Observations of an Idealist

Okie dokie. Blog day!

I think I’ll start off with some thoughts here and there that I have been thinking about. One recent, one I jotted down on paper. Then I’ll review and reflect on my week. Here it goes…

So I went to The Ark for dinner ( I’m saving the food I have at home for my kids), and Sanctuary was volunteering. I don’t know who was the volunteer wearing the dark grey sweater, red shirt, and red ball cap, but he was just being a dink. An elderly man that usually comes down to the New School of Colour to socialize asked for shrimp, and not the pasta. They were mixed together in a pasta salad. Anyway, this guy was like, “Really?” Then he was trying to tell the other volunteer to not to serve him. Or only give him 2 shrimps. Really?!! You’re gonna deny a guy in need of food?! And did you ever think that maybe there is a reason some of the people specifically ask for one thing and not the other? Some people do that if they have allergies!! No need to be stingy . There’s not many people there at this time of month, so there is plenty to go around!! Yeah, I wasn’t impressed with that guy. Luckily for this respected regular, I gave him the shrimp I got because I don’t normally eat shrimp. Not a fan of the texture. Newho, he appreciated that and chowed down.

Moving on…to the things I wrote down on paper… let me find my notes. Yes. I actually wrote some notes this time! Haha!

I was thinking how some online activists say they don’t, or won’t, post meaningless, worthless posts like “you” do. They normally say that when someone has a different perspective aside from their own. There is a flaw in that. I mean they are trying to reach the people, but abuse and belittle the people instead. So what they are trying to achieve is compromised by behaving just like the people they are fighting against, the capitalists.

I mean, FB posts, tweets, whichever social media you use, those are your thoughts or things you relate to that you share. So they do have sentimental value. Your thoughts matter, and anyone  that says they don’t are wrong and pig-headed. Shame on these activists for being so bias, for thinking they are better, smarter and superior than others based on what they post via social media.

Besides, majority of these online activists don’t really share their thoughts or interpretations, they just share articles. Thus, being an echo of someone else’s thoughts that is not their own.

Not to mention, if they were so “intelligent”, than they would at least notice their own behavior as abusive and non-effective. But they just keep repeating the same bullshit whenever someone disagrees with their opinion.

They act like the religious organizations, and other social institutions, as they try to force their thoughts to become your thoughts. There is no respect or acceptance for anyone that may question or think differently.

That is a huge problem in this world, and they aren’t making it any better.

Perhaps these activists need to take a different approach regarding communication if they really want to make a difference. Is behaving like your enemy going to get you the results you desire? No. Just the continuation of this vicious violent abusive cycle. Not very peaceful, is it?

Hence why I backed out of activism, especially around here. There must be a better way to reach others without force and abuse.

I can only hope the things I do in my life-time inspire others to do some kind of positive action.

Language, verbal, and written communication does have it’s barriers. We don’t all speak the same native tongue. And online or text communication often leads to a lot of misunderstandings. But as an artist, I know one form of communication that is universal, and that is through imagery. Which is probably why I’d rather put more focus into my art, than be another ranting online activist trying to shove my opinion down your throats.

Yeah, I once admired their efforts, and their cause, but after so many abusive interactions, I’ve had enough. That is not progress. Besides, The best thing for me, or anyone really,  is to take myself out of abusive situations. Until they see that for themselves, and try something different, than no progress will be made.

Besides, I like to post whatever the fuck I want via. social media. Not just bad news. I like to think of myself as silly, fun, and spontaneous like a Jester. I can make people laugh, smile, lift spirits, and inspire. I feel like I lose that part of me focusing only on the negatives in this world. There are positive things too, you just need to seek them out.

Yes, the Capitalists are sick, twisted, greedy scum. But I won’t allow their bullshit to turn me into a bitter person. I know I am stronger than that.

Now onto my review of my week… the personal life of Pooks.

I should probably start off with last Friday, when I had a 4 hour visit with my children outdoors. It was a cold day, but I think we did our best to make the best of it. We tried go park hopping, but that didn’t quite work out. I didn’t have the proper footwear to be out on a field of wet grass. Cold wet feet, not good. So instead, we went into the conservation area. It was less cold in there since the trees kind of sheltered us from the wind. The paths were mostly ice, so I didn’t have to worry about getting a soaker. We had fun, chasing each-other down the trails.

Saturday, that was soup and sandwich night at The Ark. I went there the friend I’ve reunited with. Somewhere within the week, we went a couple walks downtown. We even went for this long hike for Vanilla Coke, but got mocha’s instead. I’ve missed her over the years, and it’s good to have her back in my life. It’s good to have my walking buddy back, and we just go on random adventures. It’s always fun.

On Tuesday, during a Leads appointment, we were figuring out what kind of learner I am. Which I think I am both a hands on, and visual learner. I also did a personality test, and once again my result was… the Idealist. INFP- Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling Perceiving. Not surprised. That’s result I get for every personality test I do. I believe that’s the same result I got 2-3 years ago. Still the same! If your interested on reading the portrait of an INFP, the link is provided below ( It makes me laugh because I do in fact relate to the result) :

https://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html

In the possible career selection for an INFP, it listed the following jobs; Writers, Counselors/Social Workers, Teachers/ Professors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Musicians, Clergy/Religious Workers. It makes sense with the writer thing. Heck, I’m blogging right now. Umm.. my worker suggested maybe to try teaching, but yeah, I said I don’t feel courageous or confident enough for that yet. I’m not very good at explaining things vocally, let alone to a crowd. Large crowds usually give me anxiety. I don’t think I can do the psychologist, or psychiatric thing, I would be absorbing too much negativity. And yeah, that’s never pretty. Haha! A social worker? maybe, that depends. For what cause? Hahaha! So yeah, some possibilities to ponder.

After my Leads appointment, a friend took me out for lunch to Crabby Joe’s. That was a nice way to spend the afternoon. Thanks to my friend that took me out that day!

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Umm… Lately at the New School of Colour, I haven’t really been working on my painting, but more so learning from others. This week an artist came in and showed me how to do this really neat effect with ink, and a glossy coating for texture. The result was amazing!

Art by Pooks. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Art by Pooks. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

That is not the only thing I’ve been learning this week. But another artist from the New School of Colour is actually walking me through step by step on how to measure and cut the matte boards for framing instead of doing it for me. I get to learn how to do it myself…kinda. I kinda messed up the first time, but hey, that’s how we learn, trial and error. Haha! I’m starting to get that it isn’t really that technical, mostly fractions. I’m not that great at math, but hey, it’s good practice.

