1128

Well, since I am waiting for my kids to arrive, they should have been here at 2pm, I figured, I might as well write to kill time.

Anyways, my boyfriend and I have been trying to sell these shiatsu puppies. We sold the pure white one not too long ago, but go figure, we wind up with more drama.

This chubby younger guy wanted to buy a puppy for his pregnant girlfriend. This guy talks to the crazy lady with the black shiatsu in the other building. should have expected drama. Anyways, my boyfriend was ify about selling them the puppy. I mean, he’s already been threatened by this “Steve” guy that puffed out his chest and tried to intimidate my boyfriend into giving a puppy to this old lady for free. Anyways, this chubby younger fellow hangs out with this “Steve” guy and associates with that crazy lady with the black shiatsu. The #NoShiatsuForYou Lady. So yeah, there were red flags from the start.

Anyways, this chubby coloured younger guy kept insisting for the puppy. He wanted to pay $200 one month, in exchange for the puppy, and pay $300 later. Automatically, I was like no. I told my boyfriend that he could basically rip off my boyfriend that way. Ya know? Pay $200, take the puppy and take off. So the chubby younger guy said that he’d try to sell his XBox One to make the money. So instead, my boyfriend offered to take the XBox One and $50 in exchange for the puppy. This guy agreed. And yeah, the puppy was sold. Shortly after, they came to pick up the puppy, and yeah, things seemed fine.

Well… it wasn’t, apparently. This guy began texting my boyfriend asking for $200-$300 back, just because he claims the puppy isn’t a purebred. Odd, that didn’t seem to matter when they bought the puppy. Suddenly it matters after he goes back and talks to the others in his building from 1128. These freakin shit disturbers that clearly have no life. Anyways, he’s been even threatening to beat up my boyfriend if he sees him around. So yeah, ughh… pointless drama (OVER PUPPIES!!)  neither my boyfriend and I are interested in.

So yeah. Now the last puppy for sale, the price has decreased because we just want to get rid of it, and we will probably not ever do this breeding, and selling puppy shit ever again. Fuck that! Ya know? Never realized how psycho people get over puppies. But apparently they do.

Anyways, my man is so sick of the bullshit that he gave his 2 month notice to his landlord and will be moving in with me within the next 2 weeks. So yay! My street is a quiet side street. And yeah, we can start building our family home. Hopefully having to deal with less stress.

Unlike this chubby fellow who is also expecting a child, my partner and I would rather focus on more important matters, such as preparing for our baby, rather than picking immature “highschool” fights. So yeah, so not interested. – Pooks

 

“The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance.”
– Shannon L. Alder
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Sporadic Smudge

Well I guess I do have time to blog today. I thought my Leads appointment was today, but apparently it was yesterday. The date my worker had written on my appointment card was different from what she had put in her book. So yeah, there has been some confusion, and clearly I missed my appointment. But I will see her on the 26th. The day after my birthday. Hooray! Haha!

Newho, where to begin? Hold on… I need to check where I had left off…

Oh right! Game night! That was fun. I had my boyfriend and a couple friends over and we played Cards Against Humanity. Hahaha! That is a very interesting, twisted game. Umm.. Thanks to my bestie for bringing over the tea, and buying us a large pizza to split. Good times!

Thursday was kind of a blur last week. Probably just a regular day.

On Friday I met more of my mans side of the family. Such as his mother, her boyfriend, and my boyfriends brothers and sisters. That evening we sat outdoors at my mans brothers place, had some beers, and just talked, chilled. I was kinda put on the spot with some questions, but I was very honest. For example; my boyfriends mothers boyfriend sensed that I had a dark side to me, and asked if I cut myself. Honestly, I don’t, but I used to many years ago. I find now that there is no need for it anymore, that suppression. Ya know? I used to do it to suppress my emotions. But now look at me, through my art and writing, I have become quite expressive, and there is no shame in doing so.

Anyways, it was funny that they said I was a definite upgrade from my boyfriends last girlfriend. So yeah, yaaaaay!

