Just thought I should leave a link here of where my fabulous journey continues. As this Blog Site comes to an end…another begins…
Hope to see you there! -Pooks
Just thought I should leave a link here of where my fabulous journey continues. As this Blog Site comes to an end…another begins…
Hope to see you there! -Pooks
So now that we supposedly patch things up over the weekend. My supposed man is now creating various social media accounts. Kinda creepy. Considering he’s not all that interested in social media. But I guess he wants to find my last blog post as a reason to get upset again. Even though we’re supposedly on good terms, let’s go find something regarding our past to dwell on and get pissy all over again! So yeah, we’re not 100% okay. Things are still a bit rocky.
Not to mention these sudden new accounts come across as being controlling and possesive. Ya know? Stalk me online to make sure I stay in line or something.
I’m allowed to think. I’m allowed to feel what I feel. And I am allowed to fuckin express it!
So all these new accounts online kinda shows that I am not trusted. Without trust we have nothing. But he says he’s just curious to what I am saying.He probably won’t like what he sees. But hey! As I told others, if you don’t like what you’re reading, and you know it’s about you, then be a positive in my life. Not a negative.
Yes I may use my exes past behavior as a prime example of everything I don’t want. And maybe having alcohol and a baby in the house is triggering some shit. A part of me is terrified things will just repeat itself and I will lose another child to another white man. Even though I AM the sober and drug-free one.
Ya know? Before our daughter was born, I thought I would be okay with this supposed “casual” or “social” drinking thing. But clearly I’m not. It throws me in for a loop of fear, and paranoia.
However, over the weekend, my supposed man didn’t drink, and he spent time with his daughter. After I dumped him of coarse. Then he’ll straighten up. But I guess supposedly, I need to speak up, and not be afraid to ask for help. I shouldn’t have to ask. And what if its not help I need. I just wanted him to spend time with his daughter. He should be willing to take time out of his day for his daughter regardless. His time is more valuable than anything he has to offer, or that his money can buy. She, or anyone for that matter, values moments. Moments create memories. Memories can be cherished and are more meaningful than any material thing.
Perhaps years of being on and off OW taught me that. Poverty taught me that. The Ark and the people I met there taught me that, including the homeless.
So yeah. Thank him for spending time with his daughter this weekend. That was all I wanted. If he has been before, and I just didn’t notice. Sorry. I’m just expressing my perspective, and from what I saw, it was like we were avoided.
As for the constant cleaning, we came to the conclusion that it is his OCD.So yeah, if I don’t speak up, he will just continue to constantly clean because it is never ending. I mean, the sink will just refill with dishes, laundry will just re-pile. Makes sense. Since before our daughter was even born, the only way I could get his attention away from housework, was sex. And look what happened. We now have a daughter, and it’s not like our daughter can do the same to distract him for time. So yeah, the chores can wait sometimes. Or as he displayed this weekend, he can do chores and spend time with our daughter at the same time. Ya know? It is possible. He had put her swing in the kitchen, and as he did chores, she sat on her swing and watched him. Maybe one day, she’ll woddle over and try to help. Lol
Anyways, apparently a rehabilitation Centre from Toronto called him at work today…They talked and say he doesn’t have a drinking problem…That’s reassurring. However when we were arguing about it, he’ll sure defend that shit. And when I told him that I wanted alcohol out for good, what did he do? He stormed out of the room. That really upset him.
But he did come back and say that he wouldn’t be able to afford alcohol anyways if we move to this new place together. It would be like a fresh start. So I am giving him another chance.
However, if we end up arguing about alcohol there. That’s it. I’ll put a stop to it quick and leave with our daughter. She doesn’t need to be in the middle of that. Nor do my other 2 children. So yeah, he’s been warned.
As for his older sister. She just made it awkward for herself the next time we come face to face, because now I know how she really feels about me and my man and I’s daughter. Saying she’s not his. Or “doesn’t even look like him”. So she thinks I’m a slut or something eh?! HA! Let’s see if she can say it to my face next time. If you ask me, she’s the stupid one to think my man wouldn’t tell me. Smh.
Anyways, with this new place we plan on moving into together…yes the budget will be tight. My man ( or supposed man. Whatever. Things are still a bit rocky) says he won’t be able to afford to drink, and to make ends meet he may have to take extra jobs. So yeah. I want to help keep things afloat. But like I said many times, London doesn’t hire natives. So I got to think of another way of making income, besides my art. Which sells the odd time. It’s not stable income. I was thinking of being a surveyer. Actually I made an attempt, but that wasn’t working. As I was trying to fill out a survey, my daughter would swat at my cell phone and close the survey. So perhaps being a surveyer with a squirmy baby with energy isn’t the thing for me.
My man suggested a home business. Refurbishing hardwood furniture, and even painting art on them. Maybe, but even that will take time to get the ball rolling.
So I was thinking, another way would be to get paid to write. Either I can get paid to continue to blog. This could be the last one here, and I could start a new domain, a continuation, where subscribers pay, or donate. Not sure how things work business wise on WordPress… but I’ll look into it.
Or… The continuation will come in the form of a book that maybe I could sell on Amazon. I published a book before, on Lulu, and yeah. I don’t make anything off it.
Either way, this may be the last blog post here.
I enjoy writing, so yeah. It’s worth a shot.
And maybe, just like my son, change scares me. I have lived in this house for 5 years, and now I have no choice but to leave. I got comfortable and cozy here, but it is unsafe, and it’s a health hazzard. So yeah. It’s another one of those times where I leap into the unknown. But if I hadn’t leaped before, I wouldn’t have come across the New School of Colour, and that place provided me with a wonderful healing experience. So yeah, good things could be coming if I take another leap.
Soon it will be; Good bye EOA!, and hello to a new beginning. -Pooks
Once again, been awhile since I posted.
Anyways, on Good Friday, March 25th, 2016 at 1:15pm, I gave birth to a little girl. Since we already had names chosen, that would mean, Lily Adelaide King Wuytenburg made her grand entrance to the world. She weighed 10 lbs and 11ozs. So far, the biggest of all my babies I gave birth to. So was not expecting that, especially after my last ultrasound when the lady said my baby was only 7 lbs.
Anyways, I had a lot of support with me during and after my delivery. So thank you to my man, my bestie, my doula, Dr. Thompson and Dr Rahman. Thank you to friends and family that came to visit us at the hospital. You all made this experience a positive one. Especially those in the delivery room with me. Your support and encouragement was and is still appreciated.
However, I am not impressed with Victoria Hospital, because once again, C.A.S was called, and for a stupid reason at that. Just because “they were involved in my past”.
So when the worker showed up at our home, I just spoke to her at the door because we weren’t told CAS was called, and we weren’t expecting any company. I don’t let anyone in if I am not expecting a visitor. Most people make arrangements before hand, it’s just the respectful thing to do. Supposedly she claims she called and emailed in advance, but nope. I checked.
Another date was set for her to visit, and my man spoke to her that day. Clearly that wasn’t enough, they want to speak to me directly. So yet another appointment has been scheduled.