Afterwards I hung out at a friends apartment, along with another friend. We talked about art, and had a lot of laughs. It was a very inspiring night.

Today I was running errands in the rain, and I got myself new shoes. I had to get my shopping done before all the grocery stores close for the Easter holidays. So yes, I am prepared for this coming weekend when my kids spend a night over. I am looking forward to another awesome weekend!

Newho, this blog post is very very long. Apparently I had a lot to share. I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! – Pooks

“Living in a way that reflects one’s values is not just about what you do, it is also about how you do things.” – Deborah Day

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Into an Abyss of Withdrawal

Honestly, I did not want to write today. But here I am writing anyways. It is just something I have to do. I can’t really explain it, but it is a part of what I am. A passion I can’t let slide no matter how depressed I may be feeling. It is a part of my purpose.

So now you know depression is the issue here. I didn’t want to write and just be a total downer. I’m not one to burden others with my shit. In person, as far as you know; “I’m fine.”

I guess a lot has hit me all at once over the holidays. A supposed best-friend rejects and kicks me to the curb just before Christmas for being “too offensive”. For being too honest. I guess people only say they respect and want honesty until they actually get it.

But then again, this is a person that has flat out told me she doesn’t like and only tolerates this other artist that paints hockey logos. Or as I referred to as the cock-eyed red head. But on Monday, there she is pretending to be all buddy buddy with her. Wow! Bravo! Someone should totally nominate this  woman for an Oscar Award. Her acting is astounding! Too bad this other person isn’t aware of her bullshit. I kinda feel bad she’s being played like that, even though me and this “cock eyed red head” did have our own issues in the past.

I personally would not be able to do that. Live a lie like that. Lying to myself and others. Seems like a shameful, deceitful way to live. But than again, I have come to the realization that not only are majority of the people cowards, but they are also fake ass people pleasers. They are not true to themselves. They are so concerned what the “others” will think about what they say, do, even appear. Clones. People mimicking people’s expectations. Sheep, just following the herd. Cowards that are just constantly lying to themselves. They come off as so rehearsed, saying the same lame catch phrases repeatedly for approval. Do you even know who the fuck you are? Like, seriously, deep down. I doubt it. People waste so much time kissing each-others asses their heads get lost up there. I guess I’m realizing just how rare genuine authentic people really are. How rare I am.

Anyways, maybe it’s karma. Even though I don’t normally believe in karma. I “unfriended” her spontaneously on FB in the past, but I at least gave an explanation and reason. I didn’t even get that. Just a cold shoulder, and a nose in the air. In the past, I did so so that she wasn’t caught in the middle of the drama between the “cock eyed red head” and I. If anything, I was trying to protect her from the drama and bullshit. But in this recent case, this other person isn’t even on FB, the person I was ranting about for snapping at me and making an unnecessary scene for sharing ideas. I guess small minds can’t comprehend that many ideas, they can only discuss gossip about people. Maybe I’ve just outgrown that crowd. Anyways, I was “unfriended” for venting. Wow, that is just fuckin dumb. This clearly shows, I need to make better friends.

Onto the other shit that hit me all at once, such as being ganged up on by fellow Idle No More members for bringing up an issue that affects and reflects on us all. I mean, if the person you steal from is aware that you are apart of Idle No More, yeah, that behavior will reflect on the whole movement. Perhaps I was hoping that whomever stole the 50 flags from the International Indigenous Unity Flag artist would do the honorable thing and either return the flags, or pay for them. It was a long shot hoping it would reach whomever was responsible. But the online bullying attack really put a damper on any hope I had for the movement, for a revolution. Just to see and experience first hand how easily they turn on their own, wow. That was devastating.

The troll on twitter calling me a thief, hobo and tramp. Rude remarks  instantly piss me off. Just ask my ex, he’s a pro at verbal abuse, and he wonders why I won’t take him back. Haha! It pisses me off more so coming from strangers that don’t even know me personally, not that my ex really knows me either and he’s always shooting his mouth off. So who the fuck is he to judge? Ya know? Not only that, but I am so fed up with sexism and discrimination, I get enough of that chauvinistic bullshit from my abusive ex, thank you very much!

Which brings me to another point that’s got me down lately, my children. Not seeing them over the holidays. Not seeing them for two straight weeks. I can’t help but feel blue as the time drags on. Supposedly my visit is scheduled for this upcoming Saturday. We’ll see. Excuse me if I just feel very pessimistic lately. This change affects our schedule we had going. Technically I should have seen them on the 3ird, but I didn’t, obviously. No idea why not. I mean, Merrymount was back open and running. So what’s the fuckin excuse?!

Anyways, as you may recall the personal research I was doing regarding the brain, and communication. Yeah, fuck that! I find myself becoming more withdrawn, not really wanting to engage or interact with people. People cannot be trusted. Everyone will just fuckin hurt you and stomp all over you. That is my conclusion to that.

Sure I attended the New School of Colour on Monday, but I wasn’t there to socialize. I only showed up to paint. Prior to making an appearance, I was saying to myself; “To go, or not to go. That is the question. That is always the question.” It took a lot just to motivate myself to leave the house.

That question pops up a lot lately, especially when it comes to events. “Do I really want to surround myself with people?” Not really.

Other than all that, I have been painting more at home. It temporarily takes my mind off things. Plus since I haven’t landed an actual job in London, I’ve been here for over a decade. I figure why bother trying to mold into your world? Your world sucks. Besides, it’s just not happening. So I might as well just do what I do, and that is art. I’m at a fuck-it-all point when it comes to society and the people in it. I’m just gonna do what the fuck I’m good at, fuck society, and their lame rules and expectations. I will paint and paint until my stone cold heart is content.

So 2015 has started off rather dark, but perhaps it’s only necessary. Pain tends to be what transforms a person. For better or for worse, I don’t know. One thing I can say is, no matter what, I’m going to keep it real and stick to honesty and truth. – Pooks

“The high-minded man must care more for the truth than for what people think.”- Aristotle

NOW FOR THE VISUALS…

Pooks sketch/ diagram of the Creative Process. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Pooks sketch/ diagram of the Creative Process. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

I gave myself a linear perspective assignment. - Pooks/ All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

I gave myself a linear perspective assignment. – Pooks/ All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Acrylic painting by Pooks using a brush and a mallet. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Acrylic painting by Pooks using a brush and a mallet. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Way to Represent!

So I guess I just need to get this out of my head regarding something that occurred online last night. It kinda makes me think that maybe I am not a part of any movement. I am my own entity, a lone wolf.