They were surprised to hear that I had a book published. I mean, yes, that is quite the accomplishment. But looking at it now, I would like to do another one. But better. And maybe have it edited before publishing. Haha! I don’t know. I noticed there are some grammar mistakes within the first one. So I consider it my “rookie” book. I kinda threw whatever material I had over the years, slopped it all together, and voila! There’s my first book! I might do something similar with the second, chaotic, not in any specific order. Just because that’s just me. But at least spell checked! Haha! Not yet though.

Newho, if you are interested in checking out my “rookie” book, “Random Thoughts of an Alien Goddess”, it’s only available on Lulu. I will provide the link here:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/pooks/random-thoughts-of-an-alien-goddess/paperback/product-21570821.html

“Random Thoughts of an Alien Goddess” basically a self portrait in many forms so to speak. However, I can’t recall if I mentioned why I call myself an alien goddess within the book or not. Those that have been following my blog for a long period of time already know. I refer to myself as an alien because I don’t quite fit into your world, and I’m kind of alienated. I’m a non-conformist to put it bluntly. But that’s okay. I’ve learned to love and accept that about myself. As for the goddess thing, that is based on a quote said by Pablo Picasso regarding women. He said they are either door-mats or goddesses. And yeah, I made my choice.

I don’t think I mentioned the cover either within my book. I mean, the time frame it was taken was discussed within the book. Yes it is a nude, but still modest and showing nothing. But basically, that “selfie” was taken after weeks of depression, starvation, and sleeping. After my attempt of a slow suicide years ago. That picture captured my awakening. Waking up as “Pooks”, not the same as I was before, wither I realized it at the time or not.

My man’s family gave my man a wonderful idea, which is basically to turn one of my poems in the book into a song. That would be cool!

Anyways, moving on.

On Saturday a reunion was held at my boyfriends sisters place. I even brought my own children there, and they were too shy to really interact and socialize with the other children. Ya know? New people. New Environment. A comment was said to me to “cut the cord already”, because they were being clingy. But it’s understandable. Going somewhere surrounded by strangers for the first time. I mean yes, my daughter is always clingy regardless. She is my youngest. But I am working on that, and she is aware of it lately. I think she’s starting to get it. Some space between us can be good.

I guess when they were speaking with the other children, my daughter said that if my boyfriend and I get married, that my boyfriends siblings would become their aunts and uncles. One of my boyfriends sisters disagreed, but my daughter is right. She’s is a smart cookie 😉 Anyways, it’s just funny that my boyfriend and I were the topic of discussion.

Which reminds me, over the weekend my daughter said if anyone tries to mess with my boyfriends and I’s relationship, she will kick them in the bum. Haha! It makes me happy that my boyfriend and my kids get along. I mean, I am lucky to have found someone that accepts my children, includes them as part of the package because they are a huge part of me and my life. As for my children accepting my boyfriend, clearly they must see how much he makes me happy.

Anyways, starting to get freakin mushy on you. that’s enough of that. Moving on.

Sunday, after I dropped my kids off at their house. I returned to my boyfriends place. He went to bed early, and I stayed up to watch a movie. Anyways, I fell asleep on the couch, and at 3am, my boyfriend woke up wondering where the heck I was. So he got up and found me sleeping on the couch, and then carried me to bed. I normally freak out when I’m lifted up off my feet. Fear of heights here. Newho, I guess I was really peaceful while I was asleep. I just thought that was sweet.

Monday!! I forget.

Tuesday was the New School of Colour and I worked on my painting. Although, my sleeve smudged it as I was holding up someone elses art piece so that they can sign the back of their art. So yeah. Guuuuuh!! More shit to fix up. I decided to make it look intentional, so I expressed my frustration, and added more sporadic smudges. Haha! Problem solved. Don’t freakin tell there isn’t any freakin problem solving to do when it comes to art. Omigosh! I swear, it’s always something.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Wednesday I painted some more at my boyfriends place. During one of our hikes in the past, I picked up a rock that I wanted to paint on. However I was having trouble  regarding what to paint on it, and my boyfriend gave me an awesome suggestion. He suggested that I browse through his Chinese/ English dictionary, pick a work that I think defines him, and paint that on the rock. So that’s what I did. Except more. I painted some photography I did of storm clouds on the rock, and I put “Both Beautiful and Intelligent” written in Chinese on it. I was quite proud of it when I was done.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Today, I thought I had a Leads appointment, but nope. After checking my e-mail, I realize that my appointment was actually yesterday. So instead, I posted an ad up on Kijiji for my man. He’s trying to sell two puppies here in London,ON. Check out the ad if you are interested. The puppies are soooo cute!

