking can give you an idea of what kind of communicator/learner they are, whether they prefer visual, auditory, or kinaesthetic.  Even certain words and phrases can give off hints on the form of communication to approach them with. So yeah, more stuff to observe and investigate myself. That’s exciting! 😀 Personal research and experimentation while I interact with the world out there. I am my own lab rat/ gerbil, throwing myself into a field of research and discovery.

Other than that, watching documentaries, cleaning, and reading, I attended a Food Not Bombs Vegan Christmas Eve Community Meal that was held at the East Village Arts Collective. It was a very good healthy meal. I didn’t really say boo, I just sat down and listened to what the others had to say, and I must admit it was really freakin interesting. Bouncing from topics about oil spills, Fukushima, Capitalism, radiation spills, radiation plants along the coast line ( yeah that is pretty dumb idea for whomever thought that up), Kevin O’Leary and his big dumbass mouth. Perhaps I’ll just share a clip of that if I can….

How ignorant and rude is that?!! But yeah, that was one of the  many things discussed.  Disgust. Yeah…Capitalism is disgusting, it kills.

Anyways, I am glad that there are places in London that people can gather and discuss shit over like this.

Food Not Bombs Vegan Christmas Community Meal at East Village Arts Collective - London, ON

Food Not Bombs Vegan Christmas Community Meal at East Village Arts Collective – London, ON

I guess there’s is also a Love and Rage Study Group that is held at the East Village Coffee House ( the home of my favorite coffee!) I’ve yet to attend. Sounds like they go over topics that would interest me. I think I’ll go to the next one, which won’t be til January 15th at 6pm. An open study group session looking at radical material  with a focus on feminist, anti-racist, and class struggle ideas.  That’s pretty cool. The formal educational system kinda pressures you towards Capitalism. So the fact that there are free schools forming to educate individuals that are like myself, anti-capitalist, that’s pretty awesome. Go E.O.A!! \m/ You make me so proud! 🙂

No gratitude list this time, sorry. Maybe I’ll have a gratitude list next time, along with a New Years Resolution, or whatever. We’ll see. Been kinda busy preparing for the weekend, for my childrens visit. As well as personal research regarding the brain, and communication. I don’t know. Just got curious out of the blue and thought I’d start looking into trying to understand myself, and others based on interactions and behaviors. We are a confusing species, that I cannot wrap my head around. I do not understand you. I do not understand me sometimes. Haha! But yeah, diving into that rabbit hole, it should be interesting. Maybe I’ll never understand. But I’m sure I’ll learn some interesting shit, as I’ve already begun to.

1 more minute and it’s midnight….any moment now….just a few more seconds to go….there we go! Merry Freakin Christmas! X-Mas! Happy Holidays, or whatever you celebrate.

I know not all people are happy and merry this time of year, but just remember, you will get through it. Everything is temporary.

Trust me, to me it feels like this week just keeps dragging on and on. Hence, I try to keep myself preoccupied. With that being said…my load of laundry should be complete, and another load can go in. Back to the chores. Thank you for reading! Much love! – Pooks

“Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.”- Isaac Asimov

Philippians

Okay. So I guess that time has come where I tell you what’s up in Pooks life lately. Although I was writing something else out on paper…but I’ll add that in later, after I summarize my week.

Yes, last week was a little rough. That shocking devastation on when you realize people you thought were friends, really aren’t. But let’s just keep moving forward. Thank my big sister, Arlene, for posting; “Today I look ahead and not back! And am not a prisoner to the past!” Of coarse there was a bible scripture attached; ” (Philippians 3:13) Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

Same thing, different words. Anywho, keeping that in mind. On we go. Haha!

I have this cute little story about an abandoned tree that found a home to share. I think I’ll just copy and paste an FB status,  the peeps on my FB may have already seen the story, but that’s okay. It’s really kind of sweet. I’ll just edit it a little bit so it makes more sense. It took place over the weekend during a visit with my children.

C360_2014-12-14-00-17-41-723After our dinner,  we found this cute fake tree abandoned on the curb during our walk, so we took it for a walk with us and brought it home. So instead of putting up my blue Christmas tree like always, we decorated this one. It’s a special tree, it has it’s own sweet story behind it that will just remind me of my son and daughter, and this night. My daughter and I made our own tree topper for it, rather than buying one. It’s a one of a kind lil angel. Lol I love it!” – Pooks

C360_2014-12-14-00-42-53-888 That was one of the sweet things that happened over the weekend. My daughter and I got crafty and made our own tree-topper angel out of coffee filters, and we even made snowflakes. My son was thoroughly impressed with our skills.

Anyways, on Monday I met up with a friend at Coffee Culture for lunch. We caught up, that was nice. And he surprised me with a baby poinsettia. Which I eventually placed beside my mini Christmas tree. Everything is so small and cute this year. Hehe!