Apparently 50 flags have been stolen from the artist that created the International Indigenous Unity Flag. There was a status posted, and it was mentioned in the comments. The artist claims it was someone from Idle No More (Ontario) . Someone mentioned they would go speak up about it, and of course didn’t. So I did.

International Indigenous Unity Flag

I was shocked when I read that Idle No More is stealing flags from this artist. I support both. So I went and shared the news with the Idle No More – OFFICIAL public group, on Facebook, and expressed my disappointment. Why are we stealing from an artist that only wants unity?

The response I got was rather disturbing. I was just trying to get the movement to be aware of their actions.  What one of us does effects us all, because we are all one. But no, they could not grasp that. Instead they were focused on the “accusation”, and attacked me. They wanted exact details, names. An exact pin point on who to blame. So they completely missed what the fuck I was trying to say, and yeah, I think I have every right to call them dumb asses! Let’s neglect the part about the stolen flags, and focus on this “accusation” and attack. We are all held accountable damn it!

Anyways, speaking of accusations, while they’re busy saying I’m accusing them, they accused ME of being a sheep, a troll, a person just trying to divide the movement, and that I should go seek professional mental help. I even got labeled as one of “them” (a Capitalist). Are you fuckin kidding me?! Sorry I feel for the artist, and that I actually have some fuckin empathy!! They got down right cruel. Classic online bullying. Bravo! Way to represent Idle No More!

So excuse me if I am starting to think that maybe Idle No More isn’t the movement I thought it was. I mean, if they go attacking their own like that, not cool. They won’t get anywhere behaving like that.

I have been a supporter for over a year now. Matter of fact, I’m one of the only few members of Idle No More in London that actually does try to go out and do shit. Geez! If you only knew how many protests and rallies I’ve gone to wondering where the fuck is Idle No More?! Ughhh… It’s disappointing. Maybe people just like to say they are Idle No More, and not actually BE Idle No More. Just a bunch of dumb ass posers that aren’t actually aware, they’re just looking for a fight and it doesn’t matter against who.

Anyways, I didn’t really get much support from the artist either when this took place. Just a comment saying “I didn’t ask you to do that.” Well then, why the hell did you bitch about it in the first place?! I was defending him, his art, does he have my back? No. Thanks a lot.

If it wasn’t me that spoke up, somebody else would have took the heat and lack of support. But as an artist myself, who has had art stolen before, I can understand. So yeah, I’m going to say something! But since giving a shit blows up in my face, as always…

Fuck Idle No More. Fuck the International Unity Flag. I’m still against Capitalism, but maybe these movements aren’t my thing. I just kinda get alienated out of whatever social circle I get involved with.

For awhile there I was thinking fuck you all! Burn and rot for all I care! I hate people. I hate the world. But then I think of my children. They do deserve better, it’s just too bad there’s too many stupid fuckin cowardly slaves in this world. I’m kind of out numbered there, and it gets very frustrating to even deal with their ignorant stupidity.

I can’t really see Idle No More making any progress if this is how they treat each-other. So count me out. I seek solutions, not immature childish bullshit. And in that moment of time, I was spreading awareness of a situation. But no, they treat Idle No More  like a club where only certain people can be included.

I honestly thought I was one of them. I am an Ojibwe woman fighting for my culture, beliefs and rights. I fight for the land and water. I fight against Capitalism. But no, I’m not one of them, not according to them. Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll just do my own thing on my own. After all, Pooks is an alien. – Pooks

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

Lifted Spirit

Alrighty. Blog day!! 🙂

If you follow me on other social networks, you may have noticed that I am very chipper, “uppity”, today. I don’t even know why. I’m just filled with this unexplainable happiness. I’m optimistic. And the more I see how active activists are, especially today, it just adds to my joy. My hope.

Yes the issues taking place around the world aren’t exactly things to be happy about, but it’s the action, and the voices, and writing of the people that lift my spirits. It just feels like it’s going full force today, and I want to commend that. So to the people, the “activists” that are fighting for change, I love you, and I love what you are doing.

Idle No More, fighting for the environment for all people. Battling against oil, fracking, Capitalism, human rights for the Aniishanabe people… fighting for our following generations so that their land and water isn’t poisoned more than it already is.

Ferguson, for battling against racism and police brutality. As well as the people that held vigils, protests and rallies for Michael, Trayvon, and similar incidents. We are all one. The fact that people of colour are targets, think of Palestine, the Middle East countries that are often targeted, think of the Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women, think of Furguson, Trayvon, and many coloured lives taken by our authority figures without hesitation, such as Dudley George. Think of genocide, targets are the people of colour. Modern society is a white supremacist organization. It’s time to let go of old customs, past beliefs, and live in harmony as one. Ideally one of Canada’s supposed values is diversity. It’s time to live up to it, and accept and love each-other, rather than finding petty reasons to divide ourselves from one another. So thanks to those that are fighting for that change, and that justice. Colour is not a crime. We are all beautiful, and all deserve to be treated with respect.

Occupy and Anonymous, for fighting the battle of the “classes.” Against the 1%, the bourgeoisie, or Capitalists. Fighting against Wall Street, and Federal Reserve Banks.  No one is more privileged than the other.  The monetary fascist system is bullshit. Fuck money, fuck oil. We have the resources, we are capable of creating a world that doesn’t rely on such things that are so destructive to ourselves and our environment. I think we are a smart enough species to evolve past the “rules and regulations” of the 1%. Why we still follow their lead, I have no idea. It’s time to defy, and change.

I am happy to see the International Indigenous Unity Flag at more and more public events. I support the artist that created the flag, Michael Sher, and the whole purpose of it is to encourage unity.  I actually own an International Indigenous Unity Flag, and it hangs in my window. The only difference, I got the artist to sign mine. So yes, I am very proud to have it, and I love what it stands for. The medicine wheel is such a powerful symbol and it holds so much meaning within it. But the most apparent is that we are all one.

I am happy to see more unity when it comes to  the grass-root movements. I am starting to see Occupy, Idle No More, and Anonymous emerge into one, and that is amazing. More and more people are starting to see that whatever issue of oppression we are opposing are all connected. We are stronger together. So I hope this momentum keeps up. We need each-other if we want our visions to become a reality.

I read in the news today about guerrilla tree planters randomly planting more trees in public places. Kudo’s to you! I love trees! We need more. I am happy to see that there are people that recognize the importance of trees. Not only can they supply food, but they also provide our oxygen. We tend to take them for granted.