http://www.kijiji.ca/v-view-details.html?adId=1094623542

Speaking of the puppies. The only male shiatsu finally got a home. My man gave him as a gift to his mom. Omigod! Did my man and I go though a lot of b.s over that puppy. Not from his mom either, but from this old lady that owns a black shiatsu already in my mans neighborhood. She claims her dog is the father, and that she has the right to a free male puppy. Ummm no. Not to forget that another male shiatsu could be a possible father, so there is no certainty which one is the father. My man gave the owner of the other shiatsu $50, and offered this woman the same. She didn’t accept it. So my man offered to sell her a puppy for $200, and she didn’t take that offer either. I mean, he had already promised his mother a male puppy years before this woman came along. So yeah, she was a nut case. I mean, she was text messaging my man, saying that if god wants it to be, it will be, and stuff like that. And saying God will make him lose his job, lose his girlfriend, his home, so on and so forth….OVER THIS PUPPY?!!

I mean, it sure didn’t seem like “god” was tampering with our relationship. More like she was, approaching me, while my mans at work, calling him a liar and a jackass behind his back.

Her attempt to talk to me about it was just plain dumb. I’m a bit of a hard-ass. Based on her crappy behavior, I told my man to tell her to go fuck herself, long before he decided that she’s getting squat. He made attempts to be fair, because he’s nice like that.

Yeah, I kinda ranted on Twitter about that whole situation briefly. #NoShiatsuForYou Haha!

Newho, Glads that’s over with. Glad the male puppy is safely out of the area, and in a new home. My man told this woman that if she bothers us again, he’s gonna charge her for harassment and slander. So yeah, haven’t heard a peep from her since. Thank goodness!

Anyways, I need to get something to eat. I’m hungry. So I shall end it there. Thanks for reading! – Pooks

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”- Walt Whitman

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

While I Can…

I guess I’ll work on my blog while I can. At least before I gotta get my place tidied up for game night with friends.

I’m not quite sure where to begin…a lot has happened.

Since there was no New School of Colour session last Tuesday, my bestie and I went on a trip to Kitchener, and while we were there we basically went mall hopping within Kitchener, Waterloo, and Cambridge. It was an interesting day that’s for sure. However, since we had gotten to an extremely early start that day, we both were fighting off sleep on the express bus. Too funny. Our first stop was at Davids Tea, of coarse. For lunch, we wanted to try to go to a restaurant that wasn’t in London, but we went to Coras (which is in London). But I have never been there before, so that was cool. A lot of the stores were the same in each mall. But hey, that didn’t really matter. I was chillin with my bestie, and we got out of London for the day. I was just grateful that she thought of me to join her on this trip.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

On Wednesday, I had my Leads appointment. My worker and I did some interview practice since I did get a call back for an interview which was booked for Thursday. She also surprised me with some copies of volunteer job descriptions, one for retail in the gift shop at the London Museum. And the other was to be a tour guide at the London Museum. I decided that I’ll send a resume for the retail position, since that is pretty much the direction I have been going. Plus, I tend to sell myself short I guess, and don’t really think I am ready for the tour guide thing. It requires public speaking. Even though the experience would be amazing. I don’t know. Maybe in the future, but not yet.

Thursday I had my job interview at The Roots Cellar. The position is for a dishwasher, which anyone that knows me knows that I despise dishes. But, I decided that I was going to swallow my pride, and just try to get my foot in the door when it comes to the work field. Anyways, the interviewer was very nice. I mean, I was expecting to be more anxious and nervous, but I wasn’t. And the questions seemed rather simple, I just answered honestly. So yeah, it went by rather quickly. Wither that is a good thing or not, I don’t know. But kudos to me for actually following through and showing up to the interview. I was motivated for a change.

