Precious Flower

I guess it’s time for this week’s blog post eh?
I’ll start with some failed drama that I found rather amusing. When was it? Last Friday? Yeah, anyways, I had gotten some crazy private messages on Facebook from a woman I don’t even know. So who is she? Turns out shes a friends mother, and this friend visits me and my partner at least once a week. I don’t mind. It gives my man his man time, because for the remainder of the week, there’s just me, him, and 3 female shiatsu’s. So he’s surrounded by estrogen. Haha!
Anyways, the messages were pretty outrageous. But then again, my partner has been very open with me, and has told me of her before. He met her years ago at Pathways. She’s basically a cougar that has a thing for him. And as far as these messages go, she was attempting to start shit. Saying that my man was spreading rumours of having a threesome with her. Umm… She wishes. What else? Because my man’s ex stole something from her, I’m not welcome to her home and not trusted. Umm… okay? First off, I’m not his ex, or anything like her. His ex sounds psychotic and kinda butchy. But whatever. No loss there. I don’t really know this woman that was apparently trolling my Facebook, and probably noticed whom I am in a relationship with. So yeah, I think she’s just jealous. Can’t blame her, I do have a sexy man. Haha!
He was worried this drama would effect our relationship, but nope. I reassured him that I believe in him, and what he tells me is the truth. Plus he’s told me numerous times how he feels about dating older people, he doesn’t agree with it. Sure, I am older, by 3 years, but we’re both in our 30’s. He’s not interested in someone that is old enough to be his mother basically. Lol So yeah. So not stressing over that. I just found it amusing how she thought trolling my Facebook and sending me messages would possibly change things. I mean she even said something along the lines that my man better not go crying to her when I break up with him. As far as I’m aware, we’re about to have a baby together, and we’re both on the same page of making our relationship work.
Anyways, I showed the messages she had sent me to my man, and to her son. Both of them were just like; wow, what the the fuck? Her son advised me to block her, saying I don’t need that bullshit, especially being 9 months pregnant. So I did. Poof! She’s gone from harassing the Pooks. Communication is key. 😉
So yeah. Once again, another woman that can’t respect a couples relationship. Smh.
On to other things. According to the doctor at my last appointment, I could be going into labour any day now. For the most part I feel ready. I mean, I’ve been meeting up with a doula, and has been giving me some ideas of things to do during contractions. Things I’ve never tried before, and could make the birth go more smoothly. Before I was just kinda on my back with my legs spread during the whole labour, focused on my doctors instructions. This time could be a little different. Plus, since it’s my man’s first time ever experiencing child birth, having a doula there for support can come in handy for him too. To help him calm down if he gets anxious, overwhelmed, or freaks out. Lol
I had an ultrasound yesterday, and once again our baby kept it’s legs closed. Modest, and stubborn little thing. Lol Anyways, the lady that was giving me the ultrasound said that she isn’t 100% sure, but she thinks we’re having a girl. ❤

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All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

I’m kinda jumping all over the place. Umm… over the weekend my daughter was over. She gave me some belated valentine’s cards that she made. My favorite is the minion.

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All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

My man even took us to the Kinsmen Fanshawe Sugar Bush. We got to go on a horse buggy ride tour. I was impressed with the volunteers there. They knew their stuff, and even brought up some Ojibwe heritage/ history, which I found quite respectful.  So yeah, needless to say, I was thoroughly impressed to see they did their research. Not only that, but I noticed that some of the proceeds they make through donations go to supporting the Ark Aid Street Mission. Yaaaay!! It’s like a family outing that is giving back to muh peeps! 🙂

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All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

My daughter was a little rude to my man afterwards. That whole step dad thing. He tried to give her souvenirs from the Kinsmen Fanshawe Sugar Bush. But she rejected it.
She opened up and said her dad had a step dad, and he wasn’t a good man. Well no he wasn’t. He was a pedophile. But not all step parents are bad people.
So yeah, clearly still got some work to do.
It was my idea to go to the Sugar Bush to do something together. So that maybe my kids ( or in this case, just my daughter) can get to know my man better. It was a good attempt, but yeah. Things are still a bit bumpy. Normally my man keeps himself busy over the weekend with chores and whatnot, while I have my visit.
With Spring and Summer around the corner, that might get us out of the house more and doing things together more often. Gradually of coarse, because we’ll have a baby with us.
That’s another thing. I haven’t been to the New School of Colour for a couple weeks now. However I may make an attempt this evening. Fingers crossed that I don’t go into labour while I’m out and about. Haha! But yeah, I was talking to the facilitator via text messages, and I was surprised that he would be willing to try to get the New School of Colour hours changed so that they better fit my schedule after my baby is born. So rather than having evening sessions, possibly switching to afternoon sessions. I was also surprised by how welcomed my baby is. I mean, I’ve overheard artists in the past talk about children attending the Ark Aid Street Mission location of the New School of Colour, and they weren’t too fond of the idea. So it did have me concerned about me bringing in a baby, which can be more chaotic than 3 little girls. But yeah, it’s cool to see I have support from a place I cherish. He said it’s actually expected that I bring my baby. So yeah, how awesome is that?! My baby will be surrounded by creativity. ❤