Also when I see more people attempting to follow Food Not Bombs lead, especially after that incident in Florida  with the Elderly man who fed the poor healthy vegan food and got arrested for it for a number of occasions.  Thank his persistence. I admire that. I hope to see more people as empathetic and compassionate as he is when it comes to the homeless and those in need. Kudo’s to that man, and Food Not Bombs, and the students at Western University who held a Food Not Bombs outside of the UCC to feed their fellow students who are struggling in debt. I see feeding the hungry as noble, not a crime. Food is a right, not a privilege.

Not only that, but there is something that takes place when a meal is public, there is a stronger sense of community. It is more enjoyable to share food and interact with others, than it is being cooped up by yourselves, don’t you think? There’s that sense of unity again. I don’t think that is something that should be condemned, but encouraged. So yeah, fuck the police! Haha!

Newho, I just wanted to thank you all, commend you, and express my immense gratitude. You have the power, you are the change. Believe it! Keep it up. You are all making a difference. – Pooks

“Without deviation, progress is not possible.”

– Frank Zappa

Stirring the Emotional Riot

After an hour of just sitting here contemplating what to write, staring at this blank space…it’s time to write.

I feel like I’ve been trying to avoid what is on my mind. Maybe it will just be better if I get it out.

Next Tuesday there will be a Rally and March in Solidarity with Mike Brown, Ferguson, and all the victims of police violence.  I will be attending, because quite honestly, I think the police don’t hesitate to kill a coloured person in this racist world. It happens way too often. I am reminded of Dudley George, whom was also killed by a police officer.

Colour is not a crime, for some reason we are the targets. Gaza, Palestine, Israel, all colour. Whose supplying the weapons? U.S? U.K? Obviously a wealthy old white man. If you think about Pipeline number 9, where it begins and ends, are aboriginal communities that experience the side effects. I know when I say side effects, it doesn’t sound like much, but literally these communities lives are put at risk. Besides the pipeline, Aamjiwnaang First Nations are exposed to the pollutants in “Chemical Valley”. Many community members there have died from cancer. Apparently, people of colour are on top of the list of extermination.

My ex told me to look of Georgia’s Stone, and what I found was frightful. Carved in stone are the following words; “Maintain humanity under 500,000,000.” That’s just one of the “commandments” written by man. Limiting the population of the earth to 500 million will require the EXTERMINATION of nine-tenths of the world’s people. That means, only 10% whom they choose, will be worthy of living.

Well no wonder your Government is trying to poison you with GMO’s, and fuck up your natural resources, they are literally trying to kill you.

As for the police, they supposedly serve and protect. Serve and protect who? Definitely not the people. I mean, they’ll show up at peaceful rallies and make arrests no problem. Yet, our Government is full of criminals, and not a single arrest is made. Instead of fighting for peace, they fight against it. The only thing they serve and protect are the interests of the Capitalists.

I think what these police officers fail to see is that without their uniform, they too are just one of the people. Not the 1%, but part of the 99%.

I fear for all people of colour, as well for anyone within the working-class or lower.  I fear for my children that are being brought up into all this. My son has already experienced some discrimination in the education system, and he’s not even 10 years old yet.

Racism seems to be an ancient form of hate we keep passing on. Partly why I turned away from religion. After doing some research and realizing it teaches people to hate each-other, and doesn’t allow people to think for themselves.

I don’t believe in a heaven, and I don’t believe in a hell. I believe those are nothing but fiction, made to induce fear so the elites can control you. The only heaven and hell there is, is what we make it here on earth. And unfortunately, too many people would rather make it a living hell. Especially the people in power. They are the ones promising you eternal life if you slave your asses off for them, so they can continue to live in luxury. Not only that, but the bible gives off the impression that if you make money, you are worthy to go to heaven. If that doesn’t make you think, or question it all, then what the fuck? Like seriously, they try to convince you, or already have for majority of the religious population, that everything will be better when you are dead. You are expected to waste your life, serving them like a machine for their sake. Meanwhile, maybe your purpose here is far greater than that.

I believe each life is valuable. Unlike capitalists that value money over life. I believe every single person was given their own unique gift to contribute to the land, and to each-other. Not for the capitalists selfish needs.

The way things are going saddens and concerns me. In a way I wish the people would just go on a Global Riot. Show your pain, show them your hurting. Tear their system down. I don’t mean to go hurting each-other, these are times when we need each-other the most.  Our differences and false illusions that separate us from each-other need to be put aside. Your blood is as red as mine. Sometimes, in order to change things, you need to deviate. It won’t happen if you’re too scared. Make as much noise as you can, because your life matters, you are valuable, and the generations that follow, their lives matter too. – Pooks

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Release the Closed Door

Blog day! And there are a few things that are on my mind, completed unrelated to each-other. So I guess the question is, where to begin.

Things are going good with the visits with my kids, but as I’ve mentioned before there are some annoying things I have to put up with when it comes to my ex. Such as he thinks he knows me so well, or his idea of me, yeah that gets really annoying. He clearly doesn’t know me at all. Obviously. I mean, he was trying to tell me that I was all devastated when I turned 30 years old.  That I was all miserable about aging and that I was trashed on my 30th birthday. First off, he wasn’t there, so who the fuck is he to say what happened, he doesn’t have the slightest clue. Secondly, whoopidee shit. I’m in my 30’s.  Thanks to my Mama, Elizabeth King, for good genes, no one believes I’m 31 half the time anyways. Haha! I’m always getting I.D’ed at convenient stores. I guess the way I dress doesn’t help. I like to play with both “genders roles” when it comes to how I dress. Half female, half male… I’m pretty sure I’ve made my fascination with androgyny apparent. Thank you Diana Thorneycroft! Ever since I saw her photography back in high-school, I have seen androgyny as an art. I see nothing but beauty within in it.

Anyway, yeah, I’m pretty sure I blogged what happened on my 30th birthday here on WordPress. I was invited for dinner with 2 very sweet Christian friends of mine, whom eventually moved out to Saskatchewan. They made me a steak dinner, baked an awesome cake, we played around on the acoustic guitar, and yeah, we had some Crown Royal and Coke, but didn’t get plastered as my ex likes to assume. He doesn’t know, and has never met these fabulous friends of mine, so he has no right to say shit about their character. Let alone mine, considering our contact got cut off around that time. Thank god, because I was getting verbally abused through text messages by my ex. So it was a good thing I lost my cell, and all contact was cut off for a period of time. I has given time to actually heal so to speak.