When she came to visit again, my man took some time off work to be there and support me, and the visit didn’t turn out as bad as I had assumed it would be. I guess with all my past experience with C.A.S, I dreaded the worst. But turns out, it went rather well. My man and are not a concern, our file was closed, and the worker said she’d file a complaint on whomever from Victoria Hospital that called C.A.S on us for wasting her time.
Anyways, I just took a family members advice. This is a happy moment in my life, and I’m not going to let anyone spoil it for me. So nyeh! 😛 Lol Clearly it worked.
So yeah, been pretty busy with a newborn. Introducing her to people, friends of my man. He’s so proud.
One of these past weekends we went on our first family trip together. We went to visit my man’s mom, and a whole bunch of other family members. All together, there was 22 of us at this reunion. It was awesome. I just wish I could have been more active without hurting myself. I was still recuperating from giving birth. Regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed the nature walk, even though I may have pushed myself too hard to keep up. So yeah, after that, I was grounded. Lol I had to take it easy for the remainder of our stay.
However, it was nice to see my eldest daughter be more social this time around and having fun. She loved the trampoline. Thank my ex for letting us bring her along.
We got to meet my man’s Aunt from Alberta, and his 80 year old grandfather. They were cool.
Also, it was funny how my man’s and I’s daughter was the same size as her cousin. He’s 3 or 4 months old, and our daughter was just over a week old.
Anyways, on our way back home, the weather was insane. My man said he was under a lot of stress getting us home safely, even his hands were shaking. I mean, the roads were barely visible, they were covered in snow. But I think my man did a good job, both driving and not showing how truly stressed he was. He managed to get my eldest daughter home to her Dad safely as promised, and we got home safely as well.
It wasn’t until after that we realized just how lucky we were. I guess we just missed a huge accident on the 401. A 20 car pile up. So thank our lucky stars we weren’t in that, and hopefully those that were weren’t seriously injured.
What else? Just been settling in at home with our baby. My man has returned to work, and I am trying to stay on top of appointments and other responsibilities. However, with a newborn, yeah. A lot of my time is spoken for. She comes first.
We’ve been getting a lot of gifts and cards from family for our daughter. Thank them all for their help. I mean, we started out with barely any clothes for her, and now she’s got quite the wardrobe. Plus other baby items, toys, etc. So I couldn’t be anymore grateful. My man’s family, on both his mother’s side, and his father’s side have been amazing.
What else? The Twitter Art Exhibit’s opening reception in New York was on March 31st, and by the looks of it, it was a success. Within 2 hours they raised over $7000 for Foster Pride.
Anyways, the show runs until April 21st.
The painting I donated was a portrait of my boyfriend. I called it ” Portrait of a Carpenter.” So if you’re in New York City, check it out at the Trygve Lie Gallery.
Anyways, what else? Up with Art is quickly approaching, which will be at the Palace Theatre on April 23rd here in London, ON. Looking forward to that event. This year I will be there with my man and 2 daughters. So yeah, it will be awesome! To buy your tickets or bid on any art in advance, go to… http://www.upwithart.ca.
I haven’t returned to the New School of Colour yet. However, we just gotten a stroller not too long ago from my man’s sister. So it is possible. But I would rather wait until it is warmer, and for when my daughter is a bit bigger and settled in. We are slowly creating a routine. Kinda hard with a newborn, but yeah. I finally got her sleeping at night. At first, she was quite the night owl, but then I discovered that classical music helps her sleep.
My eldest daughter was over last weekend, and I wish I could have been more fun. But yeah, my hands have been tied with a newborn. Hopefully my eldest daughter remains patient. Ya know? Soon the baby will become mobile and things will become fun again. New adventures wait to be had.
I am feeling extremely grateful to be given the chance to be a full time parent again. And I’m grateful to have all the support that I do these days. My man, friends and family. Parenting with support, it makes a huge difference.
Anyways, quite a bit has been going on, but yeah. Feel like I’m writing against a timer. Lol Baby will wake up any moment. So yeah, I’ll leave it at that for now. Thank you for reading! Much love – Pooks.
” Build me up and I with you. For we are more one than two”
– Deborah Day
I guess once again I am writing 2 blogs in a week.
I didn’t make it to the New School of Colour yesterday, and maybe I should have went. But being pregnant and all, I listen to my body. If I feel like I need to desperately take a nap, I’ll nap. And that’s what happened. I had planned to go, but by the time 4:30pm rolled around, I was out like a light.
Anyways, it seems like during my absence an artist is trying to dominate the program. Making it all about her. She seems to have a habit of doing that. So if someone isn’t there to keep things fair between the artists, she clearly gets her way. And our new facilitator is being a bit of a door mat, and just let’s her.
The issue, this artist has her own art space where she works and displays her art. Well, now she has taken up more space. A table a friend of mine worked at has been removed to display even more of this artist’s work. And not only that, but she also has her work alone, on display on the wall upstairs at The Ark. Maybe I was mistaken, but I thought it was to be 2 artists at a time on display upstairs. So excuse me if I find this one particular artist not only being selfish, but greedy.
There is more than one artist involved in the New School of Colour. It isn’t fair to other artists if this one artist is only putting the spotlight on her own work, and not anyone else’s.
Like my friend said, “it’s the New School of Colour, Not Thorn N’ Thistle.” The brand name or supposed personal art and crafts company this artist likes to go under.
The facilitator, instead of standing up with my friend and fellow artist, just told her it’s “everyone’s space” when she saw her working station has been removed. Well then, tell that to the artist that is clearly being selfish for the limelight. IT’S EVERYONE’S SPACE!! I mean, the corner I work in hasn’t been touched, nor would it be. Why? Because Pooks is a respected artist. But clearly my friend whom was also a member of the New School of Colour, longer than I have ever been, doesn’t get the same amount of respect. Her art gets thrown in a box, and her station is removed to display this other artists work. What makes this other artist more special than anyone else?
Part of the reason I loved the New School of Colour was the diversity. The diversity of people, and the diversity of art. It never used to center around one artist. We treated eachother equal. Regardless if we got along or not. I mean, no we’re not ALL friends. But we shared the same goal, to create. And just by that alone, we respected eachother. Well, clearly that is falling apart. Because this artist and her friend don’t really respect any of the other artists apparently.
If I had my way, I would do my best to keep things fair. Every artist gets thier time in the limelight. I love all thier work. Heck, I sure as hell wouldn’t be just displaying my own work only. I’m not like that. I put others before myself. My work is rarely on display upstairs, and I don’t mind. I have my own ways of getting my art out there, not all the artists have that advantage and I know that.
So yeah, needless to say I am not impressed with what I am hearing is happening at the New School of Colour. Ya know? We’ve lost lots of artists that don’t attend anymore after the change of facilitators. And now we might lose another artist because one artist is only thinking of themselves.
If she wants the limelight so bad, than why not do another solo exhibition at EVAC like she’s done before? She did it once, she can do it again.
The point is, the New School of Colour is made up of several people, not just one person alone.
Sure I may draw in attention. But maybe that’s because of the amount of impact the program has had my life. It saved mine.
Not only that, I worked my ass off getting my alias name out there. Not with just art, but social media, and my writing. Heck, this blog has even made Pooks into a reality. If I didn’t have the support that I do, thank you all, Pooks would not be.