My boyfriend has been very supportive. I think he was happier about the interview than I was. But yeah, whatever. It’s nice to have the support. I mean, not only that, but he proudly brags about the book I wrote, and shows my art to as many people as possible. Haha! So yes, he’s very proud of me. It’s kinda nice to feel that appreciated.

On Friday, that was my 4 hour visit with my children, and we went to a park we’ve never been to before. It was called Nicholas Wilson Park, and it had more than one playground on it. So that was cool. We had options.

On Saturday, my boyfriend took me hiking. I swear, my shins always get bit by a thorn bush on these hikes. But yeah, totally worth it. We ventured into a nice quiet forest. And yeah, it was nice. While he dug around in the dirt looking for treasure. Hehe! My own personal pirate! I no longer have to tell Ducky to put a pirate into her paintings, I got my own. Haha! Anyways, while he did his excavating, I got to maintain the fire. That was fun! I’m lucky my man is kind of a bush man, he knows his shtuff when it comes to the outdoors. So no worries. It was safe.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

We did get rained on a bit, but that was okay. We cooked our hot dogs over the fire anyways. Umm…oh yeah, we saw 3 turkeys, and 1 deer. That was awesome! The turkeys look so funny running through a field. Can’t really help but giggle at the sight. As for the deer, at first we thought it was a decoy, it was THAT still. But when it jumped away. Yeah, that proved otherwise. And man those things can jump!

On Sunday, I got to meet some of my boyfriends friends from an apartment building he used to live in around the Cherryhill area. Anyways, they were sweet. They seemed like nice people. There were a lot of sweet elderly folk there I noticed. And they all say the same thing about my man, he’s a gentleman. Awww… 🙂

Oh yeah, over the weekend my man and I made home-made chicken noodle soup. Which I have tried and it’s delish! Well…most of the credit goes to the boyfriend, I just made the rice and the pasta. Pretty easy stuff. Haha!

On Monday, I think that was the day I was moseying around my boyfriends apartment, while he cleaned and did other stuff. I find when he gets in that mode, just stay out of the way. He gets pretty focused and determined to get shit done. He even bathed Molly, and her puppies. That was cute! They’re all pure bred shiatsu’s. And the puppies are just a bundle of cuteness overload. My man plans on selling 2 of them, and 1 is spoken for, and the other he is keeping.

Yesterday was the New School of Colour, it re-opened. So yaaay! I got to reunite with muh art peeps! I did work on my oil painting again. I didn’t get too much done though, as I showed up late. And it looks as though that someone had spilled coffee on my canvas. So I got some fixing up to do. Sigggh….

Anywho…back to cleaning up for game night. Hope you enjoyed. I’ll write again when I can! Much love! – Pooks

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

– Steve Maraboli

Wonderful Things

Hi.

Yes, I am actually home, where I have an internet connection and am able to write something up. For most of the week, I’m at my man’s place. Hard to believe it’s already been a month and 6 days that we’ve been together, and we’re still going strong. No fights. We get along and understand each-other pretty good.

In the last blog post I realized I forgot to mention my mall hopping outing with one of my besties. We went shopping for a shirt, and she bought me some organic mate tea. Yup, thanks to her, and my man, I’m a loose leaf tea fan.

Anyways, I will probably be hopping all over the place from topic to topic because so much has been happening, or has happened. And yeah, there will probably be no orderly fashion to this post. But I think my readers are used to that by now. I get kinda scatter brained. But so does my man, so yeah, one of the many reasons we’re so compatible.

I am currently waiting for the recent load of dishes to dry, so yeah. TYPE!! Been cleaning and preparing for my weekend visit with muh babies! We probably won’t be able to go fishing as planned, due to weather… and my mans pet shiatsu (Molly) just had 4 puppies. So if and when we do go,  we can’t be out for a long period of time. Someones gotta keep an eye on the babies. It’s pretty exciting actually. And they are so tiny and cute!! I will probably take my kids to take a peek at the puppies. They might like that.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

What else has happened? Up with Art! It turned out to be a successful night, so much so it had brought Silvia Langer to tears of gratitude. That’s what I heard from a fellow artist. 75 artists contributed to the fundraiser, and only 4 pieces didn’t get auctioned off. So that is pretty amazing. Lots of people came out, and yeah, it turned out to be a fun evening.