Tuesday I was supposed to meet up with another friend, but I don’t think he got my message about meeting at 1pm instead. So we probably missed each-other. We were to meet at the Fire Roasted Coffee place in Wortley Village. I went, and they did have good coffee. It warmed me up for the walk back.

However, I did go to the Central Library where I did see other familiar faces, such as Dan Lenart, Istvan Sipos, and Jeremy Jeresky. Dan popped up behind me in the Library, while I was using a highlighter. He said hi, which put a smile on my face. Jeremy and Istvan were sitting out front of the Library in a booth called The Department of Gossip and Complaints. I was requested to photograph them, and put it up on FB. Done! Istvan noticed my pants, which were half red, and half black, like a jester!! Haha! Of coarse!! I looove Jesters! Thank you for noticing. 🙂  Newho…the picture of the Department of Gossip and Complaints.

B5ALhQpIYAAyBm_.jpg large

Istvan Sipos & Jeremy Jeresky, The Department of Gossip and Complaints

That’s a pretty good idea to engage with the people. Personally, I think they should try it again some time with The Department of Ideas and Solutions, and just kinda see what happens. I think gossip and complaints kinda focus’ on issues, on the negative. Although if they were to say try idea’s and solutions, it would get people think differently, use their imaginations, and the feedback may be more positive. Just a thought. I’m not criticizing, it’s just an idea branched off their idea, what they’re doing is great. Just maybe…they can take it even farther.

Newho, that is their project. Do with it whatever they may. It’s a good way to find out what’s going on, because I believe the best news source are the people that live it. So yesh, absorb all that info you little sponges!! Lol I know, I’m freakin weird.

Shortly after I took that pic,  sitting at a table set up beside them was this religious dude, that thought he could preach to me about god. What is it about me that makes these people automatically assume I need saving? What if I think they’re the ones that need the saving? Hm? Newho, I find that pretty damn judgmental. It must be my “Misfit” tuque. Perhaps it translates to them as “sinner”. Haha! I don’t know. Newho, he only wanted to talk to me for 4 minutes but I declined, and nodded my head “no”. I really wanted to go out for a smoke. However, I think my mischievous little  smile made him smile regardless. I’m contagious like that. Haha! No words need to be spoken, the smiles enough. Before I left, he said “God loves you.”

Wednesday…today. I was searching up and down throughout this house for my court agreement giving the exact details on the schedule. I did not find it. I think I only found page 3. I did call my lawyers office, and Merrymount to e-mail me a copy, and now I can say that I no longer have to stress over it. It has been e-mailed. So tomorrow I will definitely print that out and head over to the Salvation Army Christmas Hamper thing.

The reason I won’t go without that court document is because I was given a hard time in the past by them, for only having access and not custody. Even though I still only have access, and not custody. It might go differently this time. Back then, my visits were under supervision. Now, I see my kids on weekends, I have them over on weekends. Not all. There are those 4 hour visits on Fridays in between. But still. I see them every weekend. So I should be eligible.

I have a friend that knows the manager, and said she would come with me in case I run into any problems. That’s so sweet of her.

Since I was distracted looking for these papers, I was late for my Leads appointment today. Instead of going over empathy we talked about other things. Which eventually led to my worker wanting to help get my status card re-newed, and apply to get my children’s status cards. That’s cool.

I kinda need to update my status card, it expired last year…or the year before. Whatever. It’s expired. Newho, why do I need it? If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been wearing the same pair of glasses for the last 3 years. I think I’m due to visit my optometrist. I have new frames, they just need my prescription lenses.

These are the frames that need the prescription lenses

These are the frames that need the prescription lenses

Although, it’s scary, every time I go, my optometrist says I might be getting closer to a time where I’ll need laser eye surgery.  My eyes are pretty bad without my glasses. I’m a blind little bat. Thankfully my eyes haven’t worsened the last time I got my eyes checked, and hopefully they didn’t get worse since then. The thought of laser eye surgery makes me cringe. One little fuck up and my sight is gone!! As an artist and a writer that is terrifying.

Newho, I feel very fortunate to know the people I do. To have the connections I do. To have people that want to be there to help and support. Which brings me back to what I had written down on paper and was originally going to post. A blog post focusing on gratitude.

I am grateful for… – not being afraid to express myself. I’m not afraid to be me. I don’t have to walk on glass, put on a show, and pretend just to impress others. I am grateful for being very honest, and true to myself. Perhaps being the “crazy artist” reduces the fear.

– my morning coffee. Obviously!! Coffee addict here! 😛

– those wondrous moments when I gaze up at the sky, the moon and the stars

–  those rare walks in the fog

Burwell Street, London,ON. Photo taken by moi!