Did I ever have to sink to levels such as taking over the New School of Colour for attention? No. Instead, I am grateful for the program, and have always tried to give back to the New School of Colour and the Ark Aid Street Mission through my art. 10% of the proceeds that my art sells for goes back to The Ark or New School. I don’t mind. My art has never been about the money, unlike this other artist that is being an issue. My art has always been about expression. My personal healing. That’s what I use it for.
So it might be awhile before I return to the New School of Colour, since I can go into labour any day now. But I swear, if this nonsense doesn’t get straightened out before my return, than yeah, I will step up and bring balance back to the New School of Colour. All the artists deserve to be acknowledged as a whole. – Pooks
I guess it’s time for this week’s blog post eh?
I’ll start with some failed drama that I found rather amusing. When was it? Last Friday? Yeah, anyways, I had gotten some crazy private messages on Facebook from a woman I don’t even know. So who is she? Turns out shes a friends mother, and this friend visits me and my partner at least once a week. I don’t mind. It gives my man his man time, because for the remainder of the week, there’s just me, him, and 3 female shiatsu’s. So he’s surrounded by estrogen. Haha!
Anyways, the messages were pretty outrageous. But then again, my partner has been very open with me, and has told me of her before. He met her years ago at Pathways. She’s basically a cougar that has a thing for him. And as far as these messages go, she was attempting to start shit. Saying that my man was spreading rumours of having a threesome with her. Umm… She wishes. What else? Because my man’s ex stole something from her, I’m not welcome to her home and not trusted. Umm… okay? First off, I’m not his ex, or anything like her. His ex sounds psychotic and kinda butchy. But whatever. No loss there. I don’t really know this woman that was apparently trolling my Facebook, and probably noticed whom I am in a relationship with. So yeah, I think she’s just jealous. Can’t blame her, I do have a sexy man. Haha!
He was worried this drama would effect our relationship, but nope. I reassured him that I believe in him, and what he tells me is the truth. Plus he’s told me numerous times how he feels about dating older people, he doesn’t agree with it. Sure, I am older, by 3 years, but we’re both in our 30’s. He’s not interested in someone that is old enough to be his mother basically. Lol So yeah. So not stressing over that. I just found it amusing how she thought trolling my Facebook and sending me messages would possibly change things. I mean she even said something along the lines that my man better not go crying to her when I break up with him. As far as I’m aware, we’re about to have a baby together, and we’re both on the same page of making our relationship work.
Anyways, I showed the messages she had sent me to my man, and to her son. Both of them were just like; wow, what the the fuck? Her son advised me to block her, saying I don’t need that bullshit, especially being 9 months pregnant. So I did. Poof! She’s gone from harassing the Pooks. Communication is key. 😉
So yeah. Once again, another woman that can’t respect a couples relationship. Smh.
On to other things. According to the doctor at my last appointment, I could be going into labour any day now. For the most part I feel ready. I mean, I’ve been meeting up with a doula, and has been giving me some ideas of things to do during contractions. Things I’ve never tried before, and could make the birth go more smoothly. Before I was just kinda on my back with my legs spread during the whole labour, focused on my doctors instructions. This time could be a little different. Plus, since it’s my man’s first time ever experiencing child birth, having a doula there for support can come in handy for him too. To help him calm down if he gets anxious, overwhelmed, or freaks out. Lol
I had an ultrasound yesterday, and once again our baby kept it’s legs closed. Modest, and stubborn little thing. Lol Anyways, the lady that was giving me the ultrasound said that she isn’t 100% sure, but she thinks we’re having a girl. ❤
I’m kinda jumping all over the place. Umm… over the weekend my daughter was over. She gave me some belated valentine’s cards that she made. My favorite is the minion.
My man even took us to the Kinsmen Fanshawe Sugar Bush. We got to go on a horse buggy ride tour. I was impressed with the volunteers there. They knew their stuff, and even brought up some Ojibwe heritage/ history, which I found quite respectful. So yeah, needless to say, I was thoroughly impressed to see they did their research. Not only that, but I noticed that some of the proceeds they make through donations go to supporting the Ark Aid Street Mission. Yaaaay!! It’s like a family outing that is giving back to muh peeps! 🙂
My daughter was a little rude to my man afterwards. That whole step dad thing. He tried to give her souvenirs from the Kinsmen Fanshawe Sugar Bush. But she rejected it.
She opened up and said her dad had a step dad, and he wasn’t a good man. Well no he wasn’t. He was a pedophile. But not all step parents are bad people.
So yeah, clearly still got some work to do.
It was my idea to go to the Sugar Bush to do something together. So that maybe my kids ( or in this case, just my daughter) can get to know my man better. It was a good attempt, but yeah. Things are still a bit bumpy. Normally my man keeps himself busy over the weekend with chores and whatnot, while I have my visit.
With Spring and Summer around the corner, that might get us out of the house more and doing things together more often. Gradually of coarse, because we’ll have a baby with us.
That’s another thing. I haven’t been to the New School of Colour for a couple weeks now. However I may make an attempt this evening. Fingers crossed that I don’t go into labour while I’m out and about. Haha! But yeah, I was talking to the facilitator via text messages, and I was surprised that he would be willing to try to get the New School of Colour hours changed so that they better fit my schedule after my baby is born. So rather than having evening sessions, possibly switching to afternoon sessions. I was also surprised by how welcomed my baby is. I mean, I’ve overheard artists in the past talk about children attending the Ark Aid Street Mission location of the New School of Colour, and they weren’t too fond of the idea. So it did have me concerned about me bringing in a baby, which can be more chaotic than 3 little girls. But yeah, it’s cool to see I have support from a place I cherish. He said it’s actually expected that I bring my baby. So yeah, how awesome is that?! My baby will be surrounded by creativity. ❤
Anyways, what else? My man gets to be the boss so to speak for the next two weeks at work. That’s so awesome that he’s being trusted with such a huge responsibility. Kinda weird in a way too, because now the tables have turned, and it’s his dad asking him what to do. Not that long ago it was the other way around. So yeah, I’m very proud of my man. He’s doing amazing. 🙂
Anyways, that’s enough blogging for today. I’m going to miss hugging my belly, but soon I’ll be hugging my baby.
This pregnancy has been very pleasant. I’m relaxed, and happy. I think I have my partner to thank for that. I’m not all insecure. How can I be when my man compliments me everyday? I am always reassured that I am his precious flower. Lol I used to call myself a flower whenever I wore dresses, which is really rare. And if I got rained on, I would rant and say “I AM NOT A FLOWER! ” Lol Silliness.
Anyways, thanks for reading! Much love- Pooks
In other news…
I completed my painting for Up with Art. Thanks to Sylvia Langer for being so understanding and allowing me to submit my registration form and painting early. The submission deadline is just 2 days apart from my baby’s due date. So I am grateful that she came to my home and picked up the painting, and allowing me to email my registration form.
All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©
She even came by with another surprise. I have been kinda cooped up indoors because my feet and ankles swell up, and I can’t squeeze my feet into my boots. I had shoes, but they were falling apart. So yeah, I was surprised by her kindness and generosity to help me out. While she picked up my painting, she gave me a pair of runners. I couldn’t slide them on at first, but after loosening the laces, I can actually get out and about again. FREEDOM!! J/k Haha!
