Focus on the Positive

As you may have noticed from my last post, I  almost gave this up. As in this blogging thing. Instead, I think I will try to be more careful on what I write about. Sure, I  can handle the judgment. But when I think of my children, my family, and how it could be impacting their lives….Putting a spotlight on myself is one thing. But my kids? To the point, they’re being followed by strangers in public?? It may or not be because of this blog. But if it is… Yeah. I  can change that by not sharing every little detail.

Yeah I was stressed about my son being home schooled. But I realize that I cannot be putting myself under that kind of stress, especially while I’m pregnant, worrying over something I have no control over. The Thames Valley School Board gave the approval, and I will just have to trust my ex that he will do his best for our sons sake.
I  was impressed to hear that my ex is trying to get our son out into social settings. Yeah, there will come a time when our son will have to interact with the outside world. No matter how uncomfortable that is for an introvert.

I haven’t seen my son for about a month now. He’s stopped wanting to come over since he can’t take no for an answer, let alone handle any form of discipline. All the gifts he’s been given have been temporarily  stored away since he’s been so ungrateful. Ya know? We’re just trying to teach gratitude. All he has to do is say thank you once in awhile. A thank you can go a long ways.

And since he rarely visits these days, it just makes sense to convert his room into the baby’s room. The baby will be here 24/7. My daughter rarely misses visits. So she’s here on most weekends. She can keep her room. If and when my eldest son ever decides to visit, he is more than welcome to sleep on the couch.

Anyways, I decided I’m not going to stress over my sons behavior, attitude, or nonsense. He’s got some growing up to do. And I’ll just give that time. I have bigger things to focus on. Such as the baby on the way.

Maybe my son just needs a wake up call when it comes to reality. Time to get his head out of video games, and prepare him for the shit that society has in store. That way it won’t come as a big shock. And hopefully his father can provide that for him. Yes, as we “grow up”, adults have expectations and responsibilities. There’s no escaping that. Especially if you want to survive. A person will need to learn to take care of themselves, and be resourceful.

Not to mention, maybe this one on one time with his father can be beneficial. They used to butt heads, and their relationship was kinda rocky in the past. Maybe the time spent together, bonding, is just what he needs.

Over the weekend my ex said they walked home together from the theatre. That’s awesome. Not only does it get our son out and about,  but it gives our son that quality time that perhaps he desperately needs. Especially from his father figure.

So yeah, I’m not going to stress or judge. But have faith that my ex can get our son back on track, unlike the school system, that pretty much just gave up on him.

For a couple of weeks my man was feeling down when it comes to my children. I  mean, my sons sudden change of attitude. He went from liking my partner, to just shutting him out. Then my daughter saying that she doesn’t consider my man as part of the family. Yeah, that hurt him. He was asking himself, why does he even bother trying? But I’m here for him. We’ll get through this. I guess this kind of stuff is to be expected when it comes to step parents. So yeah, I’m grateful he hasn’t given up. One day they’ll see why mommy loves him. He has been amazing towards me, and my children. Even if they can’t see it. I don’t think every man would put his girlfriend, and her children ( that aren’t his) as a priority over themselves. So yeah, that’s special. ❤

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Anyways, I  had a good weekend with our daughter. She loves coming over. We baked 2 cakes, played board games, watched movies, blew bubbles, and of coarse she played with her favorite puppy in the world, Chewie. Those 2 are like best buds. It’s cute.

In other news, I have met up with a Doula twice so far. She’s been really helpful so far when it comes to preparing for the birth of my baby. We’ve come up with a birth plan, and are putting together questions for my doctor. I’m starting to feel more prepared the closer I get to my due date. She’s even giving me alternative ideas of things or positions to try during contractions. As well as tips of exercises that can help the baby get into the proper position so that it won’t be breech, and it will be ready when the time comes. She’s been very informative. So yeah, glad to have her as my doula.

What else? Art. I  just got confirmation a while back that the mini portrait of my man has arrived to New York. That’s a relief. I was starting to worry that it had gotten lost in the mail. All that hard work!! But nope, they got it! And my art will be in the Twitter Art Exhibit in NEW YORK!! It’s my third time participating, and donating my art for charity. I couldn’t be more proud!

Next up, Up with Art. I am almost done my painting for that event. Proceeds go to the Unity Project for relief of homelessness for men, women and youth. Having family members out there that are homeless, and having experienced it myself in the past, Homelessness and poverty are strong issues that I will do what I can to make a difference. In this case, art, which will help raise funds for a local shelter, that helps people get back on their feet so to speak.