Not to mention that my man just looked absolutely amazing all dressed up. Even the photographers at the event were sneaking pics of him. Haha! He does look  amazing in a suit.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Anyways, congrats to him! He won my painting! He was even kinda guarding it, making sure no one else would bid higher than him. Haha! So yaaay! He is the proud owner of a Pooks painting.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

We went the After Party as well, and met up with friends. Even they say I met my match when it comes to craziness. The good kinda craziness though. However I think he’s got me beat. He does things I wouldn’t dare do, because of my fear of heights. Anyways, we had fun, drank some beers, had some laughs. It was a good night.

A couple of muh fave peeps at the Up with Art After Party. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

A couple of muh fave peeps at the Up with Art After Party. All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Umm… what else has happened? Fathers Day! I met my mans dad, and that side of the family on his fathers side. We had gone out for breakfast at the Fireside Family Restaurant. It was nice. We sat outdoors, and the breakfast was good. The portion that was considered a breakfast looked massive to me. But then again, I don’t normally eat breakfast. Or if I do, I keep it small. For example, when I’m at my mans place, I’ll have fruit, or a bowl of cereal. But this was a huge plate, there was eggs, sausages, toast… Amazingly I finished it all. I didn’t want to be rude. Anyways, they seem like nice people.

I guess I got my man’s dad’s approval. My man was saying that one evening after work, he grabbed him by the arm just before they parted ways, and his dad told him not to fuck this up, she’s a good girl.

A good girl. I guess you can call it that. I mean, I don’t really have much to offer. I’m a struggling artist on welfare that has to divide my income for 3 people, that is actually meant for one. So it’s not like I can ever offer money. So I find other things to give. For example, while my mans at work, I’ve done his dishes, made his bed, folded and put his laundry away. I try to free up his time when he gets back from work. He’s been extremely grateful for those surprises.

I might meet my man’s mom’s side of the family in early August. So I might be M.I.A for a week. As in out of the city, and into the country/wilderness. It would be nice to get out the city for a bit. It might not be Trout Lake, but hey, I told my family I won’t be going this year, maybe next year. And who knows, maybe I’ll be taking my man with me when we go. And maybe his brother.

Which reminds me, I met my mans younger brother, and his girlfriend. They’re fun. We had some drinks, clowned around. I got to see brotherly love between the two. Pranks and jokes. It’s funny.

What else? I love going for walks. So my man took me out for a good few hours, and wow. I loved every minute of it. He brings me to such beautiful places. On the way back, he hand picked wild flowers and made me a bouquet. So yeah, I feel like I’m the lucky one…. Oh yeah! We saw deer, rabbits, and fire flies!! Ugh! So beautiful!

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Anyways, there is probably more wonderful things I’m missing. But I gotta get back to cleaning, then get some sleep. Muh babies will be here tomorrow! Hope you enjoyed reading! And see ya again next time! – Pooks

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

– Robert A. Heinlein

Scissors

So I burned yet another bridge with someone. This time, my supposed little sister. Seriously, if I have to start from scratch to build my supports I will. If that is the only way I am going to break this abusive cycle, so be it. I don’t want abuse in my life anymore, and I will not tolerate it.

Yeah, she’s pregnant, good for her. This is, like my mom did, who the fuck is she coming to to dump her drama on? Me. Whenever her and her man get in a fight, in come the text messages. Or whatever negative shit she can throw at me. Such as beating her dog. Which pretty much began the burning of the bridge so to speak.

Her dog is a one year old. Part Sheppard and something else. Supposedly husky, or wolf or something. But whatever, the breed doesn’t matter, if your good to the dog, it will be rather happy and behaved. But her and her boyfriend punch this dog in the head, apparently beating it is their form of discipline, and they wonder why their dog is aggressive, attacking their kitten, and other people.

She kept telling me to stop comparing her dog to a child, her dog is an animal. A beast. That’s not the point, it is a living thing! Plus, successful pet owners often do treat their pets like family.