So yeah, Pooks will once again be apart of the Up with Art exhibition/ fundraiser. Yaaaay!!
I’ve also been told that children can get in free. So that means…my baby is covered, and so is my daughter if a visit lands on that particular Saturday. I think she will like the event if she does go. And since artists get to invite one guest, once again I will be bringing my man.
So now that I’m done my Up with Art painting, next I will be working on something for the Framing of the Phoenix Art Exhibition.
What else? Family will be happy to be aware that another ultrasound of the baby has been scheduled for next week. So maybe we will find out the sex of the baby after all. Even though that is not the reasoning behind the ultrasound. My doctor wants to double check on their measurement of the baby, as it seems to be getting kinda large.
However, my doula brought it to my attention that perhaps the reason why the baby could be big is because maybe I could be due sooner. That could be possible. Not all estimated due dates are 100% accurate.
I had a dream this morning, that my baby was already born, and it was a boy. It could be wrong. But yeah, got to love dreams while you’re pregnant. They seem so real.
I remember my doula asking if I notice anything different about this pregnancy compared to the other 2. Yep. I don’t recall my feet swelling as often late in the pregnancy. I get more indigestion with this one. And it seems like I’m constantly put on antibiotics for a bladder infection. But yeah. Considering how many times I’ve been put on antibiotics, I am hoping it hasn’t had any effect on my baby.
Wat else? Visits with my daughter have been going well. I was surprised she even cleaned her room. She’s been such a good girl. I know I haven’t been able to be that active lately. So I’m glad we can find other things to do, such as play board games. She always kicks my butt at monopoly, even the Junior version. Haha!
Congrats to a good friend of mine that has finally moved out of a building she’s been trying to get out of for the last 8 years. I haven’t been able to visit her new place yet, but hopefully soon I can. I know she will be busy with school starting this month. But yeah, will have to arrange a visit. It’s so weird going from having her just living on the other end of the bridge, to another end of the city. But in order to keep a good friendship maintained, an effort must be made.
I haven’t been to the New School of Colour for a week. As for today, there’s a snow storm warning in effect. So I probably won’t make it today either. Hopefully tomorrow. Even though I noticed that I get more done at home than I do at the New School of Colour lately. It seems like someone always wants to talk. Which kinda takes my focus away from my art.
Speaking of tomorrow, I have an appointment at the hospital. Some kind of assessment needs to be done because of my rheumatoid arthritis. It hasn’t given me any problems during labor before. So I don’t see why the staff keep bringing up the epidural. I refuse to take a huge ass needle in the spine. I can only see that making my arthritis worse in my back. So no, arthritis or no arthritis. No epidural! I can normally tolerate the pain of my arthritis without any medication. So I guess you can say I have a high pain tolerance.
So yeah, things are going to get more busy this month, the closer I get to the baby’s due date. Even my regular check ups will now be every week, instead of every 2 weeks.
I think that’s pretty much it. 3 weeks and 4 days to go, and our baby will be here!!
Oh! My man started a new job last week, and he gets to use a company truck. I’m so proud of him. He had quite a few job offers. So yeah, it’s pretty awesome his hard work is getting some recognition.
Another thing. We might have to save up to visit his mother, and other family members in April. His grandfather will be there. And yeah, it would be awesome if we make it there with the baby. My man says I would love it there. His mother lives on a property surrounded by nature. So fingers crossed! Let’s hope we can make the trip! We may have to rent a vehicle.
Anyways, that’s enough blogging for one day. 2 posts should be enough. Lol Thanks for reading. Peace and Love – Pooks
“Of course I can do this. I’m pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn’t change my personality.”
– Christine Feehan
After talking to my OW worker on the phone, she was asking why I haven’t been showing up to Leads lately. I’m pretty sure I already explained that in my previous blog. So yeah, I filled her in. She suggested that I e-mail the Leads worker to give her feedback regarding how our last appointment went. That way the same doesn’t happen with future, or other clients. Ya know? Keep it professional. So I did that. My OW made it a point to not express any hostility, but to explain my perspective of what took place. Hopefully, I accomplished that. The following is what I sent, hopefully I don’t sound too much like a bitch.
my OW worker has requested that I contact you, & follow up with you even though it is no longer necessary for me to go ahead with Leads. I will be job searching independently for the remainder of time of my pregnancy.
However, she did say that giving you feedback regarding our last appointment could be beneficial to you and future clients.
In your last email you apologized for your poor communication. I can forgive you for that. But I must let you know how I felt, and why I walked out.
First off, I felt like your questions had nothing to do with employment, and found them rather personal. Questions regarding my relationship, my pregnancy, my family, and if CAS is involved. None of those topics have anything to do with why I come to Leads in the first place. I feel like you forgot your own occupation. You are not a psychologist, councilor, or an interrogation officer. The way you asked those questions, it was like a lightning round of questions. You were not really giving me time to think about my answers, you were cutting me off. As a deep thinker i prefer time to think before I speak. So that came off as rude and disrespectful, and it triggered my anxiety. It came off as aggressive behavior so I walked out of my appointment.
To avoid the same situation with other clients, I suggest focusing on skills and employment.
Thank you for taking the time to read my perspective. I hope my feedback will come in handy for the sake of others.
Pauline King Shannon
Anyways, my OW worker gave me the option to either continue with Leads, and try to work things out with this worker, or for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, job search independently. However, she did say that trying to work it out with the Leads worker would give me some experience when dealing with difficult people or situations in the work field. That was before she thought about it, and gave me the option to job search independently. I got 2 more months to go. I mean, mobility is becoming more and more of a challenge. My tummy is growing into a beach ball. So yeah, job searching from home for 2 months would be a hell of a lot easier.
Umm… yesterday I was feeling kinda down. But thanks to my babe for listening and trying to understand. Even though I know he can’t possibly fathom what I was feeling. Yes, being pregnant is wonderful. But at the same time… Ughhh… I miss being as active I used to be. Also, pregnancy can come with some unpleasant side effects. For example: a bladder infection, hemorrhoids, swollen feet, ankles and fingers, indigestion, itchy breasts, etc, etc. So no, I’m not feeling so fabulous lately. And running to the washroom every 2 hours at night, ugh..no fun. I’m losing sleep. So there is a part of me that is getting impatient, and kinda feel tired of being pregnant. Like, just pop already! Lol Then there’s another part of me that doesn’t want to pop just yet, we aren’t ready. We still need a crib mattress, and other things for when I go into the hospital.
For a while there, I felt like I was being ignored, because my partner would be playing a videogame on the XBox One for hours. But he proved me otherwise. He turned off his game just to talk to me. So there goes that assumption that the game was a higher priority. Yup, scratch that. My babe is amazing. Probably just my freakin hormones going crazy. Thinking the worst.
Anyways, feeling much better today. Not as gloomy. I only got 2 more months to go, so yeah. I can do this!!