Burwell Street, London,ON. Photo taken by moi!

– meals and coffee with good company

– curiousity

– the acceptance of friends and family, no matter what my opinion or perspective may be

– intelligent friends that can discuss ideas rather than childishly  gossip about people.

– the roof over my head, and the food I eat.

–  my children and the time I have with them

– being woken up on weekends to my daughters smiling face

– being able to make the best of, and have fun wherever I am with my children. It doesn’t matter where we are. We make it fun.

– exploring creativity with my daughter doing arts and crafts B4yKF6tCMAAk5uW – getting my exercise chasing my children around in a game of Tickle Monster/ Hide N’ Seek

– being accompanied during my walks by my children, and sharing that love of walking and exploring.

–  being silly, and making others laugh. Especially my children. Their laughter is my favorite. ❤

– laughter

– empathy, even if I do tend to care too much

– Leads, The Arts Project, New School of Colour, The Ark

– waking up to a new day with many possibilities!

That’s all I had written down so far. I’m sure I can think of more for next week. Thank you for reading! Love and hugs! – Pooks

“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”

– Shannon L. Alder

Altering Out of the Blue – Part 2

More writing…because I am thinking over what happened as of recently.

I am disturbed by this now ex- friend’s rejection, ignorance, and lack of support. Quite honestly that hurts. There’s 2 sides to every story and clearly mine isn’t valued. My perspective of the situation, my thoughts, she clearly doesn’t give a fuck about. Ouch.

pixelpic

I am a very honest person. I gave a clear warning numerous times; If I haven’t offended you yet, give it time.

I guess she can’t support 2 friends, she can only support one. Wow, that is fuckin bullshit. She was supportive to both me and the person I referred to as the cock-eyed red head when we had our issues….kinda. In a cowardly way. Sitting on the fence….not really supporting either. Although, she said she just tolerated this other person, and didn’t really like her. So maybe the same applies with me. Hm, weren’t we fuckin stupid? This whole friendship was just a charade, it’s fake. And unfortunately like a fool, I fell for it. I mean, if she can fake it so well with this other person, whose to say she wasn’t just pretending to be a friend to me? Just “tolerating” me, and not really liking me. She’s not the type of person to say that to your face, because she is in deed a coward. Instead, she’ll gossip behind your back amongst her “friends”. I was there when she gossiped about others. So yeah. It’s kinda like that thought I had a long time ago regarding my ex and his thief life style. About how stupid I am for not thinking a thief wouldn’t steal from me. The same can be applied to this little group of gossipers. Pretty stupid to think a gossiper wouldn’t gossip about me.

I’m not a part of their circle. “The Cock-Eyed Red Head”  isn’t a part of their circle. Perhaps it’s a circle not worth being in.

It’s funny, because last month I was warned not to sit at that table by someone this ex-friend dislikes, her boyfriends ex. Considering how many people dislike that girl, ya know? She may have been right. I’m sure that little group is talking now. They got new material, me! Yaaaay!

I’m not as upset as I was Tuesday, and yesterday. I’m starting to get over it. Writing does help. Friends like that probably are better off not keeping around anyways. The ones worth keeping are the ones that stick with me throughout my journey. They don’t deak just because they’re offended. I mean, my perspectives have changed towards religion, and I still have two Christian friends that love me anyways. Even though they are distant, as in a completely different province, they’re still there. And trust me, I’ve said some shit that would probably offend a lot of the religious type. I have offended some of the religious type obviously, heck, I had a pastor use my blog as material for sermons. Haha! Pooks, you genius.

A lot of my support isn’t local. For example, the Kings, my birth family. I’m in touch with them online. They’re more supportive than the family that I actually do have here. My Uncle through adoption, in Quebec. Huge support from him. He is a Pooks fan, and hopes to one day own an original painting done by me. Hopefully some day he will.

I guess in times of loss, you just need to keep in mind of the people who are there. Who have been there, supporting, and haven’t left over stupidity.  Nor do they hold my  thoughts and feelings against me.

I have however, come in contact again with an art friend, who challenges my thinking. Not necessarily holding my thoughts against me, but more like trying to get me to broaden my horizons. It’s encouraging. It’s not a negative, if anything a positive, to think even deeper than I have been.

Making friends isn’t exactly easy for me. It takes me a long time to open up and trust people. Sometimes I feel like I am shown more reasons on why not to trust, than reasons why I should trust. I take a lot of time to listen and observe, and try to make sure that I am secure with whomever I am associating with, and my surroundings. However, I can clearly still be deceived. That bothers me. I disappoint myself that way. I should be more alert, and aware.