Normally, I don’t drink. My thing is normally coffee. If I’m an addict of anything, it is caffeine. But lately, I’ve had a couple nights out with a friend that is visiting for the summer, a former co- facilitator of the New School of Colour. Matter of fact, she will be opening up and facilitating on Wednesdays starting next week, just for the month of August. Anywho, no I didn’t get plastered, my limit is 3 beers. Not what my ex called ” a beer” either. He used to call one of those large bottles “a beer”, which is like 3 in one. Whatever. I had a nice happy buzz at the St. Regis Tavern. On our second night there, after meeting up for coffee at Fire Roasted Coffee Company and creating some art ( I experimented and surprised myself drawing with the opposite hand), I got to watch her perform with her ukelele. Even the New School of Colour’s/ Old East Village media dude came out. That was cool. Lots of fun. There was lots of talent there during Open Mic Night.

I mean, my ex acts like I’m this social drunk person. But no, I’m an introverted hermit. I’m indoors, in my home majority of the time. I think the world is overwhelming and chaotic, and to avoid any anxiety, I normally stay in. Unless, I’m invited out by familiar people I know. I guess I’m like a vampire that way. You have to invite me first. Unless you are Julie or Ducky, whom, I visit spontaneously without notice. Haha!

Anyway, enough about that. I could explain myself 1000’s times, but my ex will just continue to think what he thinks. He has convinced himself that I am someone I am not. That’s his problem. It’s all in your head nut bar!

Newho, enough about him and his nonsense. It’s out of my system, let’s carry on!

My friend visiting from Montreal has asked a rather interesting question, what is it about creating art with other people? I guess she wants to pin point on that energy that takes place within the New School of Colour, and places like it. I do admit, creating art on my own, say at home, is a lot different than it is surrounded by other artists. But than again, at home alone, motivation can be a struggle. Even inspiration mind you. I mean, I was going to paint on the lid of a tin cookie container. I painted it black, and that was it. I hit a dead end. Haha! Although at the New School of Colour, idea’s tend to flow more easy. That might be because I am surrounded by art, and inspired by it. Not only that, but when you’re alone, idea’s can become stagnant. What I mean by stagnant is, you produce what you know, rather than actually pushing yourself to create something more challenging. In an environment where there is constant creating, there is that opportunity to learn from others around you, and grow. Hence, why I once defined the New School of Colour as a garden within an artist statement of mine, and why I keep returning.  I’ve been going since 2011, and the artists there just keep improving at their own pace. It truly is magical to see. As for motivation, we all become fans of each-others work, there is a lot of encouragement and praise that takes place within it. Each artist plays a role of inspiration. Even if you don’t think you’re that experienced, you could be inspiring to another artist within that studio. It doesn’t have to be the art. It could be the stages, the progress, the amount of effort put into your work, the passion. There is no doubt, that it is a positive environment, and I probably just touched base on the tip of it’s nose. There is a lot more to it, that energy that takes place, to define. I think to have an art therapist explore more on that, would be interesting to see. The information they gather from it all. I am just one perspective, one artist. There is a lot more perspectives to see through in our underground art studio. It’s quite amusing that our studio is underground, it’s like our secret little hide out. We go in and gather in our basement studio down under, and we come out splashing the community with art!

Besides all that, this month is almost over, and I will soon be back on Ontario Works, because the Dean of Art and Humanities at the University thinks I need to focus on my mental health, and what not. “I am happy to see that you are now seeking support, but I do believe that you to resolve the issues that have plagued you before you return to school rather than during your time at school. For this reason, and the fact that little was done to address your difficulties at the time they arose,  I have to deny your petition..” Haha! “Resolve”. That’s cute. Dude! I’ve been passed on from councilor to councilor ever since I was 6 years old. Now, if those “professionals” couldn’t help me “resolve” whatever is supposedly wrong with me, it’s likely it’s not going to be resolved. It’s permanent. It’s just finding what will help me cope through my waves of anxiety and depression without being doped up on prescribed drugs. I refuse to go there.

The whole, I am NOW seeking support. Sure I may not be consistent. But don’t tell me I’m not seeking support, I have. For years mind you, it’s not just a recent thing. Not to mention, when you get that freakin depressed, to the point your shutting the world out, it’s not an easy thing to suddenly snap out of. But then again, this guy clearly doesn’t understand anything regarding mental health issues.

Not to mention, that the way the economy is headed, and the global issues of today. There’s going to be more people experiencing anxiety and depression. It is becoming a norm, because technically, we are all in danger. Our own leaders and governments are putting us in that position, poisoning our food with chemicals, destroying our natural resources with oil and fracking. Our own disgusting prime minister approving genocide in another country. It doesn’t matter what race, or religion they are, it’s humans killing humans. Not only that, but humans exterminating defenseless humans, children. That is horrific. And if that has no affect on you as a human being, than what the fuck is wrong with you? I mean, you’d think people would have evolved from past events of genocide, the outcome, the consequences. Have you people not learned fuck all from what happened to your Canadian Indigenous people? You’re just going to create more people like me that cannot conform into your system, but will be accepted by fellow outcasts, rebels and freaks. You’ll just create a growing enemy.

But no, by all means. Stigmatize me. Act like there’s a cure. There isn’t. Leaders are the problem.

“the extracurricular activities you undertook don’t appear excessive”

For someone with anxiety, yeah it was. I was on the board of directors, I was a volunteer at  The Arts Project, my schedule with my children’s visits changed to weekends, I dropped some of those things so that I could focus more on my studies. But I guess I’m suppose to  drive myself like a slave until I’m to drained to properly look after my kids, or want to continue to create art. Right? I didn’t let go of the New School of Colour, sorry, that keeps me sane so to speak. It is my voice in a way. But I don’t expect a person so conditioned into the system to understand that. A sheep is driven by money, convinced they NEED money to live. Fuck the money, that’s not what you need to live. You need your natural resources, DUH!! But not only that, you need each-other! Stop killing off your fellow humans for petty fuckin reasons. It’s stupid. Money makes people stupid. Ughhh! It’s sickening. Yeah, I’d rather call myself an alien.

I got off track there. But yeah, what may be too much for one person, may not be too much for the next. But I guess this Dean cannot comprehend that.

The Dean was my art history teacher, the pop culture and media half of the course during Fall/Winter 2013. And as I explained before, he didn’t teach as well as the women do at the university. Just because you move your hands it doesn’t mean you’ll keep the class engaged. Not to mention, in the first class he said “Capitalists decide what art is.” And yeah, I was repulsed and I highly disagree with that sentence. The artist will not only tell you what art is, but they will show you. Too much credit is given to the Capitalists. Fuck them!