What else? … Sounds like my babe will be switching jobs soon. He works for his Dad, as a framer, and it sounds like his dad is done with framing and is gonna move onto other things. Luckily for my babe, he has a number of jobs to fall back on. I mean, he was offered 3 jobs that are there and waiting. So yeah, that’s pretty awesome.
Speaking of my babe, his portrait that I painted is off to New York for the Twitter Art Exhibit. Hopefully it arrives to it’s destination safely. This year all original post card art will be benefiting Foster Prides “Homemade program”. A program in which young women in foster care learn to create and market a unique line of goods.
It’ll be my third time participating in the Twitter Art Exhibit. Ya know? It kinda gives my art a purpose when I am able to help out non- profit organizations by donating my art. I tend to do that a lot. Lol Even locally. But I don’t know, I get a sense of a greater accomplishment that way. It’s like David Sandum ( the curator of the Twitter Art Exhibit) says; Art can make a difference.
Speaking of art, my mans mother and her boyfriend surprised me yesterday. They called and were requesting for a commission piece. Even though I hardly ever do commission pieces, but we’ll see how that goes. I’ve done commission work once, I think I can do it again. But normally, I like to paint and create whatever I want.
However, my focus at the moment is creating something for the next Up with Art event. A fundraising event that benefits the homeless through the Unity Project. The thing is, now that I have completed and shipped off my art to the Twitter Art Exhibit, my mind is at a blank or stand still when it comes to my next project. Can’t force inspiration, or creativity, it just happens. So hopefully, I can come up with something before the Spring.
Onto other things…. my man said that once we are done saving up for our baby and getting everything he/she needs. We can start saving up to see my family up north. That’s awesome! I got a feeling that my man will love it up in Trout Lake. My Aunt is already planning to take him to all her best fishing spots. Lol So yeah, that’s exciting. If not this year, maybe next year. Yaaaaay!
My cousin said it would be awesome if I could bring all 3 of my children. My son, daughter, and the baby. Yeah that would be awesome, but I think my son and daughter are too urbanized. I think they would complain the whole time being out in the bush. Heck, it’s challenging enough just to get them to go to the conservation areas within the city with me. And I’m not sure my ex would allow that, since such a thing wasn’t allowed in the past. Things may have changed since then, and who knows, maybe he’d appreciate the break. But yeah, we’ll see when the time comes.
Speaking of my son and daughter, my son didn’t come to the last weekend visit. That was a bit disappointing, but it is his choice. This attitude he has towards my man is getting beyond annoying. My man is a good man. He’s not abusive. He works his ass off to make sure me and the kids are well off. And yeah, I’d hate to say it, but my son is being an ungrateful little shit. But I guess that kind of behavior is to be expected when adults, such as teachers and parents, let children walk all over them or just let the kid have their freakin way. And since my man won’t tolerate any disrespect or ungratefulness, he tries to discipline or teach that there are consequences to ones actions…No, my son won’t have it. How dare anybody try to teach him anything or discipline him in anyway. So yeah, perhaps all this, whatever my ex is teaching our son, is back-firing on us all, because our son has no respect for any authority figure. Parents included. Maybe it would be better off teaching him that kinda stuff, anti-capitalism stuff, when he’s older and not so literal. He’s 10 years old for crying out loud! Better yet, start teaching him to survive on his own. Teach him to cook, clean, garden, etc, etc. That way he’s not completely screwed over when it comes time to go out into the world on his own. That’s 8 years away, look how quick 10 years flew by. Geez!!
Yeah, things with my son are a bit frustrating lately, and my ex wants us to coddle him basically. But the way I see it, we’re the adults, he’s the child. It’s not the other way around. There needs to be discipline, and routine, and structure with a child, otherwise…yeah. You get my point. Ughhhh!!! Stressed out mama.
Thankfully, were not going through this bullshit with our daughter. Ya know? She’s doing amazingly well in school, and actually wants to go. So good for her. If she keeps that positive attitude, she can get pretty far.
So yeah, that is an ongoing issue regarding our son and us 3 adults. I’m at a loss when it comes to doing something about it. I mean, my time is limited with my son, and if he chooses to not visit, then he doesn’t visit. So majority of my sons fate is left up to my ex, and it doesn’t look very promising. That’s just my perspective. I’m his mother, I’m supposed to worry about his well-being.
Anyways, that’s enough of that. It’s stressful enough just thinking about it.
So yeah, that’s some of the things going on in my life.
Other than that, I got my appointment booked at the Birthing Centre. Get to go over my birth plan, so on and so forth. 2 more months to go, and my mans and I’s pudgy little baby will be here! 😀
As always, thank you for reading. Peace and love! – Pooks
“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.”
– Jane Wagner
Well I guess this is my first blog post of 2016. Yaaaay!
Anyways, I know I’m not as consistent when it comes to posts. But life has been getting busier. I’ve gone from weekly, to every two weeks. Basically, I’m just posting when I find the time.
Also, because of my pregnancy, I seemed to have hit another stage of fatigue. So yeah, when I’m not overly tired either, I can blog.
A bit has happened since the last time I blogged, so I am not sure where to begin.
I’m not sure if I mentioned this last time, but my baby is no longer under weight, and is the size and weight it should be around this time. So yaaaay! I knew my baby would grow their pudge at their own pace.
The doctor that is following my pregnancy said she might not be there for when I go into labour, but has a couple back up doctors that she trusts that can take her place. Depending on when I go into labour. So yeah, Just as long as there’s a doctor to coach me through the contractions, I’m good!
Last week at Leads Employment Services…wow. I swear that was my first time ever walking out of an appointment. Nope, i wasn’t a happy camper that day. I mean yes, I was late. But I clearly cannot waddle my ass to the bus stop as fast I’d assume. Especially on ice. So yeah, missing the bus that I intend to catch shouldn’t come as a surprise. Also, I planned on going to Shoppers Drug Mart first to drop off a prescription, and I did. My stop there took longer than expected, because the date on my prescription wasn’t the correct date. So yeah, I had to talk to the clerks there for a bit to sort things out with my clinic.
Anyways, I get to my Leads appointment, things seemed fine, until my Leads worker starts nagging me about punctuality and organization. I was fine, until she started acting like an interrogation officer with her lightning questions after questions. To me that comes off as aggressive, and with me having anxiety being around any kind of aggression, my reaction will either be fight or flight. And obviously, I chose to leave.
Not to mention I didn’t appreciate the personal questions she was asking. Such as, is C.A.S involved? That’s not your job. She’s not a psychiatrist, or a councilor. My personal life really isn’t any of her business. Her job is strictly to help find me employment, or to help me work on skills that can assist on getting me a job. And that day it was like she forgot that. Not to mention, if she were to be realistic about my current situation, I’m 6-7 months pregnant. I’m not going to be finding work anytime soon, nor after when the baby is born. I’ll be a stay at home mom at least until my child either gets into daycare, or starts school. So these Leads appointments are kinda pointless at the moment. I mean, I’m obviously going to put my health as a top priority, above Leads. If I’m late because I put my health first, tough shit. I had a bladder infection, and my doctor said if I don’t get antibiotics to treat it, I could have risked going into a preterm labour. So yeah, I wasn’t impressed with that worker. I stormed out of the office, and shortly after I left, I left a message for Leads stating that I didn’t want this woman as worker anymore.