Yesterday at my Leads appointment, we were talking about empathy. Apparently I care too much. Although, I am told not to be ashamed of it, it is a rare gift. Sadly not many people are empathetic these days. So yeah, it is a blessing and a curse. I get hurt way too often. I am hurt by things outside of myself. Hurt by things happening to other people.  I see and notice things that maybe most people are too naive or ignorant to even notice is happening.

Anyway, next week, I am going to learn how to “control it”…if that’s even possible. We shall see.

I’ve always said I was very in tune with my emotions. That’s just the tip of the ice berg of how to describe it. I am sensitive to energy. Which is why I normally try to avoid the negative energy, because when I absorb it, I tend to feel like a kettle ready to boil over. Not very pleasant. So it’s got to somewhere, because it’s dangerous. Hence, my art. It’s a good place to put whatever the fuck I absorb.

I need genuine optimistic people in my life. That’s what I need. Not the fake ones that say they are, pretend they are, then go surrounding themselves with toxicity. Manipulated into pity parties like a remote to a t.v. Nope, I am not a part of that. I’m not so easily controlled in that sense. Nor am I blind to it. But maybe some people are addicted to that kind of mind fuck. I don’t know. Not allowed to play with this one, sorry!

Anyway, this journey only goes forward. And as much as I may wonder, where is this journey  taking me? That is a silly question. The journey is taking me to my death. So I need to make the best of the ride in between. The pain will mold and prepare me for whatever comes next. I will just get stronger. So thanks and cheers to the pain! Transitions are never easy. – Pooks

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”- David Richo

Altering Out of the Blue

I know that it was suggested that maybe I should write about the police brutality going on in the world. But yeah, everybody else is doing that. Heck, it’s all over FB. And this blog is for the people that actually want to know what goes on in my head. So yeah, I’m gonna write about whatever the fuck I want. Whatever comes to mind. If you don’t approve, tough shit. These are my thoughts, and I take full responsibility for them.

It seems like a lot of these supposed suggestions or constructive criticism, if you want to call it that, just kind of belittles what I’m doing. Note, I don’t take criticism lightly. I tend to take things personally because I analyze and think over what has been said after the fact.  How does this criticism make me feel afterward? Do I feel good about it? Lately… no. That is not the case. My art for example, you “should” paint it like this. You can’t see what I envision in my head so stop trying to take control and power over my shit, and worry about your own shit. That includes this blog. That’s like telling me what to think, because that’s what this is basically, a narration of my thoughts.

It seems like people try so hard to be the one to direct me. Maybe you can’t. Maybe I’m just too fucked up. I don’t know. I think it’s insulting. And if they’re not doing that, they’re trying to do so discreetly, by using my blog as their form of resource. These are my thoughts, fuck off will ya?! It’s not illegal to think, so stop acting like it. Live your own damn life. Geez! It’s like the people that try to do this, are often people that don’t even have their own life in order. So yeah, fuck off!

Dark Pheonix - Artist Unknown. / I chose this picture just because it kinda depicts how I feel sometimes. Kinda like the Pheonix's rage from X-men, an enormous amount of energy. - Pooks

Dark Pheonix – Artist Unknown. / I chose this picture just because it kinda depicts how I feel sometimes. Kinda like the Pheonix’s rage from X-men, an enormous amount of energy. – Pooks

Anyway, onto other drama, yesterday at The Ark, I sat down for dinner with a group of friends. At least I thought they were my friends. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I haven’t really been considered a part of their group for awhile now. I don’t know. Anyway, I was sitting there talking to the guy beside me as he showed me his electronics. And the woman in the scooter that has been going to The Ark for years now, she was showing her craft stuff. So I started shooting off ideas. Making suggestions of possible future projects she could do. If anything, I was just trying to inspire her. And what does she do?? Oh everybody is too fuckin happy, time to cry and make it a pity party focused on her. And she snaps at me. What the fuck? I sure as hell didn’t deserve that. That was uncalled for. And if you ask me, I think she’s a manipulative, controlling, cunt. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It’s like I can’t laugh around her. If I make others laugh, she will turn it into a moment where it’s about her. A time to be sad for her. I cannot stand that. I cannot stand people like that. So yeah, I got up, skipped my meal, and left the table. Fuck her bullshit!

You’d think she’d be happy for her friends are happy. Nope. Not her. That’s not allowed. You can only be happy when she’s happy. And I hate seeing my friends joy and laughter be robbed like that. But I guess that’s what they prefer. Good riddance then.

Today, I seen that someone I thought was a friend of mine since 2011 deleted me off of Facebook. Thanks, that says a lot of what kind of friend you are. So I deleted every picture I ever took of her over the years, and blocked her and her little group of friends, and her boyfriend. Obviously, I’m not a part of that group. Thanks for letting me know. Don’t I feel fuckin stupid for ever thinking I was?!

