Hello. I’ve decided I’m going to type out part of my blog today, save it as a draft, and then add to it more later. I just want to write some things down before I forget.
So last weekend, I had my visit with my children on a Friday for 4 hours. I was late, but I felt that I needed to let the puppies out once more before leaving the house.
Anyways, we went to the dollar store, and picked up some flashlights, glow sticks, and my son wanted those silly glasses with the googly eyes. We wanted things that lit up since we planned to walk in the nearby conservation area, and with the sun going down, we needed some kind of light source.
It was a short walk, my daughter got spooked by the possibility of coyotes, and her brother started talking about ghosts and monsters. However, time kinda flew that day, because afterwards we planned on going to a park, and my alarm went off on the way there. I have an alarm that goes off at 7:30pm to notify us that it was time to head back to Tim Hortons (which is the pick up and drop off place that their father and I have arranged). So we went back to Tim Hortons, and still had about 20 minutes to kill. They wanted to try what I was drinking earlier that evening, a white hot chocolate, and I was like, sure, why not? Turns out that they became very wired from the white hot chocolates. They were behaving off the wall. So when my ex came to pick them up, he was trying to have a serious conversation with me, as usual, but I was having a hard time trying to not laugh at what my daughter and son were doing. Making faces, fart noises, pretending they were melting under the table, so on and so forth. Being children. It was funny. The kinda silliness that makes you want to join in. However, I didn’t want to be rude, and yeah, tried to listen to what their father was saying, despite the silly distractions. Lol So yeah, note to self: White Hot Chocolate makes your children go bonkers.
After the visit, I returned home, and my man and his friend were having a fire out back. I think that was the night I got emotional regarding my mans drinking, I opened up and admitted a fear. Which isn’t easy for me to do. Ya know? I do worry about his drinking from time to time. And even though he has cut back, it’s the way he talks about alcohol that scares me. He sounds like an alcoholic. He needs to drink if he’s in pain, if he’s had a rough day, to celebrate a good day, to chill with the guys. There’s a number of reasons/ excuses. And he knows that the reason I didn’t go out with him 3 years ago, it was because of his partying and drinking. Ya know? I’m past that phase, I don’t need to drink and party to have fun. I went years without drinking, it was when I started to date him that I thought, okay maybe I can loosen up a little bit. But now that I’m pregnant, and am going to be a full-time parent again, yeah, I’m going to be a bit of a tight ass again. I don’t depend on alcohol. And when I hear him speak sometimes, it sounds like he does.
He tries to reassure me that he will straighten his act up when the baby arrives. But the thing is, I don’t want to go through the same b.s that I went through with my ex. Ya know? I don’t want to be stuck with another little boy that just wants to party, get drunk and high with his boys, while I’m at home trying my best to manage as a parent on my own. My man, says he knows what he’s capable of, as in when it comes to cutting back or quitting. But I still have my doubts. Compared to how much he used to drink, even his friends say he’s mellowed out. So I’ll temporarily sweep it under the rug, and yeah, only time will tell if he will straighten up and man up. Actions speak louder than words.
Yes I expressed some concerns I’ve had lately regarding my boyfriend and alcohol. But, I’m going to take his advice, hang in there a little longer, and have faith that he will show me I have nothing to fear. I do love him dearly, and I can only hope that I’m not going to go through the same shit as I have in the past.
Ya know? He says he’s always wanted a family of his own, to have a child. And with what’s he’s done so far, he seems pretty sincere. It could be just past experiences/ perspectives that could be haunting me. I worry and think too much. But then again, there are people that can’t give up a crazy lifestyle for the sake of their family. Please prove my fears wrong.
On Saturday, I went to Westmount for this event called Art Blast, which was being held at the For the Love of Art Centre. I would not have known about it, if it hadn’t been for Twitter. I find that Twitter seems to be a good way to find art events and exhibitions that I can participate in.
It was my first time at the For the Love of Art Centre. But yeah, I painted non-stop for 4 hours. The event is to support their centre. There will be an auction coming up, so all the pieces that were created there will be auctioned off starting Oct 31st, and the artists get 25% back of the proceeds that their art piece sells for. That’s cool. I get to support a non-profit organization that encourages art and creativity on the west end of London, AND I get my art out there. Yaaaay!! For more details regarding the auction, keep an eye on the following Facebook page: ForTheLoveofArtLondonOntario
After the event, I met up with my man downtown and we did some shopping downtown.
Monday, I was home. Didn’t do too much. Tuesday, I have no idea what happened, just got some major pregnancy fatigue, and napped longer that day than I intended to. Probably means I need to eat more. But yeah, I missed the New School of Colour this week. However, I was given the heads up that next week, the New School of colour will be on a Wednesday afternoon.
Today I was getting my appointments back in order and now that that’s taken care of, one less thing to stress about.
During the week, I have been supporting my friend Melly. If you haven’t noticed the re-blogs lately. I’m just so happy to see her standing up for something she believes in, despite the criticism she gets from people of higher supposed stature or status. Maybe I’m intrigued by her rebellion in a way. Ya know? People, even local news papers try to silence her opinions, but they don’t crush her persistence and determination. She has something to say regarding Homelessness and Poverty, and she’s damn well going to be heard. I love it! She even got interviewed on 106.9fm The X. I’m so freakin proud of her. It’s good to see her fight for something she believes in. Ya know? It’s like, my little Melly, she’s all grown up. She’s turning into quite the mighty woman. Get out of her freakin way!! Lol You can read and follow her blog at the following link:
According to my man, some family members on his side are getting a bit anxious to find out the sex of the baby. Unfortunately, I do not have that answer yet. We won’t know until early November, within the first 2 weeks, after the next ultrasound.
When we think about it, our home is never going to have a dull moment. 3 shitzus, 3 children (2 on weekends) . There’s always going to be something happening. Lol
My man and I joke around about naming our child; Raspberry Sue, no matter what the sex. Lol It gives us a good laugh. Raspberry, because my man has given my tummy so many raspberries during this pregnancy so far, that our child will probably think his/her name is raspberry. And Sue, because if our baby is a boy, my man says that name would toughen him up by the time he’s an adult. Imagine a grown man named Raspberry Sue, not one to mess with. Lol But no worries, that will not be the name of our Little Turkey Hunter, that name is just jokes. I think once we know the sex of the baby, we’ll get a better idea on what to name our child.
My man got the day off yesterday which was nice. He normally keeps himself pretty busy around the house, organizing things and cleaning. He was tuckered out by the end of the day. I find it funny how he says his dad is a workaholic, but so is he. However, I do have fun distracting him here and there.
Today I can relax, and do whatever. Tomorrow, I go in to see my doctor for my third prenatal check-up, and that is when I can pick up a new form for my next ultrasound since the one I had had gone m.i.a. I do recall my ultrasound appointment being within the first two weeks of November. My man won’t be with me for this one, but I’ll shoot him a text as soon as I know the sex of the baby, and he can spread the news to his family.
Then Saturday and Sunday my children will be over, and I’m excited to take them out for Halloween. I finally decided what my costume is going to be, and I don’t have to buy anything except face paint. I just need jeans, and a plaid/ or button up shirt. I already have a hat I can use. But yeah, I’m going to be a scarecrow this year. A cute lil pregnant scarecrow. 🙂 Lol
Anyways, that is the basically what’s been going on in the life of Pooks. Over all it’s been good, with some worries, but not too much. Thank you so much for reading! Until next time! Peace and love – Pooks
“Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.”- Shannon L. Alder