So yeah, I normally have positive things to say regarding Leads, but not this time. That was my first time I ever walked out. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, and I really don’t want to go back if I have to work with that specific worker.
Plus, I am really getting annoyed with this society. They see a native pregnant woman , and it’s like they automatically think that C.A.S should be involved. Go fuck yourself. I know I’m a good mom. My kids know I’m a good mom. Their opinion is more valid than a complete strangers. That’s one of the downfalls about becoming a parent, suddenly everybody wants to judge you. When really, they should be more concerned with their own lives, rather than picking others apart. No parent is perfect, no child is perfect. That’s the problem with C.A.S, they base parenting on a textbook. When in reality, parenting is not something you learn from a textbook, but from actual experience. It varies with every individual.
I mean currently, in my situation, my children are fortunate. Even though my son may not see it that way. He’s got more support than the average child. He’s still got both parents there for him, PLUS my partner that is willing to step up to the role of a step parent.
My daughter seems to be adjusting to the changes rather well. But my son is still kinda resistant towards my partner. He’s rude, ignorant, and ungrateful towards him. I just wish the two of them would just get along. But they keep butting heads. It gets kinda frustrating being stuck in the middle. I mean, my partner is only trying to help, and teach him also since my son is being home-schooled. But my son ignores him. Sigh…
Speaking of the homeschooling thing. It’s difficult when there are two methods of teaching that contradict each-other. My exes way of teaching sounds like it’s a lot more passive. However, he tells us not to let our son walk all over us and be the adult. But when it comes to his way of teaching, he’s kind of being a hypocrite, and being the rug that my son can walk all over. He says that was the schools issue, they coddled him, and just let our son do whatever. Well… it sounds like he’s doing the same. I mean, if you let a child have that choice wither or not to learn, left to their own device, a child would rather not do any work. They’d rather play. Yes, a child learns from playing, but I can’t see a child learning much from video-games. However, when it comes to electronics it is impressive that my son can figure things out without knowing how to read.
Anyways, my ex wants to teach our son the conspiracy theory stuff. The kind of stuff you see on Infowars. My son hates that show, and hates Alex Jones.
As for my partner and I, we want to teach him stuff he’d learn in school. So that he doesn’t fall too much behind. My partner got 2 textbooks. One is a grade 5 curriculum book which includes math, english, social studies and science. After seeing how far behind he is in English, my partner got him a grade one English text book. We’ll start from scratch and build him up from there.
My ex and my partner have their disagreements. I mean, I agree with both to a degree. I too dislike capitalism. But I see where my partner is coming from, my exes and I’s son needs to learn the system, and how to survive in it also. I despise money, but in this day in age, you kind of need it if you want shelter, groceries, a decent living. As I said before, I don’t want to see him homeless, or turning to crime to survive.
In order to be able to make changes, you gotta know the rules of society before you can bend them. Also, you have to be able to invest in the changes you want to make.
Anyways, it’s pretty sad that my ex says he’s pretty much prepared to have our son live with him, even when our son is a grown adult. Already that is doubting his capabilities.
I know he’s a smart kid. He’s just stubborn. And when it comes to homeschooling, us adults cannot be the doormats. We gotta step up and be the adults. When it’s time to learn, it’s time to learn. We weren’t given a choice back when we were in school. It was mandatory for every child. so why should it be different for our son? Unless we want to hold him back even farther, which I certainly don’t. Of coarse I want to see my son succeed. To be better off than me or his father, living on welfare.
But maybe this whole home-schooling stuff would go a lot smoother if we also worked on my sons confidence. He does not believe in himself, he does not love himself.
I’ve also said it before, he needs some sort of counseling. I believe he’s still being affected from witnessing his father assault his mother when he was five. Hence why he turns to technology to shut the world out. He’s been doing that since he was 5. It started with movies, watching Garfield over and over (since that was playing during the time of the assault), then he turned to video-games. However, counseling would be entirely up to my ex, and my ex won’t do it. Probably because he thinks C.A.S will be called on him or something.
There’s another difference between the way my partner and I parent, and my ex. My ex prefers to isolate. While I believe the native saying that it takes a community to raise a child. My partner agrees.
So yeah, 2 conflicting ways of schooling, and 2 conflicting ways of parenting… it’s a challenge. But like I said, each parent has a different way of doing things.
Thankfully my daughter doesn’t have the same issue regarding school. She’s doing well in school. Matter of fact, after a weekend visit here, my partner was impressed when I told him that she wanted to go to school that morning. So she’s been listening to what my partner and I have been trying to say, and perhaps sees the value in it. Not to mention, she was pretty eager to show her friend the craft we made over the weekend. It was a Penguin Light Switch Cover. We made 3. One for her, one for me, and one for her friend. They turned out pretty cute.
Anyways, her and my partner seem to get along okay. She’s adjusting to the rules. She did pout one weekend about keeping her room clean, but has been getting better at it. The cleaning that is.
Onto other things…at the New School of Colour, I brought in something I’ve been working on for the Twitter Art Exhibit. It’s going to be a portrait of my partner. I shared my progress online and people liked it. However, when I brought it to the New School of Colour, it’s like it just got picked apart. This is wrong, and this is wrong, and this is wrong. It kinda makes me uncomfortable to draw in front of the facilitator if I do not draw the way he does.
I mean, he says “art is the artists journey”, but is it? Not if you have someone telling you what to do. And drawing on your work. It becomes their work. Their journey. So yeah, that is something he needs to stop doing. I understand he enjoys helping and inspiring others, but too much criticism deflates an artists confidence. If he truly believes in that analogy regarding the artists journey, than he needs to give artists more freedom, and understand that not all artists are the same, or are not going to create the same image as he. Part of the journey, the learning, is the struggle. The artist doesn’t learn if your doing their work for them. Which is a downfall he had with another artist, because now she won’t work unless he’s there. She has become highly dependent on him.
Besides, every artist has a different perspective. If we all sat around a table and were asked to draw or paint an object, chances are, every image would be different, even though we were looking at the same object. Everyone has their own unique style, and perspective. Why try to conform everyones style and perspective into yours?
So yeah, the New School of Colour was Tuesday, and yesterday. I went Tuesday, but didn’t go Wednesday. I didn’t feel like getting more criticism. Plus, with the fatigue I’ve been feeling lately due to my pregnancy, I took a nap instead. Haha! With the extra weight, everything takes that much more of an effort.
Anyways, I need to get some blood work done at some point today. I was going to yesterday, but by the time I was all ready, I ran out of time. I need an extra hour while I’m at the lab. I gotta drink this glucose stuff, wait an hour, then let the doctors stab my rubber suit and steal my blood. 😦 Lol It’s a diabetes test. I remember doing it before with my other pregnancies.
I also still need to book an appointment with the Birthing Centre. My plan is to have a natural birth, but to have the laughing gas there just in case. I refuse to do an epidural. During contractions, maybe have a bath or shower. We shall see.