I don’t think I did anything wrong. But clearly Ducky seems to think so. I mean yeah, I expressed my frustration on FB regarding this other woman, not mentioning any names. I believe I’m allowed to do that. But once again, I’m shown, oh no no no, I’m not. Not like many people knew what the fuck, or who the fuck I was talking about. I guess it was too offensive for her pathetic sensitive little eyes, even though it’s not directed at her. Fuckin pathetic. It’s regarding this other woman she’s friends with, that clearly has a problem with me. I can’t do shit with out her bitching and complaining about it. But whatever, she supports this other friend, and not me, that couldn’t be made anymore apparent.

So the Christmas ritual is out of the question, that thing we did for a couple of years now. Gathering around Christmas for dinner, I am out. I’m not gonna go. Why go somewhere and celebrate with a fake ass friend? She’s more supportive to this manipulative bitch, then she is towards me. So yeah, fuck her. Fuck their Christmas dinner, Fuck going to the Vendors Fair at EVAC to support her craft shit. My Ducky shrine is going in the trash. If you can easily turn your back on a friendship like that, then yeah, your shit is trash to me.

No point in keeping in touch with Ducky’s circle of friends. No need to make it awkward for anyone else. So yeah, good-bye.

I have trouble maintaining friendships as is. This whole socializing thing is like a crash coarse to me. Note I was isolated majority of my life. So excuse me if I notice shit, and don’t understand why you do what you do to each-other. There is a reason I call myself an alien. I observe, and wonder what the fuck?! Or maybe I just like people less and less, I don’t know. I don’t like the controlling type, I don’t like the manipulative type, I don’t like people that just try to take advantage… I don’t like needy, selfish people. I prefer no restraints, especially after getting out of two  abusive relationships, one followed by another. Probably why I haven’t moved on into a new intimate relationship. I flat out don’t trust people. How the fuck can I?!

And that’s the thing…when I look at the bigger picture, it’s like 99% of the worlds population is being abused by the 1%. Now I already know that you cannot force someone out of that kind of “relationship”. Been there, tried that, on a more micro personal level. Doesn’t work. The person, or people, in this case have to be ready and willing. And unfortunately, a lot of the people are too scared to rise up. They fear the “consequence”. They fear the change. So yeah, majority of the population are cowards. They’ve been scared shitless by the people in power, all they do is hide in their homes.

That may be another thing. I have been changing over the years, I think my perspectives have altered in a way where I have been socializing more with activists that share the same concerns. So, maybe I have been drifting away from that circle of “friends”, and moving onto …something else.

This journey, wherever the fuck it’s taking me, can get pretty damn lonely sometimes. People don’t understand where the fuck I’m coming from. And even though I do feel alone sometimes, I know there are other people out there that can relate. It can feel hopeless and depressing at times.

I understand now that I am not the only one that experiences anxiety and depression by the outside world. It’s only natural to feel that way being forced into a system that only benefits the wealthy. The wealthy will try to stigmatize that, only because we aren’t delusional believing in their false illusions of their made-up world. We can see shit for what it really is. So the way I see it, there is nothing wrong with us, there is something wrong with them. They fooled themselves into thinking that this is the way it’s meant to be, and we are realizing that it’s bullshit.

You want me to rant about cops when I have not had any personal experience?! Thank goodness. Let’s hope that never happens, especially the way things are going, or have been going longer than we realize. All I have to go by is what you tell me, and the shit load of disturbing videos I see on FB. It’s a bit of a conflict for me. My Uncle was a cop, and yeah, I should be proud of that. But when I see that the majority of the people being beaten or killed by the police are people of colour, that tends to make it difficult to be proud of my Uncles past employment. He is retired now. But it just makes me think. How long has this been going on? Does it just seem more regular because of how easily things can spread worldwide through the web these days? I don’t think so. Something tells me this has been going on for longer than we think, we just weren’t as aware. Why is it the moment these officers put on a uniform, they forget that they too are human as well? Their just doing their job, right? The shit people do for money is stupid. Forget humanity, compassion, and empathy, leave your heart at home. Seriously, the shit all over social media of our officers not protecting and serving the people, more like beating and killing the people, is disturbing , discriminating and shouldn’t go on ignored. Why is it legal to do this? Why do cops get away with beating women, and men? Better yet, why do they get away with murder?

It’s that fuckin delusional division of social classes again. The higher you supposedly are, the more you get away with apparently. Money. I fuckin hate that shit. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t make you any better or privileged than any other human being. Get over yourselves, you fuckin nut cases! You’re still a human being, like it or not. You are as human as the next coloured person you see, the next homeless person you see, the next child, elder, gay, straight, female or male, so on and so forth You’re not that different. You do however have your own unique gift to offer to the world, but thanks to this fucked up system, you’d be lucky to even share that because you’re a slave to that selfish 1%. You allow them to continue to use, and abuse you for their own benefits.