Anyway, that e-mail didn’t say anything about when I could register again. Hopefully in 2015. At least I was able to improve my mark in Sociology. In the mean time, back onto Ontario Works. I’ll continue to see my psychologist at the University. Speaking of which, I will have to re-book. I missed the last appointment because that e-mail got me rather distraught. Emotionally, I needed the time to cope with that disappointment. Thank my friend for inviting me  out, it’s shown me, that positive experiences can still be had even after receiving bad news. It’s not the end of the world, and I can still make the best out of life.

Onto OW, and job searching I guess. Back to square one. Some volunteering, maybe get some kind of art related part-time job I could tolerate. I’m not going to be able to support having my kids on weekends with just OW alone. So time to start thinking of places I could possibly apply to. I admit, I have lacked effort in job searching before. I like to live spontaneously, so a job restricts that to the bore of repetition. Partly why I despise dishes so much. It’s not like I can’t do it, I just don’t look forward to it. There is no creativity in repetition. My mind likes to wonder, explore, and try new things. Restrains, I don’t like restrains period. But you know what they say, one door closes, another opens. I just need to find it. – Pooks

“The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It’s people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages.”

– Bansky

 

 

 

 

 

Check that off on the Bucket List

No long post today. Unless I can try this again later, we’ll see. But for now, I will leave you with a little surprise that I put together that kept me up all night last night. I can finally say I did one thing I said I was going to do. Been saying I’d do this since I was a kid. So here it is! Just click on the link below. 🙂 – Pooks

http://www.lulu.com/shop/pauline-king-shannon-pooks/random-thoughts-of-an-alien-goddess/paperback/product-21447000.html

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”- Mandy Hale

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Possessed by Creativity

Besides school, and getting absolutely frustrated with this wire sculpture I’ve been working on for my Visual Arts class, I think things are good. Had to scrap my first idea with my wire sculpture, so I’ll be needing more of that really thick wire, which is difficult to bend, and somehow incorporate it into what I have so far. Yeah, my first idea , I have no idea what I was thinking. The thing needs to be able to stand on it’s base. And yeah, my first idea was kinda flimsy. The assignment is to create a self portrait out of wire. I had a slow start, not entirely sure what I was going to do. But after some brainstorming, I dove in and got started. Finally, my imagination kicked in, and I got more idea’s as I went along.

But yeah, besides that… I’ve been told that the New School of Colour is starting to get work prepared for Up With Art 2014. So hopefully I can get something completed for that, and yeah, Pooks can return to Up with Art. The last time I participated in that event was back in 2012, and even though my art did not sell, it did turn some heads. Haha!

I think my art getting a reaction is more satisfying than being sold anyways. I don’t do it for money. I create art simply because I love it. That, and it helps me pass any negativity within me that I’ve been holding, or that’s been passed on, and out onto a canvas turning it into something else entirely. It turns all that negativity into a positive through creating. It’s like my body becomes a portal of energy, and I transfer it into the art. I used to think negativity or anger were my muse, but there have been times where I’m not filled with those things, and I’m like; “Now what do I do?” What I ended up doing was focusing on other feelings. When I think about my kids, or what makes me happy it changes my art, which I found interesting. So I’ve experimented a bit with that, love, anger, and what it does to my art.

Although, I think the painting I was working on last Monday, it started off as a nice scenery, but then in the river bend I was painting came out a creepy hand in the water of this painting. So I think my subconscious took over, and that the music I was listening to had influenced that. I wasn’t planning for it to be there, it kind of created itself. Almost like I was possessed or something. Haha! Sounds crazy, but I don’t know how else to describe it. For a bit there, I was starting to think; “Everything I touch turns out creepy”. But that’s not true, I think back to other art pieces I’ve created, and that proves otherwise. I have created some nicer things that aren’t so dark.

Anyway, I will attempt to get something done for Up with Art, I will try to work on a bigger canvas. My only concern is my pace, wither or not I’ll get it done on time.

In other parts of my life, such as my children, I finally have an intake appointment booked, so my visits will soon go from Tuesdays for 2 hours, to Saturdays for 7 hours. I’m really excited about that.

Tomorrow I will be volunteering, helping serve dinner at the Ark Aid Street Mission, along with other New School of Colour artists. I haven’t really grabbed any hours lately for The Arts Project. Hours are e-mailed to floaters around the beginning of the month, and floaters kind of gotta respond fast to grab their hours. It’s kinda like a silent auction I find. It’s kinda funny. Not only are do we dress like ninjas, all in black attire, but we gotta be quick like ninjas as well. Anyways, I haven’t volunteered at The Arts Project lately because I wanted to wait until I knew more of what my schedule will be like when it comes to my children. Now that I kinda know, I know that my Tuesdays, and Fridays are open. At least until March 21st. Which by then, my schedule changes, and Fridays won’t be available. So maybe next month I sign myself up to be a floater for events, we’ll see.

My Sociology class had me thinking, especially on the topic of education, and how the Professor said that the University was like a “gate keeper”. Gate keeper to what? Employment? I’m sorry if I seem kind of skeptical about that. But with today’s economy, there are no jobs. Especially in London. Employers only hire people within their circle of friends. So if your a hermit like me, your shit out of luck. Better off chasing a crazy dream, then hoping your one of the lucky few that get picked from the herd for employment that you know deep down you’re not meant to do. I’m quite happy volunteering, or writing, which I don’t even get paid for. Or creating art, which I seldom do get paid for. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is something to gain from an education. It’s not to blend into the system, but to learn knowledge that could come handy in other aspects. I wanted to learn about the world around me, and that’s exactly what I’m getting.

They also mentioned that education was basically for “social control”. So not only do we have churches, the government, the media, and whoever the fuck else telling you how to think. I’ve come to realize that it is all to conform. Why do we need to conform? So that we don’t use our creativity and imaginations and come up with crazy idea’s that may change things? So that we follow the flock and go to school, get a job, and make money for the Capitalists? So that we are convinced that mistakes are sins and feel guilty and ashamed of our mistakes, rather than learning from our mistakes and evolving? So that we remain idle and stagnant? We’re supposed to be okay with this? You’d have to be pretty damn ignorant to be okay with that.

Not only is the song “Smash the Control Machine” by Otep ringing though my head. But I am feeling rather grateful that the Idle No More, and Occupy movements exist.

Plus, browsing through the news lately, it’s kind of exciting to see Neil Young has woken up to what’s going on, and he is now on board. I think it’s pretty damn cool that he is having an “Honour the Treaties” tour. I respect him for that.

So yeah, Sociology has definitely got me thinking about some things. Thank you UWO. – Pooks

“They say we must submit and be one with the machine because the Kingdom of Fear needs compliance to succeed.“- Otep Shamaya

Fictional Division

I saw a post on Facebook regarding Idle No More, and it said;

“You are on Indian land.”