Since my baby is no longer underweight, an ultrasound is no longer needed. So the sex of my baby is still a mystery. It drives us a bit stir crazy, because we know that relatives want to know the sex of the baby, so that they can start buying clothing and what not. But nope. He/ she remains a mystery baby.
Which reminds me, we had to think of a different name if our baby is a boy. My partners father told my partner that Adelaide is a girls name, and that kinda made my partner insecure. So he asked if we could change it. Rather than having Adelaide as a first name, it will remain a middle name for either sex of the baby. If you recall, we were going to name a girl; Lily Adelaide King Wuytenburg. And for a boy, Adelaide Derek King Wuytenburg. Well…for the boy, that’s changed. And since my partner speaks of his grandfather so highly, We decided on a shortened version of his grandfathers name, instead of Martin, Marty. So if our baby is a boy, Marty Adelaide King Wuytenburg. Adelaide will remain in the name because of the meaning/ history behind it. It just won’t be used for a first name, because I guess that would be “too embarrassing.”
Ya know? My ex used to be all insecure about our sons name, Anakin. Just because his loser friends mocked and made fun of it. But look at it now. Anakin is one of the most popular names in the U.S. AND when people meet our son, they love his name. I knew it was a good name! 🙂
Anyways, there’s a lot that has happened. I mean, my doctors appointments are now every 2 weeks… We’re trying to get ready for the baby…getting things here and there. So on and so forth. I think that’s enough for this blog post anyways, you don’t need all the details. Just whatever is on my mind. So yeah, until next time, peace and love! – Pooks
“The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.”
– Oscar Wilde
Long time no see!
I apologize for not blogging much lately. I think it’s been 2 weeks or so since the last time I blogged. But with Christmas rapidly approaching, we’ve been kinda busy. However, we think that my son and my daughter will have a good Christmas. Thanks to everyone that pitched in to help make this possible, wither it be through providing gifts, or money for gifts. You’re awesome! Miigwech!
Anyways, my last two Leads appointments went well. We started a module on confidence, and it turns out that my confidence isn’t as low as I had thought. It’s pretty good considering. However, pinpointing my insecurities, or admitting my insecurities was quite difficult. I got all teary eyed. But yeah, I had to state what goes through my mind, and what could have started those negative thoughts that belittle me and hold me back. It all goes back to my childhood, and the abusive foster mom. Fuck her!
I guess I need to talk about shit more until it no longer has any effect on me. But that’s the problem, as an introvert, I don’t talk about these things. In fact, I would rather try to forget. Even though that doesn’t really work, obviously. Ya know? I can move on with my life, but somewhere in the back of my mind these memories still exist, and haunt me when I am trying to move up in my life. So yeah, I need to speak about it verbally. That’s going to be a challenge. Talking about things and people I would rather pretend didn’t even exist.
Thankfully, I have my partner, and I know when I’m ready, he will listen.
But that’s enough of that. That’s some internal shit I need to work on that could in the end improve my confidence.
Umm… what else? Last week we made snow flakes out of paper at Leads. Just doing something fun and creative before the holidays. This wasn’t your ordinary fold and cut kind of snow flake. So thanks to my worker for teaching me something new. The one I made turned out pretty cool, and it is now hanging on my front door. So instead of your typical Christmas wreath, I have this cool looking snowflake! 🙂
At the New School of Colour, I completed a painting that has that H.R Giger Xenomorph resemblance. Which is pretty cool since I was not copying from any images, it was straight out of my head/ memory, and it came pretty close. People can tell where the inspiration came from.
As for the background, I was trying to paint without the bristles of a paintbrush. So I’d use the other end. Or I would find other objects to use. Such as the cap to my Gatorade, or the lid to my Lays Chips container. So on and so forth. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I brought it home so that my partner can put a clear coat on it, since I can’t really do that on my own. Being pregnant and all. I have to be more careful around things that involve chemicals.
Last week, my mind kinda went blank. So I was working on some zentangles just for the hell of it.
Which reminds me, the current facilitator said that he’d try to get my art work into the library. Kind of like a small solo exhibit. That’s cool. I mean, I’ve been with the New School of Colour since 2011, and still haven’t had a solo art exhibition yet. Maybe it’s about time.
Umm… Within these last 2 weeks I also submitted some of my photography into something called “Colouring London”. Similar to what I have participated in the past with my photography, “Colouring between the Lines”. It is run by the same person that did the “Colouring between the Lines” exhibition a year or two ago, Lincoln McCardle. The difference is, this time around, the photographs submitted that get converted into colouring pages will become part of a colouring book. That’s cool. The proceeds will go to a local charity. There’s still time to get involved, so if you are a London, ON photographer, you can submit your work to the following FB page:
This past weekend my daughter was teaching me some French that she’s been learning at school. So that’s pretty awesome. She knows more words than I do. According to her report card, she’s doing well in school.
However, when it comes to an education, my son is falling more and more behind. From my perspective, both the school and my ex are responsible. The school, because it’s like they don’t want my son around. So even though my ex has been bringing my son to school, the school just sends our son back home shortly after. I can understand why my ex would get fed up, and decide to pull our son out of school. That goes on long enough, it’s like, what’s the point of bringing him in, if the school is just going to send him back home anyways. However, the homeschooling hasn’t really started, and according to my daughter, my son just sleeps all day. And sometimes I think my ex is capable of teaching our son, other times… I worry. I mean, an education is not watching Infowars. He needs to learn to read and write, and do math, and learn other skills that would benefit his future. Perhaps even learning a trade if all else fails. Infowars, and conspiracy theories won’t do that. I mean, our son has got to learn to take care of himself one day, and at this rate, it’s not looking so good. He’s not motivated to learn anything. It seems like his only interest is videogames. So as his mother, I am concerned. How do you teach someone that doesn’t want to learn? Or maybe noone has found the way to teach him yet. I mean, educational institutions focus on one way of learning, and that is auditory. Not everyone learns that way. Some people, like myself, are more visual and kinaesthetic.
Anyways, that’s a little mind boggling. I mean, I only see my children on weekends, so there is only so much I can do. My time is limited. So my sons education basically lies in the hands of the primary caregiver, my ex. Hopefully he can figure something out. Our son doesn’t need to fall more behind than he already is.
Other than that, my visits with my children have been going well. they’re good children. Even though my partner feels as if my son is being a bit resistant towards him. That whole “You’re not my father” kinda thing. But my man can understand, and has been pretty patient. I mean, he too has grown up with step dads in his life. So yeah, he can understand my son in that regard more than my son realizes. Lol
Before I forget, I want to mention that over the weekend I finally did a Christmas window painting. I painted the Grinch on the front window of my house, and I guess it turned out pretty good. I mean, the neighbors across the street asked my partner where we bought it from. I guess they thought it was one of those peel and stick on things you put on your window. Haha! Nope! My man proudly answered and said that I painted it, and that he’s always amazed with the things I can paint.
Umm.. what else? We’ve been preparing for our baby. Thank you to Angie Cooke from the Hamiltion Rd/ OEV Buy Nothing Group for giving us a crib. And thank you to the kind lady that traveled all the way from Strathroy to give us a stroller. That takes care of two major pricey baby items we’ll be needing in the near future. The crib we got for free. As for the stroller, we probably paid only the quarter of the price of a brand new one. In the long run, that will help us out financially.