As for the police uniforms, they seem to symbolize power, and yeah, officers are getting carried away and abusing that power. Maybe we should strip them and remind them they are human. But that idea probably would get people arrested for sexual assault, and the message wouldn’t get through. So screw that. It’s just a thought. And now it’s out there. Maybe it’ll get some of these people to actually think for a change.

But then again, as a native woman, it seems as though that I can’t trust the police, especially if that’s the way they are going to treat people of colour. I can’t trust doctors (they’ll accuse you of being a crackhead, when you really have a breast infection, and call C.A.S on your ass. That is a personal experience.), I cannot trust C.A.S ( Modern day residential schools if you ask me. Taking children away from their native roots) , the churches, the educational system, or any organization within the system. They are not here for me, they’re against me. At least, that’s what I have come to understand.

Newho, Getting sidetracked… I know, people would rather read about my personal life, rather than what i see out there. Whatever. I’m gonna write about whatever. And it will probably bounce around from thought to thought, because that’s just how my mind works. Deal with it.

With my efforts to socialize, and make friends, I struggle with the drama of other peoples lives. I don’t burden people with mine, but I guess not all people are like that. I don’t want my friends to suffer because I am suffering. I’m the kind of person that would rather make an effort to make people laugh, despite whatever fuckin shit I may be going through. That’s for me to figure out. And people say I’M SELFISH?! HA!! Maybe they need to look up that definition again.

So yeah…more bridges burned. Can’t really say I am the least bit surprised. I should be used to it by now. People come, and people go, as always. Very few stick around.

I’m not exactly the most popular, well liked person. I tend to make a lot of enemies at a rapid pace. Popularity was never my intention anyways. Although this identity as Pooks (the writer and artist) seems to be becoming well known more and more. Thank you by the way. I didn’t really think I was that interesting, but for some reason people read this, and follow.

So yeah, another shift in life. Wondering who the fuck really are my friends? And who isn’t? Some proven not to be. Thank you for that. Life has a funny way of altering out of the blue. – Pooks

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It’s all New

Hello again.

It’s been an interesting week I guess. Not only that, but for awhile there I was in this odd routine that was slightly off. Ya know? Almost right, but not quite regarding my sleeping schedule. For the past week or so I have been falling asleep earlier, and waking up at 4:30am. I’ve been loving it though. Actually being awake in the morning. In a way, it feels like my day is a bit longer. Like I bought myself time somehow. Especially since I was a night owl normally going to sleep at 4:30am, and waking up god knows when in the afternoon. So yes, the change is quite nice, although today I slept in til 6:30am. I think that’s more closer to the average person. That was just one of those things I wanted to tackle, my sleep schedule, and voila! It kinda worked out on it’s own. Sometimes I set my alarm, but I normally wake up on my own without it bright and early lately. As for staying up late, it would be amazing if I can stay awake past 11pm.

What else? Punctuality was something I also wanted to work on personally, and I’ve been surprising myself lately. Being on time for appointments, rather than late, and walking to my appointments rather than taking the bus. Strange how my own two feet are more reliable timing wise than a bus. But then again, that’s the fun part of being a pedestrian, you can take short cuts that vehicles can’t exactly. While they travel in a grid format, I can wonder on a diagonal.

At my last Leads appointment, we were going more over communication, and assertiveness. I admit, when it comes to the assertive part, it has been a struggle. It’s a trigger. In my mind, it’s like being assertive will lead to an assault. It signifies danger, and putting myself in danger. It’s happened a number of times before with the ex, my supposed mom… Some people just can’t take the word “no” for an answer. Or any opposing opinion or perspective for that matter. My worker told me that not all conflict is a negative, and that conflict can lead to progress. Something to think about. I normally just try to avoid it. Shut it out…walk away…

I re-connected with an art friend. She too had some things for me to ponder about lately. She was sharing her wisdom as a parent, a woman, an artist, and she’s another who has survived abuse… Anyway, she told me something that I’ve yet to wrap my head around when it comes to these abusive people I encounter in my life. “Love the person, deal with the behavior.”

So maybe it’s not the person I hate. It’s their behavior. Makes sense. But it is hard to see who they really are as people if they are behaving so… cruel. You kind of just think, that’s the way they are. No, that’s a choice they made on the way to behave. Although when it comes to my ex, that is a very conscience choice. He admitted he attacks people psychologically. He’s aware of the damage. I guess the only thing that can be done for that kind of behavior is to not acknowledge it. So he’s gonna talk shit amongst his friends, let him. It’s not like his friends know who the fuck I am anyway, so their opinions of me are entirely irrelevant. So is my ex’s, his idea of who I am is back ass-wards. And he can’t blame my family(they’re not in the picture), or his family ( they’re not in the picture either) this time around because there’s just him and his big mouth.