Pandora’s box has been opened, and here comes another rant. I usually try to only post once a week, but when a writer is inspired, they must write. So here it goes…

“This land is your land. This land is my land…”

Ugh! That’s the problem! People are still trying to claim the land when in fact, the land belongs to no one. Not even to those who “buy property” with their imaginary money. If you really think about it, Money is worthless. It is a make believe system that has brainwashed all people into thinking it has any value once so ever.

As for the land, no one owns it! Not even your precious Queen. Forget the countries, the provinces, the states, etc. Borders are imaginary lines. Without them we are all on the same rock. We seem to think lakes, seas, and oceans have divided the land. Umm.. no, Earth is one big rock. I mean, the earth still exists at the bottom of the sea. It’s still all connected. As for these borders, there is nothing dividing us besides what we have imagined in our minds.

We are nothing but guests on this Earth, and our duty while we are here is to take care of it. Each of us is only here temporarily. We all die.  Accept it. You are not immortal. Your body becomes fertilizer for the Earth. I would take that as a sign, that perhaps the Earth is more valuable than your precious money, or whatever ridiculous materials you find valuable, even your own body.I am suddenly reminded of a Slipknot song; People = Shit. Haha! Anyway,  We own nothing. It’s not like we can take anything with us when we die, not even our bodies. So yeah, claiming you own the land. Haha! Get over yourself, someone needs to pop that capitalist ego.

But no, we create these barriers that separate everyone from one another. Wither it be over Religion, Wealth, Ethnicity, Sexuality, Gender, etc.We create imaginary lines.

And instead of taking care of, or being grateful for our natural resources, we abuse it, we poison it, all for this imaginary value of money.

Even though there are other options available to produce energy, we use the most deadly and poisonous options; nuclear power and oil.

So my conclusion is; people are dumb. Not only that, but people are insane. It doesn’t matter how many times we have oil spills, we’re fuckin idiots that never learn, and just keep doing the same thing over and over again.

I’d say we are like brainless monkeys, but that would be insulting the monkeys. Heck! At this rate, a monkey is more intelligent than a human being. Animals wouldn’t do the shit we do. This whole idea of jobs to make money so we can live in our homes. Animals don’t pay to live, yet we do. We pay mortgages, rent, taxes, etc. We even pay for our damn food! Yeah, animals do work in a way, they hunt, they nurture and teach their young, but at least their way of living is a lot more logical than ours. It’s called survival. Compared to an animal, the way we do things just sounds utterly stupid. They don’t pay fuck all for anything with “cash”.

And here humans think they are the greater species. Ha! We’re all a bunch of idiots, with this Capitalist perspective where we think we own things, and we’re so superior. “This land is mine” and blah blah blah. “I am better than you because I have this”, bull shit attitude. Or “My God is the right god, and only god because…” Blah blah blah! Or “I’m male, you’re just a woman whose only use is good for making babies.” Or “White Power!” Or take how we treat each other over money. ” Oh my god! You have no money, you’re worthless!” etc, etc. We’re damn right mean to each other, yet we call ourselves “Civil.” It all sounds barbaric to me. You might as well whip out your penis and compare sizes, or for the women, compare breasts.

For some stupid reason we got it in our heads that people have to better than other people. Yet if you erased all those imaginary lines that divide us, no one would be greater than the other. We’d just be people.

Sure animals have their leaders. Such as a pack of wolves, or a pride of lion. Difference is their leaders don’t get corrupted and seduced by money, thus making them selfish. When it comes to animals, and their leaders, they have a responsibility, and they take it seriously. It’s not just about them, it’s about the entire groups survival as a whole. Matter of fact, they put the groups well being over themselves. They’d die defending and protecting their group. That sure as hell doesn’t sound like any human leader, now does it?

That’s the thing, maybe people just aren’t meant to have a leader. We clearly cannot handle that responsibility without becoming greedy and self-absorbed. We are unreliable in that sense. But when we co-exist and work together, we accomplish some pretty amazing things.

But no! We are too barbaric for that. We’d rather set each other on fire, or bomb each other over Religion. Or send drones to kill more people over oil. Sacrifice the lives of our soldiers to fight for this profitable oil because our leaders can never get enough money. They constantly need more. Yeah, people are a mentally deranged species.

I wonder if we will ever look back on our behavior and ask; was it really worth it? Is killing each other really worth it over imaginary lines? Or over an imaginary system built so that we think that money has value when in all truth it is completely worthless? Was hating each other really the solution?

But then again, we hate ourselves apparently. Trying to obtain the ideal body, the perfect hair, smile, etc. Matter of fact, we pressure each other over this shit. It’s all over the media, magazines, can’t go anywhere without some kind of subliminal message. Sometimes we even go to great lengths to accomplish this by cutting ourselves up through surgery ( Note: your body won’t provide any nutrients  for the earth once your dead if your body is plastic. Just saying.), injecting bacteria into our faces, frying our hair, ripping off our body hair, or even going under a laser. We bake ourselves, or spray chemicals all over our bodies for that perfect tan. The list goes on and on. It’s an obsession based on insecurity. Yet we call ourselves “civil”.

Let’s take a good look at that definition, shall we? Civil: adj 1: of or relating to citizens or the state as a political body. Relating to citizens? I think it is clear that we made that impossible to relate to each other by creating so much bullshit to divide each other. As for relating to the state as a political body is part of the problem in the first place. Politics and politicians seem to only create more problems, rather than resolve anything. If we worked together as a unit, a whole, we could kiss that bullshit system goodbye. Don’t vote. Don’t pay taxes. Fuck em! Their fucked in the head anyways, and aren’t doing anyone any good.  Maybe one day we could kiss money and oil goodbye. That would totally fuck those greedy fuckers right over. Ha Ha!

Anyway, back to the definition of civil. 2: Courteous and polite. You can scratch that one too, because obviously we are just too mean to each other to give ourselves that title of being courteous and polite.

3: of or relating to legal proceedings in connection with private rights and obligation (the code). What a pile of bullshit. The Government and even our police forces break their own rules. Just throw that right out the window. Especially since the Government wants to use cyber-bullying as an excuse to invade everyone’s privacy. Why would they want to do that? Doubt it has anything to do with cyber-bullying at all, but to invade the spaces of their threats out there, whom are the activists. So yeah, if that goes through, good bye privacy rights, and well done Government, you are NOT “civil.” Haha!

4: of relating to the general population: not military or ecclesiastical. Here we go again. Relating to the general population, that’s a joke. As I said before we make it impossible to relate to each other.