This brought up my past. She said I left a pit-bull to die, shows what she knows. Jack shit! When a friend got me out of an abusive relationship and into the Rotholme centre. The pit-bull wasn’t alone obviously, my friend that got me out, was there. My ex got thrown in jail, the dogs were given to new owners. But unfortunately for the pit-bull, my ex kicked it in the stomach too many damn times, it died from internal bleeding, and damaged intestines. It was too late. That pit bull died for me, it protected me and fought for me.

Apparently that’s the image my sister likes to place herself as. Ya know? What the pit-bull did for me. But the truth came out, and she admitted that if it weren’t for a friend of hers, she would have punched me out. So she’s not this valiant protective sister as she pretends to be. Just a hater in disguise.  She may have a pretty face, but one hell of an ugly personality.

Now, since she is expecting a baby on the way, I told her to cut it out. Stop hitting the dog. I flat out told her she was being abusive. I mean, she thinks she can lay her hands on anyone. She has hit all her ex boyfriends, her brother, cops, friends, her recent boyfriend, and her dog. Who knows who else. She’s violent, and has proudly admitted to being a predator. I told her, if she keeps that shit up she will lose her kid. And of coarse she flipped out thinking I was talking about the dog, and told me to stop acting like the dog is a child.

And of coarse, she rubbed the fact that I lost my kids in my face. She accuses me of being abusive. Yeah, I threw a dresser drawer at my exes face. It’s not like I go punching out every single person I come in contact with. I knew what I did was wrong. Did I repeat it? No! As for my son, If I give him a time out, and he just walks away because his aunt is there. Ummm.. no. Just because she’s there, doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a pushover. I will get him on his time out. EVEN IF THAT MEANS I HAVE TO DRAG HIM! No, I’m not innocent. I’ve been openly admitting my mistakes. I spanked my son once. Never again. I cried beside his bed, and practically begged him to forgive me. These days, I refuse to touch him, not without his consent. Difference between her and I is that I learn, I don’t repeat. I can respect a persons space.  She doesn’t. Just like my supposed mom, she respects no one, but expects respect.

Good fuckin riddance.

She said C.A.S are closing their file, and rubs it in my face that they were in my life for 8 years.  Phhht… it won’t be long until their back.  I sure as hell am not sticking around for when her son decides to say no, and not listen. She clearly has no patience at all.

So yeah, another negative person kicked out the door. Not like she was ever really there anyways. Just when she wants something. Or when we talk, we talk about her. Her, her, her. Yet, I’m supposedly so selfish and so self absorbed.

Whatever. I know that’s not true. Yesterday I proved it. I got my ass out of bed, on a rainy day, a Saturday, to volunteer, and I didn’t have to. Volunteers don’t get paid cash, but the experience itself is rewarding.

Plus, I wouldn’t be taking sociology if I wasn’t curious about the world outside myself. Which reminds me, about the dog, I said hitting the dog will make it aggressive. That’s common sense. My sister made this remark like “You should have gone to class. then you’d know common sense doesn’t exist.” I missed one day! I didn’t drop out because I’d rather get fucked up on crack. So she said something along the lines that I failed from Fanshawe College because I was lazy. Umm.. no. I do have some health issues, rheumatoid arthritis, anemia ( so yeah, I’m tired all the fuckin time!!) , anxiety, and depression. You’d get depressed too if you thought you got away from an abuser, and then that person moves in. Also,  the discrimination I experienced at college was quite the shocker for me at the time. Thus adding to the depression. Point is, I am back, and making another attempt at a secondary education. My solution to a better situation isn’t getting knocked up.  Ahem, she’d still be on the streets of Ottawa if she wasn’t pregnant. Good luck taking care of a kid, considering she can barely take care of herself! I don’t need her bullshit in my life. I’m so done with abuse. Just tired of it.

Yeah, she says we’re two different people now, and I don’t know her anymore. Damn rights I don’t, and I don’t want to know who she has become either.  Boo fuckin hoo, she doesn’t like me anymore. Good! I obviously don’t like her either.

The only way I’m going to get better is if I cut the negative, abusive people out. They just remind me of the trauma. – Pooks

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