Anyway, love the person, not the behavior. The person…he’s actually quite nerdy, funny sometimes, quiet, and insecure. He’s 6’1”, but he pictures himself much smaller. Sometimes I think he’s stuck mentally as a 12 year old boy. The behavior, his ego. Acts all macho, power-trips when things don’t go his way…It’s like he thinks that being an asshole = testosterone. Like he needs to be an asshole in order to be “manly”. Maybe he picked up that behavior from his gay step dad who was probably in denial of being gay at the time. I don’t know. It’s a possibility. Anyway…trying to understand it, and divide the two… this is the person I will have to co-parent with, even if he is difficult to communicate with.

I like the analogy my Leads worker used, some people are like tantruming 2 year olds, there is no getting through to them.

I did change my phone number, cutting contact with my ex that way. I think he abused that privilege. My number was given to him in regards of our kids, and emergencies. I was getting text messages about a hooker harassing him. Getting accused of stealing from him, and tampering with his property… Overall, just harassed, verbally and psychologically abused. So, if you’re going to be an ass, no, you don’t deserve my number. If he has something to say to me, pass it through Merrymount. That is what they are there for. Returning to Merrymount was his idea, and is becoming quite beneficial to me actually. So thank you. Especially since my ex has it in his head that he can continue to abuse me. No, we’re over. Pooks and “Mogley” ( Nigel, Caski, whatever name he wants to go by) ended years ago. There is no going back, and there might not be a friendship to salvage. But for the kids sake, they need 2 parents that can work together cooperatively and be civil in their presence. So in that sense, he needs to grow the fuck up. It’s not about him, me, or us, it’s about them. Get used to it. He is no longer on the pedestal, they are!

Anywho, enough about him. It’s gonna take a while for me to divide him, from his behavior. He is not his behavior. Convincing myself that may take some time. I have this thought of that common quote; Actions speak louder than words.

Anyway, I am fortunate to have the people I do in my life. Some with more knowledge and experience.

Awhile ago, I retweeted a quote; The wisest men follow their own direction and listen to no prophet guiding them. – Euripides. Someone had responded with; Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22) . My reaction was to repel it due to my anger towards religion. I feel it has only caused more suffering and damage in this world. But I guess you don’t  fully understand something, until you live it. I do have a lot of support, it’s not like I am alone. And maybe some guidance is necessary from those whom have lived similar circumstances so that I don’t go repeating the same mistakes. In other words, guidance can help you to try something else, something new. It can open your mind to new ideas that may be useful. So not to go totally trashing the Bible, perhaps there’s some value in it. Not all, obviously. It is a very pro-violence, discriminating book towards homosexuals, women, race, and people of any other faith. I support unity, and the bible, and/or religion, encourages the division of the people, and rather then accepting people for who they are, they try to conform them. No bueno!

Anywho, what else? Monday was the New School of Colour. There will be one more session, then it’s closed for the holidays. It’ll re-open the second week of January. I am typing this so that I will remember this as well.

This past Monday was interesting, Ducky was was trying something called water painting. Although, she will need enamel paint, since her attempts with acrylic and oil didn’t quite turn out as she had hoped. She may or may not be able to afford the supplies herself, so if you can help, we, at the New School of Colour, are always in need of supplies.

http://www.newschoolofcolour.com/donate.html

She is thinking about submitting it into this years Twitter Art Exhibition in Norway. I participated last year. It’s a good way to get your art out there in other parts of the world, and support a worthy cause. Last year, the fundraiser was for a Contemporary Dance Studio who gives dance classes to the disabled. I remember being quite proud to be a part of it. Wither my art sold or not, my art got to travel! Yaaay! 🙂 This year it will be for families in need of homes. I hope to participate again. Ducky said she would find out how much it will cost to mail a post card sized art piece to Norway, and get back to me with that info. Probably more than it was to mail something to Florida I’m guessing. But yeah, if she’s participating, yaaay! That might make 2 of us New School of Colour artists!

Umm…what else? Fred’s new Medieval Times painting is quite humorous at the New School of Colour. I say so because he is painting the New School of Colours facilitator in prison. Why would you paint Jeremy Jeresky in a prison? It is a funny painting though. Newho, Jeremy said he should be painted as a jester, which is interesting. Why a jester? He knows I love jesters. Hmmm….  Jesters are cool mind you. Happy to see someone else can see that too. Or maybe I’m just spreading the love and appreciation for jesters. They are quite awesome! Don’t be deceived by their appearance, they may look and act foolish, but they are powerful.