While I’m saying my thank you’s. I want to thank my good friend Melly for coming with me t o the Mall last week to do some Christmas shopping. It helps to go with someone that is familiar with the malls. 🙂
As for a baby update, my next doctor appointment is early January, and I believe my next ultrasound will be scheduled then. However I am happy to say that I can feel my baby kick more often. It’s kicks are getting stronger. So he or she must be growing. 🙂
Oh that reminds me, we did pick out names for our baby, even though we don’t know the sex yet.
For a girl: Lily Adelaide King Wuytenburg
For a boy: Adelaide Derek King Wuytenburg
We got the name Lily from my daughter. She actually suggested Lily tiger ( I think she meant Tiger Lily). But we thought the name Lily alone had a ring to it.
As for Adelaide, that is the name of the street that holds a lot of my partner and I’s relationship history. My man gave me his number to me twice on Adelaide Street. We’ve been for dates on Adelaide. We went grocery shopping on Adelaide. We both lived east of Adelaide. Our baby was even conceived on Adelaide. Lol The list goes on and on.
Derek, because that is my mans name. And my man has his fathers name for a middle name. so were kinda passing on the tradition so to speak.
King is my biological last name.
Wuytenburg is my mans last name.
So yaaay! We have a name. We actually picked those out months ago, but I just forgot to mention it here. Now you know.
Anyways, I think this is turning into quite the novel, so I shall end it here. Hard to believe Christmas is 2 days away already. But I am excited. It’s been awhile since I have celebrated Christmas with my son and daughter. I am looking forward to it. So I guess that leaves me with one more thank you. Thank you to my ex for allowing me to have our children over at my place for Christmas. It means a lot!
Oh, and thank you to the readers that actually take the time to read this whole blog post. Lol I know, it’s a long one. But then again, I’ve been M.I.A for 2 weeks. So yeah, a nice long blog post should make up for my absence. Hope you enjoyed the read. Peace and Love! – Pooks
I know it’s been awhile since I blogged. I believe I skipped a week. But some time away doesn’t hurt once in awhile.
Anyways, umm… what are the major things that have been happening. Besides the obvious, preparing for Christmas. This year I get to have my children over for Christmas, so that’s going to be awesome. My son requested to have an awesome Christmas dinner, with banana bread and cheese cake for dessert. We shall see what we can do. As in my partner and I.
Not only that but we have also been trying to prepare for our baby that is on the way. We managed to find a play pen for a good deal at a nearby second hand store. That was awesome. And My man’s sister gave us a bunch of stuff for the baby, a changing mat, clothes, bibs, etc. etc. Even though we do not know the sex of our baby.
Which reminds me, I might be getting an ultrasound sooner than expected. During my last doctor appointment, the doctor said my baby is underweight. I found that devastating. Because now Dr. M. Kennedy, like most doctors with a native patient, jump to the worst conclusions. Oh she’s native, she must be on drugs, or drinking alcohol. He was getting ready to call C.A.S, which upset and totally pissed me off. I mean, C.A.S has interfered enough with my life, like half of it. And this freakin doctor wanted to call them just because I “have a history with them.” He said, “They are there to help.” Hahaha! Bullshit! Not with my experience. They are there to help white people, the Capitalists, and the genocide. To rid people of colour in their ideal society.
I mean, years ago, it was a doctor at Victoria Hospital that got C.A.S involved back when my son was a baby. That judgmental, discriminating jackass jumped to conclusions and rather than testing me to see what’s up. He automatically accuses me of coming down off of crack, when truthfully, as the nurses found out after the fact, I had a breast infection; mastitis. These doctors should do their jobs rather than jumping to conclusions based on race. That’s very unprofessional. So yeah, haven’t really trusted doctors since. I hate them all equally.
Anyways, back to recent times, another doctor came in and said that they won’t be calling C.A.S because they are not concerned. However, they will be monitoring the baby’s growth throughout my pregnancy. Which is why they want another ultrasound done soon.
I have to make sure my following appointments land on Mondays, so I get the same 2 doctors as last time. They want to be the ones to follow my pregnancy, and be there when I’m in labour. The Victoria Family Medical Centre doctors work in alternating teams. So yeah, if I book a different day, different doctor. I don’t mind the female doctor, but the male one, ooooooh… he got on my bad side for even mentioning C.A.S. However, I will remain co-operative. I know what could be stunting the growth of my baby, caffeine and smoking.
Anyways, after my appointment, my man came home to me crying. I’m so fortunate to have him there as support. Even when I’m all emotional. Right away he started to do some research on healthy foods that can help with weight gain during pregnancy, and went shopping for those foods. So yeah, even my diet has changed. I try to avoid drinking beverages with caffeine. We’re even being more careful with the kind of teas I drink, since there are teas that have caffeine within them. So yeah, sticking to more fruity, non caffeinated teas. Mornings are rough without some kind of caffeine, but I’ll manage. As for smoking, I smoked maybe 10 per day, and have been cutting back. Maybe I’ll be able to ween myself off them eventually. Fingers crossed! It’s not an easy habit to kick, I’ve tried and failed before.
Other than that, I missed my Leads appointment last week. I misplaced my bus pass, which turned out to be right under my nose the whole time. Go figure. I mean, since it’s getting colder, I wear a hoodie, a fleece vest ( since I can’t zip up my coat over my tummy), and my winter coat. So yeah, lots of pockets. Anyways, my bus pass was in my sweater, under all the layers the whole time. Ughh… Luckily, I was able to re-book. I mean I was looking forward to my appointment. I was just about to head out the door, and yeah, missing bus pass.
At the last appointment I attended at Leads, my worker noticed that I was fidgeting with my bus transfer as we talked. By the time I was done folding it, she said it looked like a snowflake. So that gave her the idea to make snowflakes at the next appointment. So I was curious to see if that was actually going to happen. Were we actually going to make paper snowflakes? Not your regular kind of Leads appointment. Haha! Creativity is contagious. I love it!
So yeah, I’ll see her tomorrow and find out.
As for the New School of Colour, I completed a small acrylic painting last week, and will probably be starting something new this evening. While I’m there, my man said that is when he will be buying me a Christmas gift, and stashing it somewhere in the house. Lol
Speaking of painting, I still have to create something for the Twitter Art Exhibit, the last piece I was working on got messed up because I spilled tea all over it. So yeah, got to make another.
I also want to paint my front window with a Christmas theme this year. I got some tips from the former New School of Colour facilitator, since I knew he did that kind of thing at The Ark in the past. The thing is, finding the time. Newho, yeah, best of luck to him wherever life takes him. We was talking about getting a PH.D and becoming a doctor in the past. Maybe that’s what he’s doing. Good luck fellow rainbow ninja! We all know how much I love doctors. Hahaha! Maybe he will turn out to be a decent one. Who knows?!
During my last visit with my kids, we went for a walk to the park, and then wondered down streets we’ve never been down. I think I have a good sense of direction, so we didn’t get lost. Lol
Anyways, that’s life lately. Thank you for reading! Peace and Love! – Pooks
“Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.”
– Lemony Snicket