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All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of the New School of Colour©

Anyways, what else? My man gets to be the boss so to speak for the next two weeks at work. That’s so awesome that he’s being trusted with such a huge responsibility. Kinda weird in a way too, because now the tables have turned, and it’s his dad asking him what to do. Not that long ago it was the other way around. So yeah, I’m very proud of my man. He’s doing amazing. 🙂
Anyways, that’s enough blogging for today. I’m going to miss hugging my belly, but soon I’ll be hugging my baby.
This pregnancy has been very pleasant. I’m relaxed, and happy. I think I have my partner to thank for that. I’m not all insecure. How can I be when my man compliments me everyday? I am always reassured that I am his precious flower. Lol I used to call myself a flower whenever I wore dresses, which is really rare. And if I got rained on, I would rant and say “I AM NOT A FLOWER! ” Lol Silliness.
Anyways, thanks for reading! Much love- Pooks

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Two left Standing

Well here I am, writing again. Twice in one day. Actually, now it’s past midnight, so technically it’s the next day. I just think of it as the same day because I have not slept yet.

The reason for me writing again is because my biological family had a bit of a scare tonight. We almost lost someone valuable to us.

My cousin found out that her mother was hospitalized, and that she was drinking and nearly froze to death. My heart sank when I read that on Facebook. As I’ve mentioned before, freezing to death is how two of my uncles passed away, and my grandmother.

My aunt and my uncle are the only elders left of the Kings. There’s only two left standing. And the way I see it, they are the closest connections I got to my deceased Mother, and any family history that we may have. So yes, it would be a tragic loss if either of those two were to die.

The good news is, my aunt is okay, and is recovering.

My cousin is pretty hurt, angry, sad, worried…a whole bunch of emotions regarding my aunts addiction to alcohol. Understandable, it is her mother in the hospital. Of coarse she’s going to be frantic.

Sadly substance abuse is how a lot of our people cope with life as a native. Many residential school survivors use substances to bury the pain and trauma. It’s not really an excuse, but the truth of our cultures past reality. It clearly still has an impact to this day. Very devastating.

I remember when I went up north for the family reunion, My Aunt, another relative and I went to the bar. My aunt did drink quite a bit. I don’t think she remembers telling me what she told me regarding her own experiences in a residential school. She kept her head down, her back hunched, what I saw and heard was a woman in severe emotional pain. I listened and hugged her. What she shared with me, I will not repeat. I think she trusted me with that, which is why she told me. That is her truth, that I hope she can gain the courage to share wide open one day. Anyways, I didn’t drink that night. I drank lots of Pepsi and 7Up though. It’s a good thing too, because I was able to walk my Aunt back to where we were staying. Too bad nobody sober was with her this time around.

Regardless, I am glad she is okay, and that we didn’t lost another King. I worry about those two, my Aunt and my Uncle. They are homeless. So yeah, it’s hard to keep track of where they are, and how they’re doing.

However, there is a way to help somewhat, by helping their local emergency shelter. I just checked the Aviva website, even though the shelter didn’t fund-raise enough,  or get enough votes, there’s still an option to donate to the Red Lake Area Emergency Shelter. So if you can donate, please do. Miigwech in advance.

https://www.avivacommunityfund.org/ideas/acf19439

I think I’ll finish this post off with a poem written by my Aunt. One of my favorites. If you like it, find her on FB and inquire about her book; A Book of Poetry. Anyways, here it goes;

An Indians Tears

In the realm of my dreams

no artistry comes to mind this artist has become blind

eyes that once shone with pride

behind dark glasses, they now hide

memories of days gone by

remembering, she begins to cry

“Indians don’t cry”, so they say

their pride won’t let them anyway

Too often I have cried in sorrow

wishing only for a better tomorrow

this Indian woman is not too proud to cry

you have witnessed my tears, and yet, don’t ask “why?”

is it out of respect or out of shame

that you huddle close, as you whisper my name

Don’t worry yourselves so

for I already know

my tears are a hindrance to you all

But, they will continue to fall

who knows when this face will smile again

who will be around to ease the pain

no answers reach my ears

as your eyes now too, fill with tears

don’t hang your heads in shame

for, our tears have a name

-FREEDOM-

 © 2008 Sarah Jane King

Thanks for reading. I know my family has it’s problems, but I love them. Society played it’s part when it comes to colonialism. There’s no doubt about that. So there is no point in blaming the victim. Maybe it’s time to wake up and take a real good look at how First Nations people are treated, in the past, AND in the present. Perhaps it’s time to make a right in a more positive direction. Fuck your racist elitists!

Just the fact that I can relate to my aunts poems regarding racism, and being native in this world, scares me. Especially because she wrote those poems years ago, and I am the next generation. Wow. that is pretty shocking. Are our children going to feel this pain as well? – Pooks

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching

— they are your family. ”- Jim Butcher