Shaco. The Demon Jester by jsuursoo .  Source: http://jsuursoo.deviantart.com/art/Shaco-The-Demon-Jester-332686333

Shaco. The Demon Jester by jsuursoo .
Source: http://jsuursoo.deviantart.com/art/Shaco-The-Demon-Jester-332686333

Besides that, my home is currently….under construction so to speak. Today there is supposed to be someone coming by regarding this mice issue, that my ex threatened to report as a health hazard. Also saying his friends are encouraging him to call C.A.S. Which would be stupid to get them back involved considering we just closed an 8 year case…but that’s besides the point. His friends have no say. They don’t know me, they never entered my home. So they can shut their holes. Fuck his stupid addict friends and whatever they say. Yes, there’s mice, but I am on it. It is an old house, and I kind of understand why everybody else on this street owns a pet. The vents here aren’t the small little vents, they are big enough for mice to access. I believe their form of entry was my basement. I tried this sound frequency thing, which only works temporarily. Stupid things come back. I’ve searched for this peppermint oil, which is only available online. I guess mice really hate the smell of it. I was looking for natural, less harmful ways to deal with them. But as a last resort, pest control it is, and they can do whatever they do.

I was supposed to have this house cleaned up, but my furnace is down. So half of my house is freezing freakin cold, and the other half, thanks to the electric fire place (friends gave me before they moved to Saskatchewan) , and 2 heaters (lent to me by First Nation Housing Co-op) is now kind of comfortable. I no longer need to be bundled up in my outdoor gear and blankets.

A new furnace will be installed tomorrow. So yeah. I kind of need to stay put for awhile. Hopefully everything will be all good to go for this coming weekend, I have muh babies coming over!

I will need to move some furniture around so that the people installing the new furnace can easily get through to the basement with their equipment and what not. Meaning…I have to move the couch. Things will look a little chaotic here for a while. But that gives me Friday to get it all back in order, so to speak.

Friday, that reminds me… I am volunteering at The Arts Project that day for an event called Blast. For those that are unaware, Blast = Artists unite. It’s basically an event to get local artists networking and creating together. I think it’s a pretty cool idea. Admission is free. Although if you want beverages from the bar, you’ll have to pay for that. The hours of the event go from 4:30pm – 7pm on December 5th. So if you’re in London, ON, check it out! Mingle with your fellow artists. Maybe I’ll see you there. I’ll be the ninja in black, ahem, I mean, volunteer floater greeting at the door. Haha!

I got a couple things to ponder…regarding life. My life.

It kinda reminds me of what my Leads worker said, my time is valuable, I decide what I am going to do with it, not anyone else.

I feel like it’s expected of me to be greedy, competitive, and want more I guess. That’s the social norm. To capitalize. But like I said before, I am happy volunteering, writing this blog, and creating art. Even if I’m not getting paid. I don’t value money like everyone else. That’s not important to me. What’s important are the lives I touch, and the message I leave behind.

A friend of mine suggested that more pictures need to be put into this blog. Just some constructive criticism. Maybe some people need more visual stimulation, I don’t know. So if you notice more images lately, that’s why.  I’ll give it shot, and give credit where it’s due. Not all images are mine.

This friend has also critiqued my art. Making suggestions of how to paint my current painting. I am putting it to use, regarding colour, and noticing a huge difference, especially when shading with opposites. I’m still gonna use titanium white so that my paint is more opaque. Translucence is not exactly what I’m aiming for at the moment. Although, I am still working on the background which isn’t going to be the center of attention in this picture. I may attempt her translucent glazing idea on the “Tree People” in the foreground. I think that’s where the technique she suggested will be more useful. Although, it does sound like a more time consuming process, especially with oil paint. Layers and layers and layers. It wouldn’t be the first time a painting of mine has taken me a long time to complete. It might make the center of focus stand out in the picture. Which is what I want. They need to look warm, alive, and be the focus. So probably more detail and contrast on them. Thank her for broadening my horizons when it comes to colour and light. I need to try to keep my mind open to new things, new perspectives, and ideas.

My work in progress. The next oil painting to be. Not a current picture of shading the orange shapes w/ it's opposite colour. It has improved since this shot. - Pooks

My work in progress. The next oil painting to be. Not a current picture of shading the orange shapes w/ it’s opposite colour. It has improved since this shot. – Pooks

Newho, I had quite a bit to write there. It’s turning into my next book. Haha! I’ll end it there. Thank you for reading. Love and hugs! – Pooks

“Be open to new thoughts, to new people, to new principles, to new ideas, to new experiences. “NEW” MAKES US GROW”- Rossana Condoleo

"I am art." - Pooks

“I am art.” – Pooks