And that is that. Stop claiming to be civil, we obviously are not. The whole society is made up of barbaric “savage” people. That’s all people, no matter what race, culture, religion, social status, whatever. Civil, what a joke! No one is civil, we’re all stuck in the same situation. Matter of fact, we repeat it, rather than evolving and trying something new. We are too cowardly, too insecure to steer away from old customs.

The question is, how do we go about doing so?

We will never know if we never try. Sometimes we don’t fully know what we are capable of until we take a leap of faith. Besides, as I’ve come to realize, people learn best from their mistakes. If we’re too afraid to go astray and make mistakes, we learn jack-shit. We remain stagnant. That’s no good.

A part of me is skeptical when it comes to humanity, I’d rather call myself an alien. Another part of me holds onto hope. I hope things will be different for the younger generations, they don’t deserve this shit. But they will get whatever we teach. Think long and hard about that.

Don’t get me wrong, I still support Idle No More. I just firmly believe that the land belongs to nobody. The Earth is a living thing too. Saying you own it is like claiming another living being is your property. That’s just wrong. Not to mention, that is a Capitalist way of thinking.

Perhaps it was my long experience with abuse that has given me this perspective. Where I thought power and control only existed in my personal troubles. Ya know? Where I was treated like an object that an abuser claims to own. But as I ventured out into the world I see abuse is global. This made up system of hierarchy abuses not only their very own kind, but the land as well. I see utter chaos, it’s no wonder I experience anxiety. It’s everywhere.

Nobody owns Mother Earth, she lives. Her very breath we breathe in. But since the land cannot fight, or defend itself, then it is us that must speak up against the abuse. In order to do so, we are going to have erase all those imaginary lines ingrained in our minds so that we can truly unite. – Pooks

“Society cannot share a common communication system so long as it is split into warring factions.” – Bertolt Brecht

Kind of Like Skipping Stones

Long time no see! I know, it’s been awhile since I have posted, but I have been busy. School, writing an exam, getting caught up in Visual Arts. Which thankfully I am caught up now.

To top it off, the holidays are upon us. So been busy with all the holiday shtuff as well, shopping, scheduling my days over the holidays, and blah blah blah. I’ll be going to a Christmas dinner which is being held by First Nation Housing Co-op at the Namerind Friendship Centre on December 22ond. I have a visit with my children early in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. On the evening of Boxing day I will be attending a gathering with friends, and we’ll be having cheese cake. We did the same last year. It’s kind of turning into a nice tradition. Gather for some Christmas Cheese Cake.

I did get an e-mail from my ex’s lawyer, and it seems like every time I get a letter or anything from them, I just want to panic, and just spaz right out. But after some thought, this may be the next step. The documents mentioned something about the exchanges taking place at Merrymount, instead of C.A.S. Since I no longer need to be supervised, I can take my kids out for an hour or two if I wanted to. Although, it is winter, it does get pretty cold, so for some of the visits, we’ve been indoors at the C.A.S building anyway. Baby steps. Merrymount is just the next baby step, no need to panic. I will reach my goal of weekends one day!

I actually made it in to see my counselor earlier this past week. I haven’t seen her since I fell down that flight of stairs back on Halloween. No more crutches. No more tensor bandage. Although this has got to be the longest I’ve ever had a bruise. It’s still healing, and my ankle is still a little swollen, but I can walk with no pain. Anyway, my counselor gave me praise for basically reaching out and talking to someone at the University when I had fallen behind. Rather than freaking out and having an anxiety attack, I problem solved, with some help of coarse. I have to admit, there are some amazing workers at the University.

Although, there is something disturbing. I appreciate that my professors are very sensitive when the First Nation people get brought up into a topic. Wither it be in Art History, or Sociology, I feel like the professors really try their best to not offend their Native students. So yeah, I was starting to feel like maybe this time around I won’t experience any discrimination within pursuing a post secondary education. Unlike my experience at Fanshawe College. But then it was brought to my attention that UWO’s “top cop” on campus is the same officer that killed Dudley George back in 1995. John Carson shot a Native protester and has admittedly said that he has “no regrets.” Does the University not see how this can be not only disturbing to their Indigenous students, but it can also make them feel very uncomfortable and unsafe? I sure as hell feel very uneasy just knowing there’s a cop that killed a fellow Native walking on the same campus as I am. As a Native Idle No More protester, of coarse I’m going to feel unsafe!! It makes me think that perhaps the discrimination continues, and maybe U.W.O isn’t as different as it perceived itself to be. The University has contradicted itself by hiring on this retired O.P.P officer. I mean, it kind of goes against what various University Programs ( such as Ally Western) want to achieve, inclusiveness with all identities, race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, faith, ability, etc. This alienates their Indigenous students. And why would you hire a cop to be on campus fully knowing that he has murdered another human being?! That puts all students safety at risk. It’s not a very wise decision if you ask me, John Carson should not be on campus.

Correction; Dudley George was killed by an officer named, Kenneth Deane. But the commanding officer in charge at the time was John Carson. Thus, making him responsible for the actions that took place back in 1995 that killed Dudley George. He’s the one that gave the “okay”. I still don’t think it’s “okay” that he is now the director of the Western Campus Police Service. He’s just as guilty as the man that shot Dudley George.

Besides that, art, art, art. What have I been doing? If you haven’t heard, I finally did complete that oil painting I was working on at the New School of Colour. I titled it, Brainwasher.

I mailed off a small art piece the size of a post card to the Twitter Art Exhibit (#twitterartexhibit). All proceeds will go to benefiting the Center of Contemporary Dance, Special need classes in Orlando, Florida. So that’s pretty exciting, I’m glad I hopped on the opportunity to be a part of it. It gets my art out there. The actual show takes place at the City Arts Factory, Magic Gallery, from March 20th – April 11th, 2014. Unfortunately I won’t be able to attend. But at least my art gets to travel.

At home I have been re-doing an older piece that has gone missing. So I am re-creating my “Ring Leader in Paris” art piece. This time, it’s going to be in colour, and I’m using oil paint. The original was in chalk pastel, and pencil. I tried to make it look like a sepia photograph. But yeah, I think this version will make the original look like nothing but a rough draft. It is turning out better than the first.

I do have a surprise coming up for any Pooks fans out there. But I’ll reveal that in the New Year. It is art related.

I am trying to keep this post brief, but it’s kind of all over the place from one topic to the next. Kind of like skipping stones. So yeah, just getting you caught up on some things within the life of Pooks. Enjoy your holidays. So far, mine are turning out rather well. 😉 – Pooks

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”- Winston Churchill