I  will need to print out some registration forms at a library one of these days. Especially if I plan to participate in other upcoming art exhibitions, such as The Framing of the Phoenix and London Pride. So yeah, busy busy. There is also the Healing Palette, but I believe that is later on in the year. Not to forget that I have a commission piece to do for some peeps in the family.

So yeah, Pooks is still going strong. Waddle or no waddle. Haha! I am still working hard getting my alias name out there! Bwahahaha! Thanks for reading. Peace and love – Pooks

“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.”

– Stephen R. Covey

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

Short and Sweet

I don’t really have much to share this week. Just some thoughts here and there, I don’t know. Maybe they will add up. We’ll see.

I had a good visit over the weekend with my children. My daughter and I get artsy a lot. I guess I feel it is important as a parent to encourage her creativity. I mean, she told me that she’s the only student that takes interest in art in her class. The only artist. That is saddening. So I feel that it is my role to keep her inspired, and creating art so that this fucked up system doesn’t rob her of that, and try to direct her else where, when her passion is in art.

I think it’s cute that she takes pride in being a “weirdo” like mommy. She has that fearlessness to be silly, and just be herself. She calls me her star. So that’s pretty cool that I am making such a huge impact on this little person. I’m inspiring her.

For the last couple of weeks, my kids keep asking me if I’m famous. Haha! I joke around and answer, “Yeah, everybody knows me!” Other times I answer with; “I am known as Pooks the artist and writer.” I wouldn’t call it fame though. I’m not rich and glamorous.  Heck, I write this blog for free. As for my art, I do sell some pieces, but not enough to make a living. A portion of what I make is to give back to the Ark Aid Street Mission & the New School of Colour, or I donate my art to fundraisers. The goal is leave my mark, to create a ripple effect. A message. To be remembered after I’m gone, and to hopefully make some kind of difference in this fucked up world. It’s not about money.

Speaking of money, I got a notice from my co-op that I owe $40. Ugh! Money money money. People are always asking for more money. It’s annoying. Especially when realistically there isn’t enough floating around physically, and yet, people always want more. No matter what, you’re in debt. We’re all fucked, yet we keep supporting this stupid system. As for my co-op, they fear the co-op has maybe 8 years or so before the government fucks us over. If you were really that concerned, you’d get involved with the community that is fighting against Capitalism. Heck, there was an event held yesterday at the Aeolian Hall specifically about Co-Ops and Capitalism. How much you want to bet that no member of this co-op even went to this event? Even when their head office is plunked in a community that is trying very hard to make some positive changes.  I was considering it, but the time collided with the New School of Colour, and this sensitive little empathetic peach needs her art time damn it! So given a choice, art will always win with me. It heals, empowers, and gives me a voice in a very symbolic way. People tend to understand symbols better than they do each-other when it comes to communication. Art is power, thank the University for showing me that.

So yeah, no idea what I owe arrears for. But I’ll eventually take care of it. Just not really in a social mood, especially regarding something as utterly ridiculous as money. I’ll take care of it when I’m motivated, but right now I just think it’s stupid. It’s all bullshit. You people are silly.

There’s more important things to be concerned about. Which reminds me about this goal setting thing at Leads for our next module. It’s like I’m expected to want money. Want to make money. Make more money. Why? I hate it. My goals aren’t the same as the average person. There is a deeper meaning, a deeper purpose. I’m expected to be selfish. Yet I’m the kind of person that asks for fuck all. But I’m supposed to want to buy and consume. Love material things.

I guess you can say I give up trying to fit in a system that doesn’t want me in it to begin with. An annishanaabe woman is considered “inferior” in this world, so why the fuck should I try to cooperate? I mean, no one in this city freakin hires me anyways. Not to mention, we just keep losing more and more jobs, that doesn’t really help. So I might as well just do my own thing. Let me be, and stop pressuring me to be something I’m not. To conform into a system that thinks I’m not worthy. No thanks. I see why a lot of natives often just create their own jobs, and businesses. Following the herd is just unrealistic.

Anyways, I was thinking that maybe I should go on hiatus for awhile from this blog. There are trolls that just follow to criticize, not to mention, my obsessive ex that just won’t fuck off. He still stalks me here, and I’m quite tired of it. I don’t know what I have to say or do for him to get the point that Caski and Pooks are over. I mean, during my visits my kids will mention things from this blog, that they normally wouldn’t know had it not be for this blog, and their father stalking me online. We have been separated since 2009/2010. My life is none of his business anymore.

I don’t know. We’ll see how if I feel like writing next week or not. But lately, I feel less and less like writing. Maybe I just need a vacation from my blog, and live a little more privately. – Pooks

“To be left alone is the most precious thing one can ask of the modern world.”- Anthony Burgess

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©

All Rights Reserved. All Photos Property of Pauline King Shannon (Pooks) ©